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cherrynkiwi

  • Super Secret Squirrel*

    Number of comments: 2
    So, there my sister and brother-in-law sat, minding their own business on the couch. And then, something squirrely ran across the living room floor. It was, in fact, a squirrel.

    Blake hopped up and opened the back door, and the squirrel scampered out.

    I'd give anything to have' [...]
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    Posted: June 06, 2009, 11:26pm EDT

  • "You sold us a hair with a cake around it. I'd like another one."

    Number of comments: 5
    1) The waiter attempted to remember our order rather than write it down. Emphasis on "attempted."

    2) My friend's grapes were served with a side of fuzzy mold.

    3) The waiter took away my friend's plate (of non-moldy food) before she was really finished.

    4) The waiter [...]
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    Posted: February 05, 2009, 10:26pm EST

  • A Day in the Life of a Can

    Number of comments: 7
    President-elect Obama's Renew America Together campaign is teaming up with YouTube to sponsor a video competition. Individuals and organizations have been asked to create a three-minute or less YouTube video designed to tell the story of what they plan to do on MLK Day. The videos could be dramatic, heartfelt,' [...]
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    Posted: January 16, 2009, 12:32pm EST

  • Gore Elected President

    Number of comments: 3
    Well, you never know where your photo will show up once you've posted it online. Especially when your boss uses Facebook.

    Yesterday, I was elected President of a local grants association. So, after it was official, my boss, Bill, sent this email to our entire staff.

    "Subject: Gore'" [...]
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    Posted: December 11, 2008, 1:37pm EST

  • hi, i'm cheap, part 2.

    Number of comments: 0
    If you thought my last coupon savings amount was good, get ready. On Saturday, I saved $31. [...]
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    Posted: December 08, 2008, 8:50pm EST

  • kids these days

    Number of comments: 2
    Regardless of what the law actually is, what do you think should be done to youths ages 14-17 who roam my neighborhood in groups, yelling obscenities at anyone they see?

    What if you knew they had stolen weapons, vandalized more than 30 vehicles, stolen bikes, thrown rocks at houses, [...]
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    Posted: November 23, 2008, 9:46pm EST

  • hi, i'm cheap.

    Number of comments: 1
    I know this will heap cries of, "boring," upon me, but listen to this:

    Last night, I saved $23.48 on groceries using clipped coupons, Shortcuts.com, and my Kroger card. TWENTY THREE DOLLARS.

    Do you know about Shortcuts.com? You can register your Kroger card, then add coupons from the [...]
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    Posted: November 17, 2008, 10:32pm EST

  • some assembly required

    Number of comments: 2
    for the record, i'd like to say that i just finished assembling my new stationary bike. all by myself. even though the instructions said "two people required." well, there's just one person around here, so with determination and a little acrobatics, i did it.

    while i'm at it, i'd [...]
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    Posted: October 29, 2008, 12:29am EDT

  • CA

    Number of comments: 0
    Just back from Long Beach, California for a conference for us grant writer types. (insert: "Laura. Boring.")

    California, where all food, including breakfast, is served with sprigs of asparagus and slices of tomato, where cab drivers go 90 mph and honk the millisecond the light turns green, and where [...]
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    Posted: October 27, 2008, 1:56pm EDT

  • Intervention

    Number of comments: 0
    Have you watched the show on A&E called Intervention? It isn't the staged insanity of today's reality TV shows. Each episode tells the story of a person with an addiction of some sort, from the addict's point of view, their family's point of view, and with footage of the addict's' [...]
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    Posted: October 08, 2008, 10:18pm EDT

  • twins!

    Number of comments: 2

    This is the second time in a month that I have discovered twin Gerbera daisies growing in my flowerbeds! Two blooms on a single stem, joined in the center. In these two cases, the twins grew from different plants, in different flowerbeds, on opposite sides [...]
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    Posted: October 01, 2008, 1:47pm EDT

  • After Ike

    Number of comments: 5

    thanks to my old pal chris for taking these photos and posting them on his site with updates about orange.
    and especially for checking on mom & dad's house today. it's not flooded.

    Orange - historic Stark House


    Orange [...]
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    Posted: September 13, 2008, 12:27pm EDT

  • Bruuuuuuuuce

    Number of comments: 2
    In what will probably be a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for me, I saw Bruce Springsteen in concert last night. Bruce (you know, like we're friends on a first name basis) was a stellar entertainer. Whatever it cost for front-section seats, those people definitely got their money's worth. He was all over [...]
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    Posted: August 22, 2008, 3:25pm EDT

  • cheaper than therapy

    Number of comments: 3
    Haagen-Dazs of the chocolate peanut butter variety.
    It's heaven in a cardboard carton.
    I'm just sayin'.

    Nevermind that there are 360 calories in a half-cup serving.' [...]
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    Posted: August 14, 2008, 8:06pm EDT

  • happy birthday to me

    Number of comments: 4
    I want to show you what my coworkers did for my birthday a few weeks ago. I share a birthday with a girl in my department. We both lived in Texas for much of our lives, still love it, and miss it. So, instead of a traditional birthday cake, our [...]
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    Posted: July 28, 2008, 8:23pm EDT

  • *sigh*

    Number of comments: 3
    Okay. Let's say, hypothetically, that while watering your yard flowers, you notice the 18 month old baby who lives on the next block moseying down the alley toward your street. Say when you run from your yard to the other end of the alley to catch him, you don't see [...]
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    Posted: July 24, 2008, 9:59pm EDT

  • Customer Dissatisfaction, Part 4

    Number of comments: 1
    I bought a new laptop from Circuit City a few months ago on tax-free weekend. It was quite a deal, including a free printer and a year's worth of virus protection. I signed up for Verizon mobile broadband, too. Huge mail-in rebates all around.

    When I walked in on' [...]
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    Posted: July 23, 2008, 9:53pm EDT

  • Ode to Willie

    Number of comments: 5
    My neighbor Willie, that is. Willie, you may recall, lives two doors down and is the best neighbor ever. As I worked in my yard on Saturday, Willie was once again working in the yard of the house between us which has been vacant since the owner passed away [...]
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    Posted: June 23, 2008, 9:11am EDT

  • Puh-leeease.

    Number of comments: 1
    Court Orders Prison to Give Inmate Vegan Meals
    Thursday, June 19, 2008
    Associated Press

    BOSTON — A federal judge has ruled that the state's prison system violated a convicted child killer's civil rights by denying him a vegan diet.

    U.S. Chief District Judge Mark Wolf ruled this week [...]
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    Posted: June 19, 2008, 2:45pm EDT

  • I read it in an email, so it must be true.

    Number of comments: 1
    If one more person forwards an email to me without first checking the accuracy of its contents...

    I've said this before, but recent forwards inspire me to say it again. www.snopes.com is your friend.

    Barack Obama is not the anti-Christ. [www.snopes.com]

    Ken Blackwell wrote a' [...]
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    Posted: May 22, 2008, 11:40pm EDT

  • Street View

    Number of comments: 4
    I just discovered the relatively new feature on Google Maps called Street View. And I must say, I'm a little creeped out. Type in your address to see a street-level photo of your house. Mosey down the road to see your neighbors' houses. You might even see your neighbor standing [...]
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    Posted: May 12, 2008, 4:14pm EDT

  • Customer Dissatisfaction, Parts 2 and 3

    Number of comments: 2
    So my Aunt Sandy stopped at a local McDonalds to place a drive-through order. When the employee repeated her order and told her a total cost, she was pretty sure she had been overcharged. So at the window, she asked the guy for a receipt. Basically, this is how it [...]
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    Posted: April 25, 2008, 3:56pm EDT

  • We're not satisfied until you're not satisfied.

    Number of comments: 2
    Next on my list of home improvements is to replace the dinosaur of a range vent hood with an over-the-range microwave, simultaneously solving the issues of "it's ugly and broken" and "I have no countertop space." After one survey trip to Lowe's, I was ready to buy it the next [...]
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    Posted: April 15, 2008, 3:48pm EDT

  • Lafayette, TN

    Number of comments: 5
    My uncle David, aunt Linda, and cousin Matt were home in Lafayette (Macon Co) when the tornadoes came through on Tuesday night. Considering the interior damage, I can't believe they got out with only scratches.


    front of cabin, sinking to the right
    [...]
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    Posted: February 11, 2008, 10:32am EST

  • I'm having you over for dumplings and monkey stew.*

    Number of comments: 4
    And after my previous post, I must confess that I had a small kitchen fire on Monday night.

    Days before that, I had boiled a whole chicken in a big pot on the stovetop. Well, the pot wasn't really big enough, so drops of water would splash-boil out from' [...]
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    Posted: February 01, 2008, 12:33pm EST

  • Thanks, Mom.

    Number of comments: 2
    I love to cook. Thanks, Mom. "Girls, come into the kitchen for a minute. You'll want to know how to do this later." We'd roll our eyes and mope to the kitchen for a demonstration. Before long though, I was voluntarily sitting on the kitchen stool across the counter from [...]
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    Posted: January 26, 2008, 7:59pm EST

  • merry christmas, pals.

    Number of comments: 4

    i love giving gifts, partly because i get to go pick out fun wrapping stuff. wal-mart has some really fun christmas gift bags this year, like the big snowman head above... but more than that, i love making christmas goodies, [...]
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    Posted: December 21, 2007, 1:00pm EST

  • ...and ...

    Number of comments: 4

    ...and who can blame her? When I pushed the shower curtain back and got out my bottle of bubble bath, she saw "Bath & Body Works Warm Vanilla Sugar" and interpreted it as "Equate Dog Shampoo." [...]
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    Posted: December 19, 2007, 10:49am EST

  • i'll believe you when*

    Number of comments: 0
    i've tried so many times
    to tell you how i feel
    but you're far too disbelieving
    are you trying to get even with me

    maybe once or twice
    i wasn't fair i wasn't nice
    but now i've got myself together
    when i promise to be better
    you say

    [...]
     | Rate | Archive
    Posted: December 10, 2007, 12:26pm EST

  • A Mickey Mouse Operation

    Number of comments: 5
    I spent last Wednesday through Sunday in the Washington D.C. area for the annual conference of the American Association of Grant Professionals. *pause for quips of "boring!"* As my boss put it, the gathering could easily be mistaken for a retired librarians convention.

    The keynote speaker, however, was not [...]
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    Posted: November 13, 2007, 1:29pm EST

  • Oh, stand by.

    Number of comments: 2
    I am about to have so much fun this weekend. So, so much. I'm heading to Abilene where there will be favorite folks, folk music, and some fall festivities. And there had better be a glass of juice with my name on it.

    When I return, I'll blog about [...]
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    Posted: October 25, 2007, 8:23pm EDT

  • What to do if you're attacked by monkeys.

    Number of comments: 1
    Hey, you never know. Apparently, recognizing which TYPE of monkey is attacking you is the key to your defense.

    [www.slate.com] [...]
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    Posted: October 25, 2007, 11:42am EDT

  • Sad.

    Number of comments: 4
    As my dad drove to church last night, he saw a young man standing in the road trying to flag down a car. Considering the neighborhood, and having seen a car ahead slow down but then drive on, dad was a little concerned. But, not wanting to be the preacher [...]
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    Posted: October 01, 2007, 1:05pm EDT

  • [nt]

    Number of comments: 3


    [...]
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    Posted: September 24, 2007, 3:19pm EDT

  • Always wear clean underwear.

    Number of comments: 7
    My aunt Joni invited me to the Titans/Colts game on Sunday. Now, I'm not particularly a football fan - okay, I'm not a fan at all - but if I'm gonna go to one game all season, it should be the Titans/Colts. Perfect weather, great seats, good game.

    With [...]
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    Posted: September 18, 2007, 9:46am EDT

  • Publix, where shopping is a pleasure.

    Number of comments: 3
    I used to roll my eyes at the slogan for the grocery store, Publix, because it says, "Publix, where shopping is a pleasure." Shopping? A pleasure? Impossible, to be sure.

    That is, until Saturday, when I was drawn to Publix by some ama(aaa)zing advertised sales. Let me tell you, [...]
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    Posted: September 04, 2007, 10:16am EDT

  • If Love Was a Plane*

    She’s 98 pounds, working down at the Dairy Queen
    With an Ogilvy home perm and braces
    He’s long-haired, no job, and just 19
    Got a baby on the way, they’re off to the races

    In love
    Look at ‘em go
    What in the world could go wrong?
    Don’t tell [...]
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    Posted: August 09, 2007, 1:15pm EDT

  • and now, for the inside.

    i only guessed wrong on one of the colors, requiring a re-paint.
    not bad for not taking any material with me to Home Depot.


    i have been saving these black & whites for more than a YEAR and [...]
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    Posted: August 05, 2007, 12:34pm EDT

  • i'm a winner.



    I came home from work on Friday to find this sign in my yard. The Old Hickory Village Neighborhood Association awarded me Home & Yard of the Month! How about THAT?! I also found an Old Hickory Village mug tucked [...]
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    Posted: July 31, 2007, 9:22am EDT

  • Oscar the Cat, harbinger of death.

    Thursday, July 26, 2007
    Associated Press

    PROVIDENCE, R.I. — Oscar the cat seems to have an uncanny knack for predicting when nursing home patients are going to die, by curling up next to them during their final hours. His accuracy, observed in 25 cases, has led the staff to [...]
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    Posted: July 26, 2007, 10:53am EDT

  • The Rules

    My pal Jeremy and I made an arrangement a while back. If we are both still single at 30, we will marry each other. And time is ticking.

    However, if Jeremy marries someone before we're 30, then I'll have to marry Cole. I mean, "get to" marry Cole.

    [...]
     | Rate | Archive
    Posted: July 17, 2007, 8:56am EDT

  • when it comes down to it

    [www.foxnews.com]

    I agree. A person has no duty to retreat from an intruder before using deadly force. I should get to assume the intruder is armed and dangerous instead of having to assume he had a rough childhood and could be talked out of hurting me. I shouldn't [...]
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    Posted: July 10, 2007, 11:21am EDT

  • gag me.

    it seems that Hotmail has a new ad campaign:

    "SUPERSIZE YOUR INBOX - THAT'S HOT!"

    the fact that they are using paris hilton's stupid line makes me want to cancel my hotmail account. [...]
     | Rate | Archive
    Posted: July 07, 2007, 11:30am EDT

  • Thank you, God, for rain. After about two months ...

    Thank you, God, for rain.

    After about two months without rain, it is FINALLY raining HARD today. Which is good, since my yard has looked like it was about to spontaneously combust.

    Even this girl who likes her sunshine is very grateful for the rain today. You Abilene [...]
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    Posted: June 19, 2007, 9:40am EDT

  • like mother, like daughter.




    [...]
     | Rate | Archive
    Posted: June 11, 2007, 3:53pm EDT

  • E-I-E-I-O

    Did anyone else watch the National Spelling Bee last night? You'll only say "boring" if you didn't watch it. I was so nervous for each kid as they listened to a word they had never heard of before, then had to spell it on national television, not to mention with [...]
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    Posted: June 01, 2007, 10:14am EDT

  • won't you be my neighbor

    i spent the long weekend keeping the Lowe's garden center in business. three trips later, i have some attractive flower beds, if i do say so myself. although anything would be an improvement over what was there. (i found a golf ball, a little green army man, candy wrappers, and [...]
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    Posted: May 29, 2007, 11:49am EDT

  • Meet Riley

    Here's Riley, my new puppy.



    [...]
     | Rate | Archive
    Posted: May 22, 2007, 4:18pm EDT

  • tick, tick, tick, tick...

    I was pretty sure I was about to witness a mass shooting last week. At Comcast.

    I was standing in line to return a modem. The line was moving quickly, the employees were friendly, the sun was shining.

    Then a man bursts through the doors, yelling obscenities at [...]
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    Posted: May 08, 2007, 10:25am EDT

  • He was so much fun! I sat in this chair and held ...

    He was so much fun! I sat in this chair and held him pretty much all weekend.






    [...]
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    Posted: May 04, 2007, 9:57am EDT

  • my new nephew!


    8 lbs, 1 oz and 20 1/4 inches long.He is a happy camper!I'll see him in two weeks. Let the spoiling begin. [...]
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    Posted: April 13, 2007, 3:55pm EDT

  • Celebrations of Life

    You know how people these days refer to funerals as "celebrations of life?" They say, "He would have wanted this service to be a celebration."

    Really? Because I thought "celebration of life" is what all these birthday parties have been about. I can't think of a time when I've [...]
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    Posted: April 04, 2007, 11:44am EDT











  • [...]
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    Posted: March 23, 2007, 2:29pm EDT

  • sights and sounds


    This flower was the only yellow one on the entire bush.All of the others were red. How does that happen?


    This is Kingston, the bird who lives with the family that hosted some of us on [...]
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    Posted: March 20, 2007, 1:02pm EDT

  • Aloha

    I'm back in Nashville after an awesome week on Kauai. My sleeveless top, capris, flipflops, and tan looked rather out of place in Chicago where it was 35 degrees as I passed through. More about the trip later, photos included.

    But I'd just like to say that my ticket [...]
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    Posted: March 18, 2007, 5:24pm EDT

  • First Home


    Unless the home inspector finds a termite or two, this place is officially mine at the end of March. It is the cutest thing you've ever seen... hardwood floors in every room, lots of windows, clawfoot tub, front porch, and a [...]
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    Posted: March 08, 2007, 9:09pm EST

  • who's in charge around here?

    Today as I stood in an unreasonably slow check-out line at a clothing store in the mall, I had the chance to observe an unruly two-year-old boy, his older brother, and their mother. And by unreasonably slow, I mean 45 minutes, so there was plenty of time to observe.

    [...]
     | Rate | Archive
    Posted: March 04, 2007, 11:04pm EST

  • the things we think up...

    Any guesses for what's in this picture?

    It's the soap on my car windshield in a car wash. I was a little stunned when the soap splattered down in green, pink, and blue. All I could think was, "WHY ARE THEY WASTING MONEY MAKING IT COLORED? [...]
     | Rate | Archive
    Posted: February 20, 2007, 1:18pm EST

  • well, it is official.






    32 days from now, i will be returning for my third once-in-a-lifetime trip to hawaii. kauai this time, instead of oahu. i'm so excited i [...]
     | Rate | Archive
    Posted: February 06, 2007, 1:31pm EST

  • if it ain't broke...

    while i was surfing the internet this morning, my high-speed connection went down. completely out. i reset the modem, rebooted the computer, etc. still out. i figured it was a widespread temporary outage, but i called my provider to be sure. after 25 minutes on hold, i gave up. hours [...]
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    Posted: February 03, 2007, 5:59pm EST

  • the best, jerry. the BEST!


    Every time I have ever tried to make banana bread according to any recipe, it has always ended up burned on top and doughy in the center. Every single time. I had given up.

    But I accidentally let 3 bananas get too ripe last [...]
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    Posted: January 30, 2007, 12:49pm EST

  • "he's a good boy."

    I'm fascinated by the ways that family dynamics and crime are related, both before and after a crime takes place. I'm also intrigued by the way police handle (or don't) particular crimes. If I had taken those Social Deviance and Criminal Justice classes a year earlier than I did, I [...]
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    Posted: January 22, 2007, 1:42pm EST

  • quack *cough* quack

    Sunday, January 21, 2007

    Associated Press
    TALLAHASSEE, Florida — The duck would not die.

    Wildlife officials said the feathered Lazarus had been shot by a hunter and put into his refrigerator for two days. That's when the hunter's wife opened the door and the duck lifted his [...]
     | Rate | Archive
    Posted: January 22, 2007, 1:10pm EST

  • if everyone loved and nobody lied*

    when i hear stories of character failure on a grand scale, i always wonder how the situation deteriorated to that point. i mean, i figure cheating husbands don't start with sex with a stranger. they start with emails or phone calls or something "small" like that. students who swipe the [...]
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    Posted: January 13, 2007, 9:13pm EST
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cherrynkiwi

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