SPITBULL

• OUR OWN HOME-GROWN ENTERTAINMENT PACKAGE

  This summer the six year old suddenly demanded to play the violin. Her obsession had the quality of a crush, coming from nowhere that I could discern. I am terribly untalented myself, and dare not even sing in the shower. The Warrior Monk, however, can carry a tune and to [...]
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  Posted: September 02, 2007, 3:16pm EDT
  by Eloise

• DUMBEST. QUESTION. EVER.

  Q I have some rare whiskey that's 45 years old. How can I get rid of it?
  
  From our local rag's Fixit column. [...]
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  Posted: August 10, 2007, 8:05pm EDT
  by Eloise

• WE, AND OUR FAMILY, ARE FINE

  ... in case you were wondering. Definitely the biggest disaster in the Twin Cities since I have lived here.
  
  The ten year old is already afraid of bridges. How are we going to persuade her to travel over one in the future? Everywhere we go, we must cross [...]
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  Posted: August 01, 2007, 9:30pm EDT
  by Eloise

• WILL WE FIND LITTLE DECAYED TEETH ALL OVER OUR YARD NEXT WEEK?

  Our summer babysitter has finally landed a full-time job and is moving out of state. The kids staged a huge neighborhood party for her today, complete with a home-made pinata.
  
  When I got home from work this afternoon, I spotted at least two squirrels in the back yard, one [...]
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  Posted: July 19, 2007, 7:21pm EDT
  by Eloise

• THERE GOES THE NEIGHBORHOOD

  It's a fine summer night and all the kids in neighborhood (well, at least 10 of them) are shrieking and chasing each other with sticks in some Harry Potter-inspired game.
  
  "Regroup!"
  "Huddle! Huddle!" cries are wafting in my window.
  
  It will all end in tears, of course, but' [...]
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  Posted: July 13, 2007, 9:07pm EDT
  by Eloise

• EGG ON THEIR FACE

  More proof that some of the best advertising is free -- and the best way to get free advertising is to be banned. Extra points if you're banned by a government watchdog panel: Fifty years after Britons were implored to “Go to work on an egg”, an advertising' [...]
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  Posted: July 05, 2007, 6:20pm EDT
  by Eloise

• TEXANS KNOW ABOUT COWS, DON'T THEY?

  Is global warming going to be the newest mass tort? One obscenely successful Texan plaintiffs' attorney, Stephen D. Susman, thinks so:
  “Melting glaciers isn’t going to get that much going, but wait until the first big ski area closes because it has no snow,” said Susman, who teaches' [...]
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  Posted: June 25, 2007, 10:00pm EDT
  by Eloise

• COME SE DICE "REVOLVING DOOR"?

  Italy recently put a controversial indulto (sentence reduction for prisoners) into effect. Guess what happened next? Within hours, dozens had been arrested and sent back to jail after reoffending.
  There were 194 bank robberies nationwide in the month before the amnesty was introduced last July. After the law was [...]
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  Posted: June 17, 2007, 8:35pm EDT
  by ELOISE

• GIVES NEW MEANING TO THE TERM p://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gaydar">"GAYDAR"

  The Guardian today reports that in 2002 the U.S. military requested $7.5M to investigate the possibility of spraying the enemy with chemicals to make them gay:
  "One distasteful but non-lethal example would be strong aphrodisiacs, especially if the chemical also caused homosexual behaviour," says the proposal from the Air [...]
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  Posted: June 13, 2007, 8:02pm EDT
  by ELOISE

• THEY TAKE THESE THINGS SERIOUSLY IN WISCONSIN

  A bar owner over the border was fined for using the wrong tap -- he (gasp!) used a Coors Light tap to avoid wasting some Miller Light beer. Nope, sorry, got them mixed up (I often do). Tap was Miller Light, beer was Coors Light.
  
  "I didn't think'" [...]
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  Posted: June 05, 2007, 9:10pm EDT
  by ELOISE

• FEAR FACTOR

  After resisting for eons, I've finally agreed to allow the ten year old to invite four of her friends over for a sleep over. I established some ground rules for interactions with her younger sister (no physical contact, vague admonitions to be nice) and sleeping (go to bed early, sleep' [...]
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  Posted: June 02, 2007, 3:34pm EDT
  by ELOISE

• EARLY SIGNS OF ALZHEIMER'S IN JUDGE POSNER??!!

  The renowned jurist's response to a recent question (posed in Slate to ten prominent writers):
  I usually ..... But I cannot for the life of me remember why I chose that! I used to ..., which I like a lot. ... And I ..., which I also liked;' [...]
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  Posted: May 26, 2007, 4:42pm EDT
  by ELOISE

• LOOK INTO THIS CRYSTAL BALL, AREN'T YOU GETTING SLEEPY?

  Right:
  The offices and bedrooms of conservatives are neat and contain cleaning supplies, calendars, postage stamps and sports-related posters.Righties like country music and documentaries. And they're fans of hip-hop, rap and dance music (well, U.K. Righties).Conservatives showed a higher tendency for lucid dreaming (being aware you're [...]
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  Posted: May 20, 2007, 4:45pm EDT
  by ELOISE

• RISKY BUSINESS

  Despite being a mom myself (eagerly anticipating my haul of homemade gifties tomorrow morning) I am perversely pleased when I come across evidence that contradicts a Mom-ism. The latest: bicycle helmets attract cars. Add it to the heap:
  Crossing your eyes is good for you.Coffee, alcohol [...]
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  Posted: May 12, 2007, 5:02pm EDT
  by ELOISE

• IN THE SPRING A YOUNG MAN'S FANCY LIGHTLY TURNS TO THOUGHTS OF EX-POST OPPORTUNISM

  An economist muses on why some relationships that should end, don't:
  Relationship-specific assets [knowledge of each other’s tastes and quirks, routines that allow them to coordinate their schedules" etc.] give both partners partial protection against market competition, which means they can reduce their contributions and still remain attached. Partners'" [...]
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  Posted: May 01, 2007, 4:36pm EDT
  by ELOISE

• STOP THE MADNESS!

  A recent study concludes one child is best:
  In comparing identical twins, [a sociology professor] found that mothers with one child are about 20 percent happier than their childless counterparts; and while fathers' happiness gains are smaller, men enjoy an almost 75 percent larger happiness boost from a firstborn' [...]
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  Posted: April 18, 2007, 7:46pm EDT
  by ELOISE

• BS

  Someone has finally taken a brave stand on all the scandalous and immoral political hanky-panky going on -- the United States Patent and Trademark Office:
  Registration is refused because the proposed mark consists of or comprises immoral or scandalous matter. Trademark Act Section 2(a), 15 U.S.C. §1052(a); TMEP §1203.01. [...]
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  Posted: April 06, 2007, 12:11pm EDT
  by ELOISE

• UNIVERSAL WARMING

  A planet may be getting warmer ... and it's not Earth:
  Temperatures on Mars have increased slightly over a 20-year period due to the action of Martian winds, scientists have found.
  Yes. Our entire solar system is going to hell in a handbasket.' [...]
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  Posted: April 05, 2007, 10:42pm EDT
  by ELOISE

• ROBOSILLY

  Just a reminder to myself not to think that just because robotics makers once managed to ccme up with a useful one, a trend was born:
  
  
  
  What does it do? It dispenses tissues so that people can blow their noses. Really.
  [...]
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  Posted: March 16, 2007, 4:00pm EDT
  by ELOISE

• ACT YOUR AGE

  You know you're not a kid anymore when you stop whning that you want to sleep in the top bunk and how come the nine year old gets to sleep there and not you.
  
  You know you're middle-aged when you start having long conversations with your friends about medical [...]
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  Posted: February 28, 2007, 10:17pm EST
  by ELOISE

• WE THE PEOPLE

  Yesterday's would-be hijacker of Air Mauritania Boeing 737 is now in custody, no thanks to crappy security procedures that allowed the man to board the flight with two loaded pistols. The heroic pilot of the plane figured out that the hijacker couldn't speak French and issued instructions over the public [...]
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  Posted: February 16, 2007, 2:02pm EST
  by ELOISE

• AND THE LOSER IS ...

  Now that they don't have to deal with Anna Nicole Smith any more the last drawback to claiming paternity of her 5 month old child has been removed and the cockroaches are coming out the woodwork, waving their antennae, and having a party.
  
  May I nominate a' [...]
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  Posted: February 09, 2007, 8:26pm EST
  by ELOISE

• HOW COLD IS IT?

  We've been enjoying an arctic fart these past few days here in sunny Minnesota. My kitchen floor was grouted this morning and when the tiler used a wet sponge to remove the excess grout, the floor froze.
  
  I better not tell my kids or they'll want to go [...]
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  Posted: February 05, 2007, 3:39pm EST
  by ELOISE

• JANUARY

  ... and coincidentally, this blog appears to be in hibernation mode. The other bloggers have their own excuses, but mine is that I've turned my attention to remodeling our kitchen. Demolition begins Monday. Last week our dumpster was mistakenly delivered to the wrong address (it did find its way back' [...]
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  Posted: January 20, 2007, 1:58pm EST
  by ELOISE

• HI/LO

  All three Spitbull authors traveled to Chicago last weekend for a highly anticipated meeting. On Friday we stayed at one the nicest hotels I have ever visited and on Saturday I slept in a sleeping bag on a futon.
  
  We feted a friend at a private club [...]
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  Posted: January 08, 2007, 6:17pm EST
  by ELOISE

• NOTHING TO SAY BUT MAYBE SOMETHING TO MURMUR

  Our local MSM outlet is mopping its brow with relief:
  

  Ennui and exhaustion are idling some online opiners. Next year may see a decline -- or at least a leveling off --in the blogging boom.

  We admit, we at Spitbull haven't exactly been bucking this lazy trend lately. It's [...]
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  Posted: December 31, 2006, 8:50pm EST
  by ELOISE

• WEIRD

  1. This past Saturday--nine days before Christmas and five days before the winter solstice--I went running. Outside, in Minneapolis, wearing shorts. This may or may not be evidence of global warming, but it sure is weird. Not entirely unwelcome, but weird.
  
  2. Last Thursday night I took the kids [...]
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  Posted: December 19, 2006, 7:56am EST
  by THE WARRIOR MONK

• THE THINGS WE DO

  Is the motivator love? Obligation? I don't know, but this afternoon I occupied a table at the kids' version of Vegas and attempted to corral our designated hostess into giving us plastic forks for the birthday cake (I do know the guests will eat it with their grubby hands, [...]
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  Posted: December 17, 2006, 10:43pm EST
  by ELOISE

• A CHRISTMAS (SHOPPING) STORY

  I have long reached that stage in life where beautiful young women look at me (if they look at all) solely as a source of babysitting revenue. But Sunday I got not one, but two looks!
  
  She was gorgeous. Probably around 25 or so, blonde, maybe 5'7". Low [...]
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  Posted: December 14, 2006, 12:55pm EST
  by John

• BOOZE NOTES

  December 7 is an anniversary too, and while it has no particular connection with cocktails, I had one anyway. A Manhattan, to be precise, made to my usual specifications: Maker's Mark, perfect, rocks, heavy on the bourbon. (I'm eager to try the W.L. Weller special reserve that our co-blogger [...]
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  Posted: December 07, 2006, 10:53pm EST
  by THE WARRIOR MONK

• CHEERS!

  December 5, 2006 is the anniversary of the ratification of the 21st Amendment, a fitting occasion indeed for a toast to distant friends. I will observe it most reverently. [...]
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  Posted: December 04, 2006, 5:05pm EST
  by John

• COMPUTER DOPE

  The way to get a sport taken seriously is to ... administer drug tests?
  

  Chess's world governing body will introduce dope testing at the Asian Games this week, although the sport's top official in Doha said he had no idea how drugs could enhance chess performance.
  
  * [...]

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  Posted: November 28, 2006, 3:40pm EST
  by ELOISE