Number of comments: 4 "Dig 'Em": Another example of our curious local custom car vernacular. (I like to joke that Sarah should get her Subaru tricked out in a similar manner. But what brand would be appropriate for a Subaru Forester? A preferred variety of quinoa?' [...]
Number of comments: 3 "Turkey Lurkey." Yeah, I dunno. I generally feel compelled to draw some jokey little Thanksgiving doodle, and this is the best I could come up with this year. (You can't imagine the pressure!) Get it: he's a turkey; and he's lurking; hence, Turkey Lurkey.' [...]
Number of comments: 9 People often ask me, "Slim what's the meaning of life?" to which "I respond, I have no idea, but I will tell you my Unified Theory of Sweet-and-Sour Cocktails, which is almost as good and maybe even better." Are you ready? Behold the Grand Unified Ratio! 2 part booze
Number of comments: 6 Okay, so what's his deal? He's got a bit of a craggy detective à la Colombo thing going on, but then what the heck is he wearing? Is that some sort of pilgrim rain gear? (I drew it so presumably I ought to know, but [...]
Number of comments: 3 What technical, ethical, and legal obstacles must be overcome before we can shod our children horse-style? May I suggest that we resolve them promptly?*
* Sadly, they don't exist, but if they did, I'd pay good money for the services of a shoe-nanny: Just come in the morning, convince [...]
Number of comments: 3 "Animal, vegetable, or mineral?" "None of the above." "What do you mean, 'None of the above'?" "I mean 'None of the above.'" "It's got to be one of the above. It's got to be something real." "It is real, and it's none of the above." "That's impossible." "It most certainly" [...]
Number of comments: 0 Comic? Certainly. Ironic? I think not. (Are five-year-olds even capable of irony? I doubt it. I imagine in-depth ironological investigations would indicate that irony is a higher-order concept, the capacity for which doesn't develop until sometime around adolescence. But what do I know?)[...]
Number of comments: 1 The other morning at breakfast, out of nowhere, June absentmindedly launched into a pitch-perfect correctly phrased and intoned recitation of the theme song from "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air": "In West Philadelphia born and raised, On the playground was where I spent most of my days. Chillin' out, maxin'," [...]
So we're like, hey, Circle Bar, we're feeling kind of spooky, so can you give us some spooky shows, and they're like, okay, how about Halloween, and we're like, yeah, okay, that's pretty spooky, we'll take it, but have you got any other [...]
Number of comments: 3 Hurricane warnings and school closures—huh. We're plenty to used to hurricanes or the threat of them disrupting the flow of daily life around here, but that's usually a summer/early fall kind of thing. Sure, Ida's been steadily marching across the Gulf for a couple of days now, giving us' [...]
Number of comments: 3 Ah, the minds of children: mysterious and endlessly entertaining. Louise recently lost a front tooth, and we put it in an envelope to go under her pillow. Louise decided to decorate the envelope—like such:
The front of the envelope "To: Miss Toothfairy from: Louise" [...]
Number of comments: 12 I was at the grocery store yesterday, and a bearded, ponytailed, middle-aged man in a fedora and vest stopped an employee to ask, "Is there such a thing as sauerkraut?" I wanted to interrupt and say two things: Yes! Yes there is! And it's the most wonderful food in' [...]
Number of comments: 2 Our lovely Audubon Zoo resides in our lovely Audubon Park, and one of the curious consequences is that one can be traipsing around with kids on some mild Saturday, doing park-ish things, and can spot, over some unassuming fence, a wayward giraffe stealing [...]
Number of comments: 0 I woke up today with those terrible name puns from the closing credits of Car Talk—you know, "Russian chauffeur: Picov Andropov..., Head of Working Mother Support Group: Erasmus B. Dragon...,"* etc., etc.—running through my head on continuous loop. What the hell is that about?
Number of comments: 2 A bunch of our friends just had babies,* and more than one used a doula. I'm inspired and have decided to hang up my shingle as a: dude·la n. A doula for dudes.I'll help freaked out newbie dads develop their personal birth plan and provide emotional and physical support [...]
Les Brusiers return from the dead—or more precisely, from a lengthy hiatus (various life journeys: living, loving, learning, etc., etc.)—for an ultra-spooky* Halloween Spooktacular at the Circle Bar this Saturday. See you there.
Number of comments: 5 Recently, on something-close-to-a-whim,* Sarah and I switched designated sides of the bed. And I don't mean like just for a few minutes or just for an evening. I mean like permanently. Like I used to be on the near side and she used to be on the far side, but' [...]
Number of comments: 6 Cute smile and everything, but I swear they used a Bumpit on my child. (Warning: That link plays the genuine as-seen-on-TV incredibly irritating ad, so think twice if you're at work.)' [...]
Number of comments: 2 I was playing with some musicians the other night, not earnest amateurs like myself, cobbling together scant scraps of knowledge into some elemental semblance of a musical construct, but genuine semi-professional and professional hepcat gigging musicians, the kind who travel places to play in front of large groups of people [...]
Number of comments: 0 Returning from my school to my work today, without even trying, I practically ran into the Presidential motorcade. I work a stones throw from where they held today's town hall meeting, and when I found my usual route barricaded and thronged with police and onlookers, I detoured into the' [...]
Number of comments: 3 It seems the girls have inherited my beatboxing tick (or "beat-dead-horse-boxing", if you prefer).* And when the three of us get going simultaneously (but not quite synchronously), sputtering and clicking beats of our own amateurish devising, let me tell you, Sarah just absolutely loves it. (Especially in the [...]
Number of comments: 5 Usually my car smells just fine (thank you very much), but periodically (once a week, let's say), I get in and it smells very strongly of vinegar. What's up with that?*
* In the absence of an alternate explanation, I'm forced to assume that a lockpicking hobo is' [...]
Number of comments: 7 We've focused on ironic mustaches in great detail (and more recently touched on ironic eye wear), but these are just a few select genres in a broader pantheon of ironic accoutrements. Might I suggest that we assemble an Ironic Inventory, a comprehensive taxonomy of ironic accessorizing? (And we'll [...]
Number of comments: 9 Those close to me know that if they want to send me into a logico-linguistic tizzy, they can just say: "Did you know a tomato is really a fruit, not a vegetable?"Let's proclaim this Tizzy Tuesday, get all righteous and indignant, and lay this half-truth (/half-falsehood) to rest once and [...]
Number of comments: 4 My "Four Eyes" post has raised a slew of requests/inquiries:A new profile picture and/or an illustrationWhat's the deal? Near or farsighted?A photographDetails of the selection processAre the glasses ironic? And in the interest of full, ahem, transparency (does that even qualify as a pun? a bit thin), I'm' [...]
Number of comments: 7 For most of my life to date, I've had the good fortune to have well-shaped and highly functional eyeballs, but recently I found myself muttering grumpy-old-mannish things along the lines of "Godammit! Why do they have to make the print so small?" and I began to wonder if the gig' [...]