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Rambling Rhodes

  • So, now it's just down to the polar caps

    Well, it's been awhile since I've tackled anything of any substance here, so I may as well crackle the old joints and blow the dust off the old fisking machine. This thing just begs to be torn apart. WASHINGTON -- Stop hyperventilating, all you climate change deniers. I'm sorry, was [...]
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    Posted: December 01, 2009, 8:55am EST
    by Ryan

  • Turkey Day Family Pic

    [...]
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    Posted: November 30, 2009, 10:01am EST
    by Ryan

  • Today's LOL moment

    Reading today's Bleat: I love magazines. Some of the happiest moments of my life consisted simply of sitting in an airplane reading the Economist, lost in the big thick glossy parade of news and stories from everywhere, assembled with skill, and presented without a slime trail of ignorant comments at [...]
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    Posted: November 25, 2009, 4:32pm EST
    by Ryan

  • WTF?

    As a ThunderJournalist who is not above hosting contextual ads on my site, I don't really have much of a critical leg to stand on when it comes to criticizing others who do so as well. That said, a certain local daily newspaper has been sporting the following online ad:' [...]
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    Posted: November 25, 2009, 1:53pm EST
    by Ryan

  • Simpsons did it!

    [...]
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    Posted: November 24, 2009, 11:31am EST
    by Ryan

  • Extreme Liveblog Challenge

    My Geode Twin (TM) Caroline and I will be conducting a joint liveblog session next week. In preparation for this momentous event, I'm asking you, the three remaining readers of this blog, to provide ideas about what we should liveblog about? Should we dabble in a specific genre of pun?' [...]
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    Posted: November 23, 2009, 12:27pm EST
    by Ryan

  • What can I say? The boy can poop.

    [...]
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    Posted: November 23, 2009, 11:39am EST
    by Ryan

  • I don't want a crybaby

    According to the frantic blast of 24/7 news I'm inundated by almost every day, I'm supposed to be thinking deep thoughts about healthcare reform, and I should be at the edge of my seat worrying about what we're going to do in Afghanistan, and I should stay in very close' [...]
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    Posted: November 18, 2009, 6:30pm EST
    by Ryan

  • Peering Over the Ledge

    It's hard to believe I've been writing this blog. . . sorry, ThunderJournal. . . for nearly eight years now. Eight years. Eight years of mental meanderings, nefarious links to Homestarrunner, Ding Fries are Done, Vulva and Lord knows where else I've taken this online fun house over the years. [...]
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    Posted: November 16, 2009, 3:10pm EST
    by Ryan

  • Cup full of "meh."

    Well, the Vikings won today, so that's pretty cool. On the other hand, the Packers won today, so that sucks. On the third hand, which grows out of my back, Aiden slept for seven straight hours last night, so that was certainly a plus. On the one foot, now he's' [...]
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    Posted: November 15, 2009, 10:30pm EST
    by Ryan

  • Hostile bidding

    Ryan: "Cadbury rejects hostile bid from Kraft Foods" I'm envisioning a butler shaking his head. Caroline: Can one reject a hostile bid? I wish it were that easy, right? Ryan: It all comes back to the Price is Right. "I bid 501 fucking dollars, ASSHOLE!" Ryan: Now THAT's a hostile' [...]
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    Posted: November 09, 2009, 3:10pm EST
    by Ryan

  • More Babby Pics

    [...]
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    Posted: November 09, 2009, 12:31pm EST
    by Ryan

  • Parodying That Which Defies Parody

    Taking the ball from these fine folks, I decided go one further and provide my own commentary. Mr. Beaknose Scowlbrow is shown here scowling at his framed certificate of achievement from Brylcreem University. Sarah "Squarehead" McNoNeck, shown here sporting her signature olfactory glasses, explains to prosecutors how it's possible to [...]
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    Posted: November 06, 2009, 11:34am EST
    by Ryan

  • Calendar Year

    Ryan: This month should be re-named "Suck-member." Ryan: And, yes, I see what I did there. Caroline: It's good that you acknowledge that right after you said it. Ryan: You ever notice that some of the coldest months end in "ber." Ryan: Lousy Gregorian calendar. . . Caroline: humorless bitches [...]
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    Posted: November 02, 2009, 2:26pm EST
    by Ryan

  • Dreams

    I had a dream Sunday morning wherein the furnace was ablaze. I was frantically trying to put it out when my wife yelled downstairs, "It's fucking hot up here!" To which I responded "The fucking furnace is on fire!" It seemed very dramatic at the time, but in retrospect it's' [...]
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    Posted: November 02, 2009, 12:19pm EST
    by Ryan

  • Question

    If you have sex while standing in a shower, is it still considered "getting laid?"... [...]
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    Posted: October 30, 2009, 2:53pm EDT
    by Ryan

  • Baby Smiles

    [...]
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    Posted: October 26, 2009, 8:22pm EDT
    by Ryan

  • Standing in Line

    There is a universal rule when it comes to my retail shopping endeavors. That is, no matter what check-out line I select, the person in front of me will always, ALWAYS, have some sort of issue that lasts 20 minutes. Take, for example, my family sojourn last weekend to that [...]
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    Posted: October 26, 2009, 4:15pm EDT
    by Ryan

  • Cat fight

    [...]
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    Posted: October 21, 2009, 12:59pm EDT
    by Ryan

  • Googlin' The Cougar

    Ryan: I love that one hair color commercial where two of the same guy is sitting on a couch, one with super gray hair, the other with super dark hair, and there's a cougar therapist. Ryan: That sentence almost looks like English. Caroline: I was gonna say ... My favorite [...]
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    Posted: October 21, 2009, 11:59am EDT
    by Ryan

  • Much ado about poo

    With just over a month now under my belt as a father, I've come to appreciate many of the precious nuances that come with having an infant human being in the house. Most specifically, I've learned that newborn babies tend to poop a lot. And, by a lot, I mean [...]
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    Posted: October 19, 2009, 7:41pm EDT
    by Ryan

  • Even more baby pics!

    You can suggest your own caption, but this seemed about right. His content look seems to indicate he dialed a 1-900 number, but I'll probably never know for certain....' [...]
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    Posted: October 18, 2009, 11:03pm EDT
    by Ryan

  • The Geode Twin Nobel Prize/Moon Nuking Liveblog

    9:43 a.m. - (Ryan) Couldn't figure out why Bob and Tom referred to our president as a Peace Prize winner while driving to work this morning. Now I know. The Peace Prize is now the equivalent of the prize in a Cracker Jack box. 9:46 a.m.- (Caroline) It should be' [...]
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    Posted: October 09, 2009, 10:43am EDT
    by Ryan

  • Policing the News

    With all the recent focus I've been bestowing upon being a new father, I've been remiss in my duties to you, my most cherished four readers, when it comes to bringing you the news and events that have been largely lost amidst all the headlines about such useless things as [...]
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    Posted: October 07, 2009, 12:26pm EDT
    by Ryan

  • More From the World of WTF Advertising

    I don't know what's more disconcerting here: the fact colon cleansers are so hip right now they warrant their own advertising, or that the truth about them is so shocking it can leave a woman aghast, momentarily disabled by cock-sucker's cramp, in front of her monitor....' [...]
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    Posted: October 07, 2009, 10:32am EDT
    by Ryan

  • The Era of WTF Advertising

    One of the hugely unfortunate aspects of the ever-expanding world of the Internet has been the proliferation of largely nonsensical advertisements. Companies eager to have their ads get some kind of attention, ANY KIND of attention are resorting to all sorts of animated tiles that seemily have nothing whatsoever to [...]
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    Posted: October 06, 2009, 11:39am EDT
    by Ryan

  • Nose Job

    [...]
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    Posted: October 04, 2009, 10:52pm EDT
    by Ryan

  • Like Sands Through the Hour Glass

    I should note, for the sake of future reference, that I was given a fourth stripe for my blue belt Friday night (10/2/09). Perhaps 2010 will be the year I test for a purple belt in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. New parenthood responsibilities could impact my training, although I'm thinking of possible' [...]
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    Posted: October 04, 2009, 10:13pm EDT
    by Ryan

  • Keeping the Family on Cuteness Update

    Here's Aiden being cute and sleeping. Here's Aiden after a particularly potent huff off the marijuana bong. "It's cool, maaaannnnn!"... [...]
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    Posted: October 02, 2009, 11:21pm EDT
    by Ryan

  • Hanging Out at PetCo

    [...]
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    Posted: September 30, 2009, 9:03pm EDT
    by Ryan

  • A little shout out to my niece

    With all the space I've dedicated over the last couple weeks to my new son, I feel I should also note I have a very cute niece....' [...]
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    Posted: September 29, 2009, 8:26pm EDT
    by Ryan

  • The All Baby Picture Channel

    Yes, my ThunderJournal has become a medium for posting baby pictures and stories. Hey, it's my ThunderJournal, so it can be whatever the hell I want it to, so NYAAHHHHHH! This was Aiden's first walk, which he took very seriously, whereas I, having been on countless walks in my lifetime, [...]
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    Posted: September 28, 2009, 6:28pm EDT
    by Ryan

  • Your Guide to 50 Hours of Labor

    Ever hopeful writer that I am, I went into my wife's labor inducement appointment earlier this month equipped with a notebook and pen, intent on chronicling the event as it unfolded. Of course, I was expecting a fairly routine labor experience but, as you'll see here, as with so many' [...]
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    Posted: September 25, 2009, 3:17pm EDT
    by Ryan

  • FIRST!

    Ryan: Honest to God, all of the pictures and video of women giving birth I've seen over the past weeks, I've been totally okay with. Caroline: Well, that's a relief. Ryan: The one image of a baby's first poop, however. . . W.T.F. Caroline: I changed that diaper. It wasn't' [...]
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    Posted: September 10, 2009, 11:14am EDT
    by Ryan

  • I Prefer "Fight Club"

    Tyler Durden: OK: any historic figure. Narrator: I'd fight Gandhi. Tyler Durden: Good answer. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Obama's kiddie speech: One young person asked the president whom he would choose to dine with if he could make only one such selection. "Ghandhi," Obama replied. "He's somebody I find a lot of inspiration'" [...]
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    Posted: September 08, 2009, 1:01pm EDT
    by Ryan

  • Double Standard

    So, apparently, a few years ago, many news outlets deemed certain Danish cartoons depicting Mohammed so potentially offensive, they refused to republish them. But now it's okay to publish an image of a mortally wounded soldier against the family's wishes. Gotcha.... [...]
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    Posted: September 05, 2009, 3:37pm EDT
    by Ryan

  • Stimul'own'd!

    Yesterday, Vice President Joe Biden proclaimed the "stimulus" had achieved success beyond expectations. Today, the unemployment rate sits at 9.7 percent. Somebody should tell Joe Biden to STFU.... [...]
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    Posted: September 04, 2009, 12:07pm EDT
    by Ryan

  • Gross to the Third Degree

    There's an ongoing slogan bandied about between my wife and me regarding the impending arrival of our first child. The slogan has several different variants to better reflect each unique circumstance we encounter, but at its heart, it goes: "our lives are about to get 50 percent more gross." Whether [...]
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    Posted: September 01, 2009, 2:01pm EDT
    by Ryan

  • Hamming it up

    [...]
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    Posted: August 31, 2009, 3:41pm EDT
    by Ryan

  • Bug Puns

    Ryan: That's the only thing that keeps me from doing it. I'm scared of what the company might do to me. Even though all I would do would be to exploit a temporary bug in their program. Caroline: bug exploitation doesn't carry a prison sentence Ryan: In some states it [...]
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    Posted: August 31, 2009, 3:05pm EDT
    by Ryan

  • Covered in "Duh"

    As Dow nears 10,000 again, does it matter? Experts say it could be sign of healthy economy, or overheated market Soooo, it may be a good thing, unless it's a bad thing? Duly noted.... [...]
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    Posted: August 31, 2009, 2:43pm EDT
    by Ryan

  • Your Monday Dose of Geode

    Caroline: What up boyeeeeeeeeeee? Ryan: Zappening, my geological doppleganger? Caroline: I'm just geodin'. Ryan: Keeping it crystal? Caroline: This could get really nerdy, really fast. Ryan: You mean it didn't already? Caroline: We toed the line. Ryan: So long as we didn't toad the wet sprocket. Caroline: I was always [...]
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    Posted: August 31, 2009, 10:58am EDT
    by Ryan

  • True Journalists

    Caroline: 2,110 words. PHEW Ryan: I knew you had it in you. We journalists can always dig deep when we need to. Caroline: Sometimes we have to make stuff up Ryan: Well sure, but we're okay with that. That's what makes us true journalists. Caroline: We have that certain "meh"' [...]
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    Posted: August 21, 2009, 11:20am EDT
    by Ryan

  • Payola for Pets? Why not?

    It's official: the "Cash for Clunkers" program is a success, and politicians are dislocating their elbows patting themselves on the back for their genius. It's apparently now considered a success to realize and prove the obvious fact a lot of people will crawl over their own mothers to get a [...]
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    Posted: August 19, 2009, 1:24pm EDT
    by Ryan

  • Geode Twins Radio Show Slogan

    Alternatively, there's Caroline's version:... [...]
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    Posted: August 18, 2009, 6:37pm EDT
    by Ryan

  • What has been seen, cannot be unseen

    I'm going to guess. . . Two old people about to kiss a chalice, whilst two mariachi singers serenade on their faces....' [...]
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    Posted: August 17, 2009, 3:35pm EDT
    by Ryan

  • No sir, I don't like it

    I saw a television commercial last evening for something called "LiverAid." I'm not sure what the product is intended to do, but I do know you can't have an anthropomorphized cartoon liver as your mascot. It just looks wrong, somehow. I think it's the protruding lobe that makes it look [...]
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    Posted: August 14, 2009, 5:14pm EDT
    by Ryan

  • Let's boogie

    Obama: Health critics creating 'boogeymen.' Now, if the critics would just create "Boogie Nights," then I'd be interested, provided Heather Graham reprises her role as "Roller Girl."...' [...]
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    Posted: August 11, 2009, 2:41pm EDT
    by Ryan

  • Thoughts From an Expectant Father

    Last week marked the start of birthing (formerly called lamaze) classes for me and my wife. Since I likely won't be doing much in the way of birthing, the classes are more geared towards my wife; I'm included, I believe, mostly as a reminder that I'm somewhat responsible for the' [...]
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    Posted: August 06, 2009, 3:08pm EDT
    by Ryan

  • Interesting

    Apparently, when Twitter takes a dump on the Internet, my blog traffic bumps up. Who knew?... [...]
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    Posted: August 06, 2009, 12:51pm EDT
    by Ryan

  • Keeping my options open

    Twitter is apparently down. Which is why I carry the Blog Express Card. Never log-in to the Internet without it.... [...]
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    Posted: August 06, 2009, 10:35am EDT
    by Ryan

  • Bill Boyne Has Water on the Brain

    One nice thing about having a blog. . . er. . . ThunderJournal, is when your comment on a news article is deemed uncivil and hence deleted, you can just port the whole lame article to your site and mock it directly. Scientists have predicted a worldwide water shortage that [...]
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    Posted: August 05, 2009, 8:30pm EDT
    by Ryan

  • Taint Talk

    Caroline: I was just about to send your article to pinup and I did a spell check. Turns out "containts" isn't a word. I assumed you wanted to say contains, so that's what it is now. I laughed quietly to myself. Ryan: No, it's a word that means "false perineums."' [...]
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    Posted: August 05, 2009, 12:13pm EDT
    by Ryan

  • Math is hard

    A man went to cash in his clunker, An '83 Chevrolet junker. "$4,500?!" he hollered. "It's worth $100 dollars!" Could government be any more drunker?...' [...]
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    Posted: August 04, 2009, 1:07pm EDT
    by Ryan

  • Gosh, consider me convinced

    This kind of reminds of me of the "mark to market" kind of thinking that worked so well for Enron, back in the day: Its allies claim that CBO forecasts, for instance, don't reflect potential future cost savings that might be expected from the prevention of illness achieved from wider' [...]
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    Posted: August 03, 2009, 4:51pm EDT
    by Ryan

  • At Least They're Staying True to the Medium

    With news organizations around the globe now embracing blogs after over a half decade of talking trash about them, it's nice to see they also bring all the misspellings, grammatical errors and half-researched content to the medium they derided for so long. Welcome aboard, guys. It's the Internet; there's plenty [...]
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    Posted: August 03, 2009, 2:21pm EDT
    by Ryan

  • Go figure

    I could live for 150 more years and never be able to adequately understand the ongoing obsession with Sarah Palin. If I had my way, I would have heard the last of her last November. But, no, the media obsession with her has kept her on the radar way the [...]
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    Posted: August 03, 2009, 1:31pm EDT
    by Ryan

  • Coulda, shoulda, woulda

    Ryan: With all our great ideas over the years, there's no excuse for our current employment misery. Caroline: Uh, I can think of a great excuse. Money. Or lack thereof. Ryan: We should have a huge TotalTard Magazine subscription, and Polio cologne should be flying off the shelf. Caroline: Ahhh, [...]
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    Posted: July 30, 2009, 11:04am EDT
    by Ryan

  • Baby News

    The good news? Baby boy is healthy in the womb, with a strong heartbeat. The iffy news? Baby boy is not facing the right direction; his head is up under Mom's ribs, rather than facing the eventual, preferred exit. Not a hugely worrying problem, but something that has to be [...]
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    Posted: July 29, 2009, 10:17pm EDT
    by Ryan

  • Must have sprayed Spam-Be-Gone TM

    Thankfully, the shitstorm of blog comment spam seems to be trailing off. It was getting pretty bad there for awhile. Being the dedicated spam deletion machine I am, however, none of the spam comments from the last 3+ weeks remain on this ThunderJournal. That's just how awesome I am. And [...]
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    Posted: July 27, 2009, 1:33pm EDT
    by Ryan

  • Going Through the Car Wash

    One thing you just grow to expect as your automobile ages is that things tend to break down, and those things don't, as a rule, take into consideration whether it's convenient for you. Tires can blow out when you're already running late; the horn can inexplicably become locked, blaring your [...]
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    Posted: July 21, 2009, 7:19pm EDT
    by Ryan

  • Blog Comment Spam Is Soooo 2006

    And yet, lately, blog comment spammers have planting their spammy spamminess in comment boxes all around my blog, from the earliest posts, to the most recent. I can't for the life of me understand how they honestly think it achieves anything, but then again maybe they're just content with the [...]
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    Posted: July 21, 2009, 2:55pm EDT
    by Ryan

  • Soapy Writing.

    Ryan: P-B opinion piece: "Write with zest and believe in yourself" Caroline: That made me throw up a little bit in my mouth. Ryan: How does soap help you write? Caroline: It'll make your copy zest-fully clean. Ryan: You gotta read the article. I realize he's ESL, but the thing' [...]
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    Posted: July 15, 2009, 2:18pm EDT
    by Ryan

  • Wordsmithing

    Caroline: You know what's a funny word? Onus. Ryan: Because it's one vowel swap away from anus? Caroline: YES! A vowel swap sounds risky. Like, you'll get a VD from performing one. Ryan: It's a whole different world when "The anus is upon you."...' [...]
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    Posted: July 13, 2009, 1:25pm EDT
    by Ryan

  • Just an FYI

    Please note, I do not necessarily relish the downfall of newspapers. It's more accurate to say, I root for the rise of the blogosphere; newspapers just happen to be in the way.... [...]
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    Posted: July 09, 2009, 1:41pm EDT
    by Ryan

  • Pretty much

    I can't listen to music with lyrics while I'm writing for exactly this same reason. XKCD.com... [...]
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    Posted: July 07, 2009, 5:44pm EDT
    by Ryan

  • Memory Mate

    It's been awhile since I've jumped into the insanity of current news headlines to bring to you, my valued four readers, the news and information that tends to slip through the cracks of the more mainstream media outlets. With the news today being dominated by frankly boring reports of an' [...]
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    Posted: July 06, 2009, 3:15pm EDT
    by Ryan

  • Happy Boom Boom Day!

    The title. What it said.... [...]
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    Posted: July 04, 2009, 1:22pm EDT
    by Ryan

  • Bill Boyne is a Moron, But I Repeat Myself

    In the absence of the regular brain drool dolloped out by Nick Coleman in the past, I've had to search for other writers who shut their neurons off years ago yet continue to write mind-numbingly retarded things. Thankfully, the local Post-Bulletin happens to keep printing the monkey-like yammering of one' [...]
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    Posted: July 02, 2009, 1:22pm EDT
    by Ryan

  • The Freshmaker

    Ryan: Internet ads have become even more annoying than the pop-up era. Caroline: yeah, I hate the ones that take over the screen Ryan: I KNOW, RIGHT?! Caroline: I get so PISSED. F U, weather.com. I don't need this Ryan: You sit there for five seconds looking for the x' [...]
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    Posted: June 29, 2009, 3:24pm EDT
    by Ryan

  • Sure, it's a PhotoShop, but still. . .

    [...]
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    Posted: June 29, 2009, 12:26pm EDT
    by Ryan

  • I'd Like You To Meet A Stupid Person

    Mary Uhazi is a stupid person. Mary Uhazi has more than $60,000 in credit card debt and, by her own account, “nothing to show for it.” Not true. She has $60,000 in credit card debt to show for her $60,000 in credit card debt. That's SOMETHING. “You have some clothes, [...]
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    Posted: June 23, 2009, 5:32pm EDT
    by Ryan

  • Book of Geodes

    Ryan: In the future book you and I are going to co-author, one of the main characters is going to be "Cockleton Wangley." He'll be a penis doctor researching the condition known as "Cock Blocking." Caroline: He also holds seminars on how to be a loyal wingman. Ryan: Ooh, another' [...]
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    Posted: June 22, 2009, 2:52pm EDT
    by Ryan

  • Babby Names

    Ryan: Gonna be a hot one today. Caroline: hot. hot, hot, according to the PB Ryan: *sigh* I read that. Caroline: first-class reporting, that Ryan: They also have an opinion piece written by a "Dick Polman." Caroline: nuh uh Ryan: Which is so full of WIN, it's crazy. The only' [...]
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    Posted: June 22, 2009, 1:44pm EDT
    by Ryan

  • Buying a Car: The American Way

    Are you thinking about buying a new car that's not produced by evil corporations? Is your old car a gas guzzling behemoth that makes you ashamed to be a denizen upon the face of Mother Gaia? If you answered "Yes" to either of these questions, then you may be an [...]
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    Posted: June 18, 2009, 12:29pm EDT
    by Ryan

  • Huh?

    Somebody please explain to me why Sasha Baron Cohen is considered funny.... [...]
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    Posted: June 17, 2009, 8:13am EDT
    by Ryan

  • Hollow Cost

    Ryan says: Tough day: http://www.startribune.com/local/47918372.html?elr=KArksLckD8EQDUoaEyqyP4OW3ckUiD3aPc:_Yyc:aUUs Caroline says: That sounds like a hot mess. Ryan says: D'oh, I hit a deer! A female deer! D'oh, I hit the pavement! D'oh, I got hit by a car! Caroline says: See, if those were the lyrics in Sound of Music, it'd be more [...]
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    Posted: June 12, 2009, 10:31am EDT
    by Ryan

  • Humor Deficient

    It has to be said: whenever John Hodgman appears on the Daily Show, you pretty much have to prepare yourself for a seriously unfunny segment. Even the audience seems to be laughing mostly out of strained pity.... [...]
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    Posted: June 11, 2009, 2:18pm EDT
    by Ryan

  • Sweet Merciful Crap

    He obviously got at least one in the pink. Now he's going for one in the stink. Gah. It's B&W, but I'm betting it's Jeff Fecke in his thinner years, if he had them (inside joke). Via, thanks to an e-mail via....' [...]
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    Posted: June 08, 2009, 10:26pm EDT
    by Ryan

  • A David Carradine Tribute. . . Sort of

    Bangkok, Oriental setting And Carradine don't know what Carradine is getting The creme de la creme's on the window drapes All are wondering why Dave missed dinner. Time flies -- doesn't seem a minute During asphyxiation, time has no limit All change -- don't you know that when you Wank' [...]
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    Posted: June 06, 2009, 2:11pm EDT
    by Ryan

  • Get With the Times, bin Laden

    This week, the world was once again treated to yet another audio tape released by perpetual bogeyman, Osama bin Laden. As news events go, such taped releases now carry more news heft than NBA playoff updates, but less than any development surrounding Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. Leaving aside the [...]
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    Posted: June 04, 2009, 11:51pm EDT
    by Ryan

  • Missed Opportunity

    The news about the Hummer SUV brand being sold to a Chinese company opens all sorts of jokes about Humvees made of lead, with narrow headlights, to say nothing of how you can fill up a Chinese Humvee's gas tank, but it just needs to be filled again three hours [...]
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    Posted: June 02, 2009, 4:26pm EDT
    by Ryan

  • Like Peanut Butter and Milk Chocolate

    I'm thinking it might be a fun project to take some of the texts from "Texts From Last Night" and put them in Lego cartoon form. That seems like a humorous thing to do....' [...]
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    Posted: June 02, 2009, 1:29pm EDT
    by Ryan

  • Good News

    *Caroline assigned me a freelance article due next week* Ryan says: Danke. Oog, tough deadline here, you slacker. Caroline says: Sorry. The good news is we have some wiggle room. Ryan says: That's great if you're engaging in an orgy....' [...]
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    Posted: June 01, 2009, 9:43am EDT
    by Ryan

  • Verifying I'm Still Here

    I have not given up on blogging in preference of Twitter, just so you know. It's just that I haven't had a lot of long-winded things to say lately. That, and 3/4 of my energy this week has been burned up hanging sheetrock....' [...]
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    Posted: May 29, 2009, 2:55pm EDT
    by Ryan

  • Consider me Skeptical

    This is a picture that runs as part of a weight loss ad that appears on countless Web sites. As "Before and After" pictures go, this one particularly grabbed my attention due to the sheer shamelessness of its impossibility. Firstly, in the "before" image, the woman's tits are just a [...]
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    Posted: May 26, 2009, 11:20am EDT
    by Ryan

  • This applies to so many online comments

    Via.... [...]
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    Posted: May 22, 2009, 12:38pm EDT
    by Ryan

  • Recession Reaching

    Ryan says: This MSNBC.com headline does not compute: "Some seniors can't afford to graduate." Ryan says: College, I could understand, but high school? Ryan says: Ohhhh, they can't afford to go through the ceremony. . . Ryan says: To which I say: so, don't. The paper proof is the most' [...]
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    Posted: May 22, 2009, 11:05am EDT
    by Ryan

  • Penis Goes Where?

    With all due "not that there's anything wrong with that" qualifications established, this is quite possibly one of the gayest pictures ever to grace the front page of MSNBC.com.... [...]
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    Posted: May 21, 2009, 9:33am EDT
    by Ryan

  • Pregnancy? Fun? Hardly.

    My wife has been pregnant now for about six months, presumably with my child, provided I extend the benefit of the doubt. In other words, I've basically been going insane now for about half a year. My wife went into the whole pregnancy thing thinking being pregnant would be fun,' [...]
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    Posted: May 19, 2009, 10:46pm EDT
    by Ryan

  • Writer's Block

    This was an interesting read, although I disagree with some parts of it. Yet writers are, as a class, extraordinarily at risk. They spend their twenties, and often their thirties, living paycheck to paycheck. Boy howdy, was that true back during my first writing gig, a beat reporter making $6 [...]
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    Posted: May 18, 2009, 5:40pm EDT
    by Ryan

  • Caroline says: Oh, I was driving up ...

    Caroline says: Oh, I was driving up to the cities to pick my mom up from the airport and there was this dbag right on my ass. He passed me and his Iowa plate said "NINJA" Caroline says: Isn't that ... not very ninjaesque? Ryan says: Not very concealed, no.' [...]
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    Posted: May 18, 2009, 12:38pm EDT
    by Ryan

  • Awesome

    "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" just started.... [...]
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    Posted: May 17, 2009, 10:35pm EDT
    by Ryan

  • Because I Have a Blog, and I Can

    Okay, so, a little background: The "Minnesota Independent," formerly the "Minnesota Monitor," is a hodge-podge almalgamation of blissful idiots who happen to be able to write somewhat coherently and have an idea of "journalism" as an anointed calling that's not unlike a pseudo-priesthood for people with an opinion who can [...]
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    Posted: May 17, 2009, 10:26am EDT
    by Ryan

  • Boxer Shorts of Powder

    Ryan says: I Tweeted and FB'd this, but it strikes me as really funny: "You know you haven't worn a pair of boxers in a LONG time when you go to put them on and the elastic band turns to powder when stretched." Caroline says: Powdown'd! Ryan says: Happened to' [...]
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    Posted: May 07, 2009, 1:03pm EDT
    by Ryan

  • The World Is Falling Apart. . . Sort Of

    Let's just face it: the world is falling apart right before our eyes, according to the news outlets of the world, which we should always accept at face value and without question, because news outlets are staffed with the smartest, most altruistic geniuses on the planet. Yeah, I couldn't buy' [...]
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    Posted: May 05, 2009, 3:37pm EDT
    by Ryan

  • Fap Splort

    Ryan says: Do you think there are fetishists out there who are turned on by a linea negra? Caroline says: It seems like there are fetishes for EVERYTHING, so probably. Ryan says: That sweet, sweeeeeet linea negra. Ryan says: *fap, fap, fap* Caroline says: SPLORT Ryan says: I CAN HAS [...]
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    Posted: May 05, 2009, 12:45pm EDT
    by Ryan

  • Bike Talk

    Caroline says: Whatever happened to village bicycles? Ryan says: Too many people had a ride? Caroline says: Fear of swine flu? Ryan says: Schwinn Flu. Caroline says: It's a Giant problem. Ryan says: That last comment was chock full of SCHWINN! Caroline says: Schwinner schwinner, pork chop sammich dinner! Ryan [...]
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    Posted: May 04, 2009, 11:39am EDT
    by Ryan

  • The great viral hype

    The 2009 Swine Flu will go down in history as the greatest one week media overhype to ever disgrace the news. Until the next time.... [...]
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    Posted: May 04, 2009, 10:06am EDT
    by Ryan

  • Sugar Tits

    [...]
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    Posted: May 03, 2009, 10:15pm EDT
    by Ryan
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