My roommate and I witnessed these have gay sex on our porch.
Okay, okay… not really gay sex… but their penises were entertwining, according to the British man who narrated the video I’ve posted below.
Allow me to explain:
I came home late from work, as I always do on Monday [...]
My friend, DB, is in an interesting situation. Earlier this year, he went to the Dominican Republic to attend a friends wedding. At the resort, he met a girl, Agnes, who was vacationing from Chicago. The two hit it off right away and spent as much time as they could [...]
Last weekend, I was running horribly late for the wedding I flew north for. I unfortunately missed the big moment where one of my oldest friends, Nicole, had a break-down as she walked down the aisle. I would’ve liked to see her “Moment.” But my tardiness allowed me to see [...]
I suppose this is more of an open letter to John. I need to explain myself… if only for the simple fact that I feel I need to say these things, though I know they won’t change anything. It doesn’t excuse my behavior, but I feel that they need to [...]
It took a few vodka-redbulls and a mess of Girls-Bathroom variety tears, but last night I finally heard the words that I’ve known but needed to actually hear from John Galt. Except they came through my roommate, who after almost ten years of knowing me knows that when it comes [...]
…because everything is making me cry these past few days. (Crying more than usual… cause I cry a lot).
Yesterday, all I wanted was a Strawberry milkshake from McDonalds. I left my office to run some errands yesterday, so I decided to head over to the golden arches for a [...]
Last weekend, I returned to my hometown to attend the wedding of one of my best friends from high school. We grew up in a suburb located twenty minutes outside of Big Midwestern City (BMC) and despite its proximity to BMC, it’s really more like Mayberry. To complete the idyllic [...]
My posts have slowed down lately, I know. My apologies to all of y’all who live vicariously through my salacious stories. I have dozens of story ideas floating around in my head, but I just haven’t had the down-time yet to actually put them on paper (or computer screen, really). [...]
As I type this, I’m sitting on an airplane headed up to that big Midwestern city on the lake (no, not that one… the other one) to visit my family. The flight is about three quarters full and I’m nestled comfortably against the window—my favorite place to be, as I’m [...]
Once upon a time, I was tending bar at the Brou-haha when a rowdy group of out-of-towners, in town for the Titans/Jets game, came stumbling in after the match-up.
The super-fans, obviously waaaay beyond hammered, settled in at the bar, hoping for more booze.
No such luck.
So the drunken [...]
DISCLAIMER: I am not a squeamish person. As you can probably tell, there isn’t much that embarrasses me or grosses me out. However, when the topic of this post came up in a conversation with my girlfriends, I was thoroughly sickened. It wasn’t the subject matter, per say, but more [...]
For those of you not blessed with it…
do you ever miss being in love? I don’t mean “miss” as in something superficial like being sad that you don’t have a Valentine’s Day date. I mean “miss” as in the feeling that there’s a whole part of your being that [...]
I was surfing round the intarwebs this afternoon and I ran across an interesting article on Yahoo touting 5 Tips to Rekindle Your Relationship. After reading through them, I think they’re on to something.
There is an episode of Sex And The City that always sticks out in my mind, in which the four girls sit around talking about “having sex like a man.” What they mean is having sex completely detached from any feelings, where they don’t expect a relationship or a phone [...]
The change is a’coming. I can feel it deep in m’bones. Have you felt it? It’s the oppressive summer finally, slowly, giving way to the relief and ease of fall. It’s starting. Very subtle, but happening nonetheless. And I couldn’t be happier.
I felt it this morning when I got [...]
Middle Tennessee might be in the midst of one the worst droughts in our history, but there is certainly not a drought happening in Graceland. In what can only be described as a freak of nature, I have found myself booked for a date every single night of this upcoming [...]
Games. We all play ‘em. Even when we say we don’t. Saying we don’t play games is just another form of game playing.
Dating is a game. If you think that isn’t true, then you’re not doing it right. When you’re trying to win someone over, everything you do is [...]
I’m a drag queen trapped in a straight woman’s body. I discovered this peculiar fact on Sunday night when my sister, who is newly out, and my roommate and I went to Lucky’s on Church Street for the La Cage drag show.
How did I figure out that I am, [...]
Barcamp Nashville was almost two weeks ago, so I’m a little late on writing about it, but I just had to talk about it. Even though it was insanely toasty in the venue, I consider the day an overwhelming success. Not only did I walk away with several ideas that [...]
Nashville is way too small. All day long, for whatever reason, someone has been lurking in the back of my brain… tap tap tapping at my consciousness, making me think of him.
I love going to movies. I probably end up going to a flick five or six times a [...]
It’s often the anticipation that is the best part of something. Anticipation of sex on a fabulous date makes the act all that much better when it finally happens. The longing for something, anything, but not quite knowing when it will happen. Shared glances and smiles. Both of you knowing [...]
In my previous post, I revealed one of the many weapons I possess in luring the opposite sex into my lair and rendering them helpless. But there’s an essential accessory that goes with that Dress. It’s not the sky-high heels… it’s the swagger when you wear the sky-high heels.
I’ve [...]
There’s an extensive arsenal I possess to conquer the opposite sex. I won’t reveal all my weapons to you, but there’s one that I need to talk about. The Dress.
I bought this dress a little over a year ago from one of my favorite boutiques, where everything they sell [...]
Overhead tonight on the phone:
John Galt: So what are you up to tonight?
Me: Not much. Just laying low and playing with my pussy and wiener.
JG: ……um………
Me: my cat and the dachshund I’m baby-sitting this weekend. Sicko.
[...]Have you ever had one of those nightmares where you’re back in high school, walking down the hall to class and everyone you pass is laughing and pointing and staring at you? They’re whispering and giggling behind notebooks and tripping over themselves to walk as far away from you as [...]
Netflix sent me one of my favorite movies this weekend—Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind. Since it was released three years ago, I’m assuming nobody minds if I spoil the general premise for you. In the film, two people who just broke up with each other take advantage of a [...]
There was once this mythical place, where your actions had no real repercussions, you could say “meh” to bills and your taste buds didn’t know that Bud Light was a shitty beer. This land I speak of is commonly called “College.”
Once upon a time, I lived in this land. [...]
Hey everyone, it’s going to be light posting here till probably Sunday or Monday. I’m going to be doing my first ever guest-blogging gig over at Music City Bloggers. So come on over there and visit. I’ll have posts about things other than anal sex and cooters, so come [...]
My gay boyfriend Brian In Chicago is hella into astrology. When you become good friends with him, he’ll draw up your star chart and keep it in a manila file folder. If you call him with a problem, he’ll pull your chart out of his files and explain to you [...]
You never know where a date in Graceland will lead. You better bring a helmet. It could get ugly.
Friday night was an eagerly anticipated Date Night. I had lined up an outing with Fanboy, a man who literally popped into my life a few weeks ago, and I must [...]
Whatever happened to the good ole days of dry-humping? You know… seventh grade? The “good ole days of dry-humping” are the days before you lost your virginity in an awkward, sweaty exchange and the moment you awaited most was getting your nether regions fondled through your jeans.
When you went [...]
There are billions of women in this world, and of these billions are countless gorgeous, poised, strong, fearless femmes ready to take on anything. They aren’t afraid to kick ass in the workplace, the marketplace and the global stage. But when it comes to their happiness in relationships, so many [...]
More of my favorite Google Searches: (Now with snarky comments!)
cast away
dance metaphor couple
validictorian speeches
hopefully the searcher took my advice about validictorian speeches
should jilted girlfriend tell cheater’s
jilted girlfriends should never do anything. Except take a deep breath. Being a “jilted girlfriend” is just a boiling rabbit away from [...]
With the advent of the internets, a vast new world has opened up to us. Instant access to Christmas cookie recipes, midget porn, diagnoses for wierd rashes and pictures of kittehs with funny captions. Along with all that randomness is the sole King of All Interwebisms: Google. The Font of [...]
A certain someone has been making appearances in my dreams lately, and I’m none too happy about it. Nope, it’s not John Galt or Gibson or Dave Letterman or any of those other obvious choices. It’s Doughboy. The dreams haven’t been steamy or all that remarkable, they’ve just been little [...]
Strap on those seatbelts, kids! We’re going on a road trip. Where?
Up The Hershey Highway!
We need to have a conversation about anal sex. I’ve had this talk many times with my girlfriends. I’ve had it many times with my guyfriends. And I’ve realized that both groups have very different [...]
The past couple weeks, I decided to start calling up those guys who I turned down for dates in the past year or so… you know, in an effort to expand my horizons and get my mind off other distractions and just start making steps towards finding an actual relationship. [...]
I still have dancing on the brain. I just can’t get the memory of the Saturday Night Centennial Park dances out of my mind. I even picked up a few dance lessons while I was there…
DB and I spent our Sunday afternoon taking in a matinee and followed it up with a fabulous dinner and discussion at Bistro 215 (one of my favorite places on a Sunday evening—they have a Dixieland Jazz band!). As discussions with my friends usually do, talk turned to relationships. I [...]
I spent my Saturday night at the big band dance at Centennial Park, with my date Dubs, a miniature dachshund I’m watching for the weekend. Armed with my dog, I wasn’t afraid of being a wallflower and I was eager to listen to some of the greatest music ever written [...]
This has nothing to do with relationships. But it has everything do with love. I ran across this photo on my hometown’s NBC-TV website and it instantly made me homesick. I grew up right on this lake, going to the beach every day during the summer, my uncle teaching me [...]
Deja vu?
For some reason, I woke up this morning missing him more than usual. I’m not missing him so much anymore, as each day passes, it gets easier and I forget what was good a little more and remember what was bad a little more, too. But then this morning, [...]
For some reason, I woke up this morning missing him more than usual. I’m not missing him so much anymore, as each day passes, it gets easier and I forget what was good a little more and remember what was bad a little more, too. But then this morning, I [...]
Did you happen to notice that a few Sunday’s ago, there was nary a sorority girl, southern belle or overbearing mother to be found in Nashville’s streets–and overpriced boutiques? That’s because they were all trapped in one room, amid screams of “OMIGAWD” and “LOOK HOW CUTE!” They were among the [...]
Hey you!
Yeah, you!
Stop looking at that depressing-ass post down there and look up here!
Okay. Good. Now that I have your attention….
I want to proposition you. Yeah, you. YOU. Seriously, dude.
Every Saturday during the summer, there’s a Swing Dance at Centennial Park. I have yet to go, because [...]
