The Bayou

• Daybreaker: The "dirtiest" church in all of Port Arthur

  We'll let our friend of the Bayou introduce this pic, shot last week in Port Arthur."I am not sure which is worse, the URL banner that says ROCKCOC, the banner that says nothing is to "hard for God," or the fact that those banners go so well together."[Click on pic' [...]
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  Posted: December 19, 2009, 1:15am EST
  

• Jaws: East Texas man finds surprise in his Wal-Mart veggies

  Since you count on us for all the latest vermin news, we leave you with this weekend nugget.Over in East Texas, a man -- doing his best amateur archaeologist impression -- claims to have discovered a rat jaw in his package of Great Value brand (aka, Wal-Mart) mixed veggies. If [...]
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  Posted: December 18, 2009, 4:29pm EST
  

• Happy, happy, joy, joy: Our neighbors are elated! Us? Sort of

  Y'all happy? You should be. According to a new survey commissioned by the Centers for Disease Control, the "happiest" Americans live next door.The CDC spoke to 1.3 million folks over a 4-year period and attempted to measure their happiness. How you do this using science-like parameters is anyone's guess. The' [...]
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  Posted: December 18, 2009, 10:57am EST
  

• Tweet, Tweet: The Houston Chronicle music critic gives Beaumont some love

  Wow, all he needed to do was announce the concert. No need to pile on. This whole Twitter, tweet, twat (?) thing is causing some folks to lose all manner of formality. Still, you only have 140 characters to say what you want; and he managed to get a nice [...]
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  Posted: December 18, 2009, 9:51am EST
  

• Daybreaker: Da Cowboys get a new "official" song

  Hell, since the big game won't be broadcast on cable, might as well grab the kiddies and gather 'round the ol' utubes (on the plus side: Elf is on instead).Depending on your vantage point, you'll either wanna vomit after seeing this video OR stand up and cheer.The Dallas Cowboys have [...]
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  Posted: December 18, 2009, 12:08am EST
  

• Bayou pic of the day: Our kind of truck

  Spotted this morning. If y'all need any holiday gift ideas, we'd love one of these. Just sayin'.' [...]
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  Posted: December 17, 2009, 2:35pm EST
  

• The Bayou annals of world-class irony: BISD performs a Christmas miracle!

  It's holiday time, a fact not lost on the BISD. They gave us the most wonderful gift. A gift so rich with irony, we gained five pounds just reading the press release. You shouldn't have, Carrol.Let's backtrack: Central HS head basketball coach, Calvin Rice, was canned relieved of his duties' [...]
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  Posted: December 17, 2009, 10:41am EST
  

• Daybreaker: Buna man reported dead, still very much alive

  On Tuesday, we ambled onto the KFDM website and read about a horrific car accident that occurred out on Highway 12, just east of Mauriceville.They reported that James Everette of Buna was one of two fatalities that resulted from the two car collision.Only they had the wrong man."The Texas Department" [...]
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  Posted: December 17, 2009, 12:02am EST
  

• You're fired! A pink slip for fantasy football

  No that they've finished ruing the global economy, financial workers and other "masters of the universe" now have a lot more down time.As a "relationship manager" (whatever that is) at a North Texas Fidelity Investments office, Cameron Pettigrew is one of those with a little extra freedom. So he took' [...]
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  Posted: December 16, 2009, 1:59pm EST
  

• Heads up: Santa makes an early Beaumont appearance...in a body cast

  Wanna scare the kiddies out of their wits? This weekend, take 'em to see Santa. The big man ain't all that frightening, it's what happens to the jolly one that'll give the children nightmares.On Saturday, Santa will "lose control" of his sleigh and fall to Earth. Kids are welcome to' [...]
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  Posted: December 16, 2009, 11:23am EST
  

• Bayou holiday gift guide, Part 2: It's like a giant diaper for your neck

  Sweet Lord, we've become a nation of invalids. First, we're so lazy we need blankets with sleeves. You know, your Snuggies and Slankets. Now, it's become too troublesome to tie a scarf. Introducing the NECKY! It looks like a giant ascot, only way dumber. And when you order, you'll get' [...]
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  Posted: December 16, 2009, 10:26am EST
  

• Daybreaker: We'd rather steal in SETX, than kill a cat in Kentucky

  For fits and giggles, let us juxtapose two very different crimes; both of which were adjudacted this week.A Kentucky man was sentenced to 12-years in prison for breaking into a former co-worker's home and killing her two cats. Russell Swigart, "who has a history of terrorizing women and killing or" [...]
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  Posted: December 16, 2009, 12:09am EST
  

• Wanna be famous? Beaumont native definitely knows the ropes

  Wanna be famous? This Saturday, someone we've never heard of before will give you pointers. All you need to do it pony up $75, bring a notebook and soak in the genius.Beaumont native Dorion Standberry (WHO?) will be giving the seminar at the LaQuinta Inn and Suites over on Walden.' [...]
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  Posted: December 15, 2009, 12:55pm EST
  

• Raisin' cash: Mack Brown is overpaid and it's our fault

  Unseemly.These folks have 6,000 years of education between 'em, and "unseemly" is the best the could could up with?The University of Texas Faculty Council passed a resolution yesterday criticizing the $5 million pay package for UT football coach Mack Brown as "unseemly and inappropriate." Brown, now the highest paid coach' [...]
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  Posted: December 15, 2009, 10:54am EST
  

• Daybreaker: Jefferson County plays a crappy game of "deal or no deal"

  If we ruled the world (and who's to say that isn't already true), we'd make politicians pass a law preventing themselves from making any real business decisions. No buying or selling. No wheeling or dealing. No contracts or agreements.Their one, and only, charge would be to attend various photo ops, [...]
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  Posted: December 15, 2009, 12:07am EST
  

• Bayou reader comment of the day: 'Tis the season for holiday vandalism

  How festive!From Bayou reader, "just wondering in Silsbee" (funny, we're always wondering about Silsbee, too):"[Did] anyone else had his/her car vandalized Saturday night around the mall? When we returned to our car from dinner at Logan's, we found deep cuts in the paint -- cuts that could not have been" [...]
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  Posted: December 14, 2009, 11:56am EST
  

• Daybreaker: When it absolutely, positively has to be there, avoid the Beaumont post office

  "Too bad we don't have any large boxes left. You'd really save yourself some money." That's what the customer service lady at the post office said to us this past weekend.Yeah, too bad. It's only Christmas time. The biggest mail day of the freakin' year is TODAY (look it up)' [...]
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  Posted: December 14, 2009, 12:23am EST
  

• SundayBreaker: It takes a few Canadians to point out the angriest Americans

  Everything is illuminated.Earlier this year, we ran into "Angry Annie" at a local grocery store. The incident turned a simple cart crash into an expletive filled Sunday morning wake-up call.We chalked it up to her having a bad night at the dog track, and called it a day.Not so. We [...]
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  Posted: December 13, 2009, 12:06am EST
  

• Daybreaker: Will a Texan win some bronze tonight?

  Someone is going to win themselves a big, bronze statue tonight.The award that goes to the best college football player in ALL the land will be bestowed this evening. An approporiatly named Texan, Colt McCoy, is one of 5 finalists for the coveted Heisman Trophy.The TeeVee presentation is a rather [...]
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  Posted: December 12, 2009, 12:02am EST
  

• Bayou pic of the day: Han seems wan

  A friend of the Bayou spotted this at a local Wal-Mart. We haven't shopped for action figures in a bit, but this Han Solo looks a bit, um, disinterested. Almost like he's ready to give Jabba the Hutt the business for mixing a stripped button down with an argyle tie.' [...]
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  Posted: December 11, 2009, 2:29pm EST
  

• Visit Houston! Holiday tourism tips from the Beaumont CVB

  We don't envy the Beaumont CVB.Selling Southeast Texas has got to be a doozy of a gig. Matter of fact, there might not be a more difficult job (they did rustle up a heckuva jingle, though).So this week, the Beaumont CVB had a little open house shindig down at their' [...]
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  Posted: December 11, 2009, 11:28am EST
  

• Daybreaker: The great Beaumont fitness explosion

  Great time to be outside, ain't it?Beaumont has done a fine job giving active citizens a place to commune with nature, without having to risk their lives dodging speeding cars. We learned this week that the hike & bike trail out near Keith Road might be getting a sibling.At Tuesday's [...]
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  Posted: December 11, 2009, 12:03am EST
  

• Bayou video of the day: TV dies so Saints can live

  Got 5-minutes you'll never want back? A fine example of Louisiana redneckery. We LOVE the helmet the guy sports towards the end of this testosterone fueled man-love fest.' [...]
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  Posted: December 10, 2009, 4:38pm EST
  

• Sign on: The holiday warz are on in Beaumont

  What do YOU say?[Eastex Freeway, Beaumont] [...]
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  Posted: December 10, 2009, 10:47am EST
  

• Daybreaker: Wanna open a restaurant? Southeast Texas is closed

  We Southeast Texans seem to be fighting economic progress with every fiber of our being. And for a community that loves to eat, we're apparently stuffed.Beaumont nixed plans to have a Jack-in-the-Box build a new location across from St. E's, next to a Dunkin' Donuts, 'cause a few folks got [...]
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  Posted: December 10, 2009, 12:03am EST
  

• Spirit of giving: East Texas man robs bank, gets caught giving it away

  Unlike the Swine Flu, the holiday spirit has infected us all.Our tale takes us to East Texas, where men are men and banks are robbed. Bryon Jacovin Garrett is such a thief. He was apprehended yesterday up in Nacogdoches for holding up the Walmart branch of Commercial Bank of Texas. [...]
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  Posted: December 09, 2009, 2:50pm EST
  

• Blowin' smoke: Texas shows poorly in protecting our most precious resource

  Here's smoke in your eyes, Texas.Our fine state, for the second consecutive year, ranks 46th in protecting children from tobacco. Kudos to all!"Texas currently spends $13.3 million a year on tobacco prevention and cessation programs, which is 5 percent of the $266.3 million recommended by the U.S. Centers for Disease" [...]
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  Posted: December 09, 2009, 1:23pm EST
  

• Take a whiff: The smell of manure in Port Arthur

  Same sh*t, different day.While the climate change folks are meeting out in Copenhagen, the air around here is filled with the smell of money. A few years back, we brought you news of Microgy Inc.'s Huckabay Ridge plant, that combined cow poop with grease in a fermentation process to create [...]
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  Posted: December 09, 2009, 11:01am EST
  

• Daybreaker: What's it's like at the Silsbee Pizza Hut

  As usual, our mind slipped into the gutter on this one. Who knew Pizza Hut had such a bawdy sense of humor.Is the guy in that photo winking? And why not. You just know they had a good time writing the box cover copy for this ad.From a Bayou operative [...]
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  Posted: December 09, 2009, 12:06am EST
  

• Bayou pic of the day: Gator's topless holiday revue

  So much email, most of it laden with swear words or angry insults. We'll put together a book one day. Until then, we thought we'd share.There must be another, more swingin' Gator out there, 'cause this is the 2nd time in the last few weeks we've received this email. We' [...]
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  Posted: December 08, 2009, 2:38pm EST
  

• Starbuck'd: Thieves drink for free at one Texas location

  We are a nation beholden to lawyers.These people, with their extra three-years of schooling, have got us by the netherparts. They rule over us through a system that -- in theory -- is there to protect. The reality: we can't sneeze without getting direct, written consent -- signed in triplicate' [...]
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  Posted: December 08, 2009, 10:21am EST
  

• Daybreaker: He's an Aggie, he'd just prefer not to live here

  We could use y'all as a sounding board.We're thinking about taking a new gig up in North Dakota. Don't shed a tear, we'll still be doing the blog. We won't be moving, of course. We'll just commute back-and-forth. This whole telecommuting thing is all the rage. Plus, Gators hate the [...]
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  Posted: December 08, 2009, 12:07am EST
  

• Oh baby: Beaumont couple "strolls" in and steals

  From the Bayou "Baby Talk" department:Apparently the old adage is true: the family that steals together, stays together.Beaumont cops are on the lookout for a couple who are using a baby to cover their shoplifting. A man was seen pushing a stroller around the mall and other local stores. While [...]
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  Posted: December 07, 2009, 11:16am EST
  

• Brilliant! Is H-Town one of the 10 smartest cities in the world?

  Strong infrastructure? Savvy urban planning? Sure y'all got the right Texas city?Forbes loves them some listicles. Their latest: top 10 smartest cities in the world.Heading the list is Singapore. Never been, but we're sure it's lovely (and WAY smart). As with all of these lists, Texas has a representative (but' [...]
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  Posted: December 07, 2009, 10:35am EST
  

• Daybreaker: Don't shoot your eye out, Beaumont

  Easily the best holiday ad you won't see on Southeast Texas television (not yet, anyway). We felt compelled to bring this to a wider audience (if you can call the 12 people that read the Bayou an "audience"). It's the good folks over at JJ's Pawn Shop on College, doing' [...]
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  Posted: December 07, 2009, 12:03am EST
  

• SundayBreaker: Our Southeast Texas Bigfoot goes on vacation

  It appears that Hardin County Bigfoot we all know and love has a thing for Tex-Mex. The Yeti/Sasquatch thing has been spotted in Bexar County, near San Antonio. The local NBC-affiliate is doggedly pursuing the paranormal scoop. The sightings have brought out the big guns, luring in members of the [...]
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  Posted: December 06, 2009, 12:10am EST
  

• Daybreaker: Don't mess with the "green" snow

  We call it a "grass gator." So much for the blizzard.THESE ARE ALSO LIGHT AND FLUFFYAlways be wary of creepy dudes "watching" cheerleader tryouts.Texas man learns an invaluable lesson: don't post your sex tapes on The Facebook.Talk about a great deal: Prostitutes in Copenhagen are offering complimentary "services" to climate' [...]
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  Posted: December 05, 2009, 12:05am EST
  

• The 1st Annual Bayou "Coughie" Award: Port Arthur should be SO proud

  Little white flakes may or may not fall from the heavens today. Love the whole "Chicken Little" thing going on here. Be sure to put the chains on your tires, buy 48 pounds of road salt and hunker down in your bomb shelter. The big 'un is a comin'.Hate to [...]
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  Posted: December 04, 2009, 12:59pm EST
  

• Bayou pic of the day: 25 reasons to LOVE Beaumont

  Wrong business. We're definitely in the wrong business. It's been confirmed. Here are the top 25 paid BISD employees, in all their glory.One reader thinks the publishing of this here list is "immoral." Perhaps they meant the sky high numbers.So this is obviously for last year (since Ortego is now' [...]
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  Posted: December 04, 2009, 11:46am EST
  

• Daybreaker: Beaumont man falls in the trash, and we end up with the bill

  It's like that scene in Star Wars, where Luke, Han, Chewbacca, and Princess Leia fall into a space-age trash compactor. As the walls start to slowly contract, Han turns to the rest of them and says, "One thing's for sure. We're all gonna be a lot thinner."Funny on screen, not' [...]
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  Posted: December 04, 2009, 12:06am EST
  

• Bayou pic of the day: Jesus laid an egg

  A couple in Burleson, just outside of Fort Worth, "believes God has given them a divine sign." Actually, he just answered the age-old question. You know, the one about the chicken or the egg. Based on this pic, we can now hazard a guess. [...]
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  Posted: December 03, 2009, 4:51pm EST
  

• Bayou holiday gift guide: Lap of American luxury

  We spent last Saturday -- like we do all weekends -- prostrate on the sofa, gazing slack-jawed at a 12-hour college football marathon. Don't judge.During a 3rd Quarter commercial break, we awoke from our stupor to behold a most splendiferous invention.Do you need a nacho "cozy?" A place to stow' [...]
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  Posted: December 03, 2009, 10:21am EST
  

• Daybreaker: Texas student punished for excessive exuberance

  This look like a gang sign to you?Maybe in a street gang run by "Chuckles the Clown." To administrators at the Northeast ISD (near San Antonio), that cheery looking student might be flashing street signs. For her "smiley" transgression, Charlie Patton is being punished by James Madison High School officials; [...]
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  Posted: December 03, 2009, 12:05am EST
  

• No wonder the Rockets suck! Former Houston baller admits to drinking while ballin'

  Our respect for NBA players continues to rise.Former Houston Rocket, Ron Artest, now admits that he used to drink cognac during halftime. You know, to take the edge off. Says the now-sober Artest:"I used to drink Hennessy ... at halftime," Artest said in an interview with The Sporting News, which [...]
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  Posted: December 02, 2009, 1:33pm EST
  

• Bayou joke of the day: So Two East Texans walk into a Louisiana Wal-Mart...

  There's a joke in there somewhere.If someone asked us to describe the prototypical East Texas crime, we'd be hard pressed to come up with a better example (minus the Meth) than this clusterfudge perpetrated by two sad sacks from Jasper. Although the stealing of that 10-ton oil pump was a' [...]
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  Posted: December 02, 2009, 11:37am EST
  

• Bayou pic of the day: Window dressing

  Bayou reader, Tom, sent this along. Looks like one Texan has it in the proper perspective. After last night's speech, this seems rather apropos.[Click to ENLARGE] [...]
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  Posted: December 02, 2009, 9:48am EST
  

• Daybreaker: Nick's back, and he might be running...again

  A Democrat has about as much chance at winning the Texas governor's race as a wheelchair-bound sex offender does of escaping from TDCJ custody (skip down towards the end of the article), so perhaps Nick Lampson is onto something.Our former Congressional representative (until Tom DeLay tweaked his cartography skills), Lampson [...]
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  Posted: December 02, 2009, 12:07am EST
  

• A laboratory of meat: Who needs pigs, when you've got a petri dish

  This is like something straight out of a science fiction film. Y'all know Soylent Green, which depicted a terrifying future for man and his foodstuffs. While this doesn't reduce us to disguised canniblism, the possibilities of this scientific development make us a bit queasy.Pig farms aren't popular down here in' [...]
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  Posted: December 01, 2009, 12:08pm EST
  

• Bayou pic of the day: A map of Jefferson County we should all see

  With the recent highly publicized issues over distribution here in Texas, these food stamp numbers are both stunning and sad. You can find the interactive map here, which details -- county by county -- the percentage of food stamp usage in America."A program once scorned as a failed welfare scheme" [...]
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  Posted: December 01, 2009, 10:41am EST
  

• Daybreaker: Ay Chihuahua! New puppies give Beaumont woman a reason to thwart gang

  Remember when Reader's Digest was popular? Neither do we.For the past week or so, we've been trying to hunt down a copy of this most elusive publication. We had no idea it'd be easier to spot Bigfoot reading a volume of Shakespeare's sonnets. Last week, we thought we'd found one.' [...]
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  Posted: December 01, 2009, 12:04am EST
  

• O say can you see: NBA player chooses to forgo National Anthem

  When we first heard this, we were reminded of that whole Vidor HS Pledge of Allegiance rigmarole.Bayou reader, Sneeky, enlightened us on the state of affairs in the NBA. We don't follow the league, so it was news to us that Portland Trailblazer Brandon Roy spends the beginning of each' [...]
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  Posted: November 30, 2009, 2:31pm EST
  

• Bayou holiday activity guide: Bowling just became a contact sport

  Holiday time means family time.A few weeks ago, we spent a few hours at a bowling alley. Good times, cheap beer, funny shoes -- what's not to like? Kids love bowling 'cause it gives them an excuse to knock things down. Adults like it, 'cause it gives us an excuse [...]
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  Posted: November 30, 2009, 11:13am EST
  

• Daybreaker: The NAACP doth protest too much, methinks

  Enjoy your long weekend? Glad to hear it.With news that a Hardin County Grand Jury has indicted two teens in the now year-old Silsbee Cheerleader case, it is back-to-business up north.The Jasper Chapter of the NAACP is organizing a mid-morning protest today at the Hardin County Courthouse. We wanted to [...]
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  Posted: November 30, 2009, 12:04am EST
  

• SundayBreaker: Americans didn't clean their plates this weekend

  Some things to reflect on as this glorious holiday weekend comes to a close.Contrary to what the media would have you believe, America is NOT the fattest nation in the world. American SAMOA is. While America is in the name, we do not take top honors. Actually, we're not even' [...]
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  Posted: November 29, 2009, 12:03am EST
  

• Daybreaker: Name that team...The Beaumont ???

  This much we already know: we're getting a new, semi-pro football team. They will play in an as yet-to-be determined facility located -- we suspect -- somewhere in the Golden Triangle.Who will be on the team? Who knows. Team colors? Can't help you. We do know two things: 1) They'll' [...]
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  Posted: November 28, 2009, 12:19am EST
  

• Daybreaker: "Pier" review coming to Rollover Pass

  With word from a Bayou reader that work on Texas 87 is finally complete (guess that pesky turtle finally took his act somewhere else), seems like this is as good a time as any to discuss the fate of Rollover Pass.Back in April, we posted about the Legislative debate to [...]
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  Posted: November 27, 2009, 12:06am EST
  

• Thanksgiving Daybreaker: Makin' pumpkin pie

  Just love the detail here. He's, naturally, reading a book about Texas. Got this image from three readers (h/t to Steve, Charles and C-Lo), so it MUST be funny. Right?From our dysfunctional family, to yours: Happy gobble, gobble![Click on pic to big it]TURKEYS IN THE NEWS THIS WEEKThings are tough' [...]
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  Posted: November 26, 2009, 12:12am EST
  

• BAYOU travel dispatch: You might be flyin' out of THE best airport in the land

  Y'all headin' out-of-town for Turkey Day? If so, hope you're travels take you through Houston. A remarkably non-scientific survey has ranked the largest metro airports from tops to nots.The best fly-zone in the land: Southeast Texas Regional! Alright, just joshin'. It's Houston's Bush International.A funny poll, since all airports -- [...]
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  Posted: November 25, 2009, 4:10pm EST
  

• A Bayou APB: Is the same middle-aged bald dude robbing every bank in Texas?

  Do we have to solve EVERY bank robbery in Texas?A Wells Fargo branch in Austin was hit today by a man "described as white or Hispanic, about 30 years old, 6 feet tall with a medium to heavy build, clean shaven with short dark hair."Hmm...Where have we seen that description [...]
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  Posted: November 25, 2009, 12:35pm EST
  

• When pigs fly: The Bayou Great Meat Toss of Aught Nine

  The Lady of Lard; The Grande Dame of Southern cuisine -- Paula Deen -- had a most unfortunate close encounter of the "swine" kind.Yesterday, while helping to unload Thanksgiving fixins' at an Atlanta-area food bank, Deen took a flying ham right in the ol' kisser. Reminds us of the time [...]
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  Posted: November 25, 2009, 11:34am EST
  

• Daybreaker: Forget Christmas, there's a war brewing over Black Friday

  Conn's has a great sense of timing. The Beaumont retailer came to terms with the Texas AG over a slew of allegations, including failing to honor product warranties, misleading customers about the nature of its products, false advertising and other violations of the Texas Deceptive Trade Practices Act.Nothing a $4.5 [...]
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  Posted: November 25, 2009, 12:05am EST
  

• The Beaumont dental thief speaks: And she is sad...real sad

  From the BAYOU "Captain Obvious" department:We give you this scintillating headline from the clever editors at the Dallas Morning News:"Cristal Taylor would rather be married to Dirk Nowitzki than in prison."Really? Perhaps next they'll tell us that Thanksgiving is Thursday. Simply revelatory! Anyway, the woman who -- figuratively of course' [...]
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  Posted: November 24, 2009, 12:31pm EST
  

• Zilch: What do we really know about the BISD shooting?

  A few disclaimers: this is not an indictment of Don Gordon, a 24-year veteran of the BPD now serving as a BISD cop. Gordon, by all measure, is an honorable man who served the citizens of Beaumont with distinction. This is also not about race or any other lazy label. [...]
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  Posted: November 24, 2009, 11:16am EST
  

• Daybreaker: Be thankful, Beaumont just got a little safer

  Feel that? It's safety.Every year 'round turkey day, the CQ Press releases its mammoth "safe cities" list. This way, you can give thanks if your town rates OR you can pray like the Dickens in the event you live in little Cambodia.The methodology is straight forward, take all the major' [...]
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  Posted: November 24, 2009, 12:06am EST
  

• Lost and Found: Dear ol' dad was a serial killer?

  From the BAYOU "Things to be Thankful For" department:Think your life sucks? Try this guy's life on for size.Matthew Roberts, a DJ living in Los Angeles, was adopted. Like many, he was curious about his biological parents. Who were they? What did they look like? Did he share any family [...]
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  Posted: November 23, 2009, 2:20pm EST
  

• Hot for "substitute" teacher: Should Texas districts outsource?

  Y'all are a well informed bunch, so you obviously heard about the BISD substitute that was arrested for drug possession "consistent with distribution." Obviously, substitute teaching doesn't pay the big bucks.But consulting does.Over in La Marque, they're working to raise the standards of their fill-in teachers. Instead of doing all' [...]
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  Posted: November 23, 2009, 11:47am EST
  

• Daybreaker: Should a 15-year-old Port Arthur kid be tried as an adult?

  Maybe it's the holiday season talking; what with all this supposed good cheer going around. Perhaps it's because so many recent Southeast Texas kid touchers have received such relatively light sentences, but this one bothers us.It's the recent news that 15-year-old Da'Quan O'Neal Zeno will be tried as an adult.Zeno [...]
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  Posted: November 23, 2009, 12:36am EST
  

• Bayou pic of the weekend: The Great State of "Taxes"

  Made in America? Hope not. [Thanks RJ!] [...]
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  Posted: November 22, 2009, 4:18am EST
  

• Daybreaker: Eat, be merry and drink...and drink

  With the "official" start to the holiday season just a few days away, we have but one suggestion: DRINK!Drink as much as you can. Funnel, keg stand, shotgun; do whatever it takes. Raise a glass or twelve at this festive time of year. It's good for you. Really, it is. [...]
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  Posted: November 21, 2009, 12:06am EST
  

• Let her eat cake: George Forman's kid blames Texas car accident on dessert

  From the BAYOU "sugar rush" department:It's true! All of George Foreman's kids are named George. And if the actions of one are any indication, he better start sellin' more of those cheap-o grills.One of his daughters, Freeda George Foreman, spent the early morning hours of Halloween night crashing her car' [...]
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  Posted: November 20, 2009, 2:47pm EST
  

• Bayou video of the day: More SETX UFO shenanigans

  In recent weeks, Friday has become the day we typically bring you some Texas "tales from beyond." We've never had the honor of a close encounter, but extra-terrestrials must be a lot like Lindsay Lohan: they both love the camera (and are unnaturally skinny).Perhaps we should spend more time out' [...]
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  Posted: November 20, 2009, 9:57am EST
  

• Daybreaker: PILLOW FIGHT! Did you see the big "Doc" Thomas interview?

  Last time Carrol Thomas sat down with the press, it was like a commercial for the mutual admiration society.On Wednesday, we were hoping for some change as "Doc" Thomas sat down for a much hyped one-on-one interview with FOX4. Sadly, the mano-a-mano between Thomas and Angel San Juan was like [...]
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  Posted: November 20, 2009, 12:09am EST
  

• Skin deep: More Texas school fashion fun

  Texas must lead the nation in school dress code violations. Another week, another scholastic fashion faux-pas. This time, a middle school student at the Mesquite ISD was sent home for wearing "skinny jeans."Seth Chamlee was given a choice: go home or change into pre-approved, regulation slacks (by the way, we [...]
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  Posted: November 19, 2009, 3:07pm EST
  

• Slip slidin' away: It's raining lawsuits at area Wal-Marts

  We think by now, we can make an unassailable assumption: local Wal-Mart stores can kill you.The proof is in the curiously large number of lawsuits filed against the retailer. And we're not just talking about one particular store, it's all of 'em.Just this week, we've got two more Wal-Mart personal' [...]
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  Posted: November 19, 2009, 11:26am EST
  

• Daybreaker: Till death do us part? In Texas, that may be sooner then you think

  The $8,000 you plunked down on a rubber chicken dinner and egocentric DJ might have all been for naught.Think you're married? Think again.A Houston lawyer says that a clause in a 2005 constitutional amendment, designed to ban gay marriages, actually nullifies ALL of 'em (even yours)."The amendment, approved by the" [...]
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  Posted: November 19, 2009, 12:04am EST
  

• Man maids: Ike gives one Texan some naked inspiration

  Leave it to an entrepreneurial Texan to come up with a new twist on an old profession. An idea, he says, that was born out of the path of destruction waged by Hurricane Ike. How he arrived at this conclusion is beyond us.Would you be interested in having a man [...]
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  Posted: November 18, 2009, 1:16pm EST
  

• After further "review": BPD offers a solution that doesn't really solve anything

  After roughing up Derrick Newman, the Beaumont PD still has an image problem. The not-so happy ending of the massage parlor sex sting doesn't help either.To that end, Chief Coffin met with the Beaumont City Council to revisit the idea of creating a citizens' review board -- an entity that [...]
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  Posted: November 18, 2009, 10:28am EST
  

• Daybreaker: Snuggies get personal in Nederland

  Have we got the perfect holiday gift suggestion for you: a Snuggie! You know, the fleece blanket with sleeves. Everyone with any sense of style is wearing 'em. They look like cheap Gregorian robes. They keep you warm, while allowing you to still operate heavy machinery.Oh how clever!We've written about [...]
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  Posted: November 18, 2009, 12:08am EST
  

• 'Tis the season for giving thanks: Remember World Toilet Day

  Years ago, we had a friend who was looking for a home out in the San Francisco Bay Area. He was floored by the prices, and mentioned that he had looked at a $700K house that had -- get this -- 3 bedrooms and no bathrooms.Guess those are extra in [...]
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  Posted: November 17, 2009, 2:31pm EST
  

• Happy, Merry and all that: Is hatin' Christmas a "Hate Crime?"

  Folks used to wait until after Thanksgiving. Now, it's a race to see who can get 'em up first. We're talking about holiday decorations.In a non-scientific drive around our 'hood this past weekend, we spotted several gingerbread men (those on the left are way creepy), candy canes and photogasmic holiday' [...]
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  Posted: November 17, 2009, 10:58am EST
  

• Daybreaker: What's goin' on in Buna?

  Is there anything bigger than Southeast Texas playoff football? Not much. So when Buna suits up to battle Newton this Friday, it should be your typical mid-November frenzy. With one exception: allegations of assault have surfaced against two Buna players.According to KBMT-TV reports:"Two members of the Buna High School Cougar" [...]
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  Posted: November 17, 2009, 12:05am EST
  

• Bayou pic of the day: King Jim

  Coming to a local parade/event near you. Every "king" needs a Lion King throne. We guess. This is local radio jock and TV host, Jim King, taking his name way too literally. This pic -- which was sent in an email labeled "highly important" -- came with the following description: [...]
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  Posted: November 16, 2009, 11:05am EST
  

• Daybreaker: BISD administrator harnesses the power of email

  The BISD had a rough week; nothing new there.What is relatively new is the spunk on display from a member of the BISD administration. In response to an unflattering story in this week's Examiner, BISD spokeswoman and special assistant to the Superintendent, Jessie Haynes, decided enough was enough.She penned a [...]
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  Posted: November 16, 2009, 12:03am EST
  

• Bayou pic of the weekend: Nosy neighbor

  (Thanks Charles) [...]
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  Posted: November 15, 2009, 12:33am EST
  

• Bayou video of the day: Remember that waterlogged Bugatti? Here's video of the crash

  Where's the pelican? This is video of that hapless Bugatti, crashing into a saltwater lagoon. It looks genuine, although capturing this on film required an amazing degree of cosmic confluence. That's $2 million in high-end automotive engineering splashing into the drink.The Lufkin man who owned this car, Andy House, owns [...]
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  Posted: November 14, 2009, 12:01am EST
  

• It "fingers": The Beaumont "blinker police"

  From the BAYOU "Cease and Desist" department:Have you seen these people?We'll set the scene: A friend of ours is driving today over in Beaumont's west side; down Folsom, towards Dowlen. He slides into another lane, without using his turn signal. Actually, he tells us he never signals. That's just how' [...]
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  Posted: November 13, 2009, 12:09pm EST
  

• Holy hooters! Would you fake cancer for a free boob job?

  Yesterday, we learned from former Miss California, Carrie Prejean, that the Bible is just fine with breast implants.We'll add a Texas twist to this whole augmentation thing. We're wondering if the Good Book is copacetic with faking a serious health issue to collect donations in an effort to purchase said [...]
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  Posted: November 13, 2009, 10:21am EST
  

• The Bayou Question of the Day: BISD Board member asks, "what are we doing here?"

  It never stops.A few weeks back, we opined that the BISD Board has finally grown some stones when they rejected a few of "Doc" Thomas's personnel suggestions. Who were they? At the time, no one knew. It was a closed session. Those names are now out."At the October board meeting," [...]
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  Posted: November 13, 2009, 9:07am EST
  

• Daybreaker: Hope our refiners can handle cow crap

  We should just make the transition today.Dump oil and move towards cow sh!t. That's what some dairies out in California are doing, capturing the methane in cow manure and using it as an alternative energy source. Why not? A farm out in Bakersfield has 2,600 cows producing about 130 tons' [...]
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  Posted: November 13, 2009, 12:16am EST
  

• Our loss? Bob Knight's Beaumont appearance can kiss our a**

  We were so looking forward to hearing legendary coach, Bob Knight, yell at an audience for an hour. Unfortunately, like many things 'round here, the event has been "postponed."According to the SETX Mavericks, the timing just wasn't right so they've cancelled his scheduled November 16th appearance."There were several things conflicting'" [...]
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  Posted: November 12, 2009, 2:46pm EST
  

• We'll take word association for $1000: Lufkin, $2 million car, pelican, lagoon

  What is completely unbelievable that without video we'd never believe it?God bless the dude who snapped this footage.This a sentence we never imagined we'd pen: A man from Lufkin drove his $2 million Bugatti Veyron into a saltwater lagoon outside Galveston after saying he was distracted by a pelican.The pelican/lagoon [...]
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  Posted: November 12, 2009, 10:55am EST
  

• We don't: The city of Beaumont is a crappy wedding planner

  What happens when you expect the City of Beaumont to double as your wedding planner?Your glorious reception gets swallowed up by Glenn Beck acolytes, holding a rally to protest the socialization of Beck's now defunct appendix.Patricia Sam, and her betrothed, had plans for a spectacular Fall wedding at Roger's Park. [...]
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  Posted: November 12, 2009, 9:37am EST
  

• Daybreaker: Does the latest BISD mess brings us some answers?

  Another week, another BISD clusterfudge. This time, allegations that the electrical contractor hired by the district to work at several temporary campuses falsified his application for a master electrician's license."The Texas Department of Licensing and Regulation found that Calvin Walker, owner of Walker's Electric Co. in Beaumont, falsified a portion" [...]
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  Posted: November 12, 2009, 12:06am EST
  

• Vacancy: Jefferson County underperforms in the crime department

  Anyone in the market for a jail? Jefferson County's economic health is at stake.Alright, perhaps that's a teensy exaggeration. Still, we could use the money. This past summer, there were rumblings of a prisoner transfer agreement between Harris and Jefferson County. We had the space in the 400-bed downtown facility, [...]
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  Posted: November 11, 2009, 3:02pm EST
  

• Bayou pic of the day: Bathroom break in Jasper

  When nature calls... Spotted at the Jasper County Junior Livestock Arena; even a Gator needs a little bathroom time.[Photo by Steve W Stewart, KJAS] [...]
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  Posted: November 11, 2009, 12:15pm EST
  

• We've replaced your heart doctor with a fast food chain: Let's see if people notice the difference

  From the BAYOU "urban renewal" department:Southeast Texas Cardiology Associates is moving. Their former digs, on 11th and North Street in Beaumont, are being vacated. Who will replace these dogged heart docs? In an irony too rich for our blood, fast food chain -- Jack-in-the-Box -- has proposed a restaurant in [...]
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  Posted: November 11, 2009, 10:39am EST
  

• Daybreaker: If you build it in Beaumont, will former NFL players come?

  There are some abject truisms about life in Southeast Texas: the bugs are big, the weather is hot and football is life (just ask PN-G fan).Decades ago, Southeast Texas was a football mecca. The yellowed copies of old newspapers are littered with names of high school stars who would later [...]
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  Posted: November 11, 2009, 12:04am EST
  

• Gut bustin': What do the Japanese and a Texas rep. have in common?

  Rep. Pete Sessions does a fine job of routinely making himself look like a tool, but he outdid himself last Friday. In a House Rules Committee meeting, Sessions defended the practice of insurance companies discriminating against women by comparing gender differences to smokers and non-smokers.Which is funny (sad, not ha-ha), [...]
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  Posted: November 10, 2009, 12:44pm EST
  

• Bayou pic of the day: Adventures in local advertising

  From today's Enterprise. Much like the actions that created the kid, would you consider this an impulse purchase OR is this a holiday gift for that special someone? [...]
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  Posted: November 10, 2009, 10:54am EST
  

• Daybreaker: Soccer hooligans! Punching on the pitch up in East Texas

  Texas cheerleaders have been doing this kind of thing for years. We refer, of course, to hazing; like that incident that occurred up in Katy last year.Back in 2003, an Illinois girls football initiation sent five girls to the hospital, one with a pig intestine around her neck. Gross, but [...]
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  Posted: November 10, 2009, 12:04am EST