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In Theory

  • Freedom ain’t free

    (A copy of) The Magna Carta is for sale - estimated auction price of $20-30 million.

    Take note, recently married - paper is the traditional gift for a first wedding anniversary.

    Take note, political strategists - I’m sure there’s an easy segue from this event to a criticism of activist judges [...]

    Posted: December 08, 2007, 3:51am EST
    by JUnderstudy
  • Listen, but don’t look

    M.I.A.’s Kala is the best new album I’ve heard this year. I didn’t include a link just then because I wanted to pass along a seizure warning first.

    Like a live Magic Eye poster.

    [...]
    Posted: December 08, 2007, 1:19am EST
    by JUnderstudy
  • Copperfielded

    Number of comments: 1

    It’s all gone.

    Don’t ask me how, because I don’t know - neither does my host.

    I have a really old backup, but I saw little point in having a half-assed archive.

    Take 2 in progress.

    [...]
    Posted: December 02, 2007, 2:40am EST
    by JUnderstudy
  • Almost home

    Number of comments: 3

    The outside construction is done. The walls are painted. The bedrooms are carpeted.

    This weekend the rest of the house gets laminate flooring. And as long as house gets approved for occupancy, the moving begins again.

    Hopefully in no more than two weeks, I have my own home again. And hopefully then [...]

    Posted: August 02, 2007, 12:53am EDT
    by Joel
  • Age defying

    Number of comments: 5

    I know it’s not uncommon for anyone to forget how old they are.

    I’m wondering however how common it is for someone to be certain of their age, only to eventually realize they’re wrong, and wrong on the side of being older to boot.

    On two occasions before my birthday two weeks [...]

    Posted: June 19, 2007, 1:23am EDT
    by Joel
  • Lowered expectations

    Number of comments: 1

    David Beckham has played his last game for Real Madrid. That means he’s headed to the Los Angeles Galaxy of Major League Soccer to see what he can do for US professional soccer.

    At best: There will be some buzz - ESPN may even air and advertise his first game. [...]

    Posted: June 19, 2007, 12:43am EDT
    by Joel
  • But are two necks better?

    The Volkswagen Eos seems to be a reborn Cabriolet, a classic example of what some refer to as a chick car. VW apparently has no problem with that gender specificity - they’ve created an Eos Boutique featuring mostly women’s fashion by several designers.

    There’s a slip-on sandal (don’t quote me [...]

    Posted: June 19, 2007, 12:17am EDT
    by Joel
  • Too much funny

    Say what you will about the selective moralizing of the Motion Picture Association of America and their ratings system; but sometimes their density is every bit as entertaining as the films.

    The Simpsons Movie has a rating:

    Rated PG-13 for irreverent humor throughout

    That’s going to help out the parents. I [...]

    Posted: June 15, 2007, 8:12pm EDT
    by Joel
  • More compensation, less drunk guys

    Number of comments: 4

    Forbes suggests 11 ways to fix air travel. I’m not sure why the deviated from the standard 10-part list, particularly since one idea isn’t all that sound:

    Ban carry-on luggage except for laptops, coats and purses, speeding aircraft boarding.

    That just means longer delays as irate passengers argue with gate staff [...]

    Posted: June 15, 2007, 12:41am EDT
    by Joel
  • It’s just a test

    Number of comments: 1

    Education roundup:

    A boy in Riverview gets a perfect score on standardized FCAT.

    A 73-year old Indian man fails high school exams for 38th time.

    Clearly the Riverview boy has a tutoring opportunity. Or he could do some proofreading for this school.

    Sutpid

    [...]
    Posted: June 15, 2007, 12:22am EDT
    by Joel
  • Mercy

    Posted: June 15, 2007, 12:06am EDT
    by Joel
  • Starting to show

    I’m not sure I would have fit in all that well during the Renaissance, but I do take a certain amount of pride in keeping a variety of hobbies and interests. Ask any number of friends of acquaintances what my Thing is, and you’ll get several different responses: the Music [...]

    Posted: June 14, 2007, 11:51pm EDT
    by Joel
  • A horse is a course, unless of course

    Number of comments: 1

    It’s a black mark on the community. It’s a stigma. DeKalb is a lovely community. It’s horrible they’ve been stigmatized by this nasty industry.

    That’s one Gail Vacca (cow?), referring to DeKalb, Illinois’ cigarette factory nuclear plant numerous meth labs friggin’ horse slaughterhouse.

    Julie Kiefer-Bell says she loves horses after growing [...]

    Posted: June 14, 2007, 12:03am EDT
    by Joel
  • Wilson Alvarez for President

    Remember former Devil Rays owner Vince Naimoli? Remember how, on the rare occasion that he opened up the checkbook at all for roster moves, he’d spend on players considered washed-up by most everyone else in the Majors?

    Sure you do.

    According to the fun, interactive FEC website (I found it at [...]

    Posted: June 13, 2007, 8:28pm EDT
    by Joel
  • Aww Canada

    Number of comments: 1

    I mean, it’s not just the Ducks; it’s the Lightning and the Hurricanes, too.

    They better hope hockey doesn’t catch on in Puerto Rico after that exhibition game. Otherwise, I’m calling the San Juan Jibaros over the Canucks in six. Scott Niedermayer wins the Conn Smythe again.

    [...]
    Posted: June 07, 2007, 1:31am EDT
    by Joel
  • Not yet caught, but about those hands

    I didn’t drive on the Miramar Parkway at any point during my Miami vacation, and I’ve been back in Tampa since Tuesday night.

    That means I missed out on a chance Wednesday to witness the work of certain Darwin Award nominees for 2007:

    Wilkins Pujols couldn’t believe what he was seeing.

    As [...]

    Posted: June 07, 2007, 1:17am EDT
    by Joel
  • One-stop shopping

    After this trip to Miami, my third and longest since my family moved from there when I was 13, I am left with much the same opinion I’ve related to others who’ve never been to the city: terrific place to vacation, but I wouldn’t recommend living there.

    I was forced [...]

    Posted: June 07, 2007, 1:02am EDT
    by Joel
  • Few reasons to celebrate

    Number of comments: 3

    Not that I’ve ever needed a reason for a posting lapse, but I see little reason to drag the heavy laptop with flunky L and O keys to Miami with me.

    That means nothing until at least Tuesday, which also happens to be my 27th birthday.

    So I’ll leave you with [...]

    Posted: June 01, 2007, 2:24am EDT
    by Joel
  • Fun with a fuel calculator

    Number of comments: 1

    AAA has a handy fuel cost calculator for your next road trip - simply provide your to and from, plus the year, make and model of your car, and the calculator will approximate your gas costs for the trip based on current fuel costs.

    Our road trip to Miami tomorrow [...]

    Posted: June 01, 2007, 1:50am EDT
    by Joel
  • See it again…

    Number of comments: 1

    Playing tour guide to a new visitor in your hometown is usually a disorienting experience; you suddenly discover that a familiar place is far bigger and more foreign than you thought. It’s sometimes a good disorientation, like finally eating at that restaurant you passed countless times but never visited; or [...]

    Posted: June 01, 2007, 1:27am EDT
    by Joel
  • No love, American style

    A tourism-related poll released last year:

    the United States was named the most unstylish…

    This year?

    Britain was second in the worst-dressed tourist table which was headed by the Americans

    Is it the T-shirts? The Crocs?

    Overall, European hoteliers found Americans to be the third-best tourists, behind only the Japanese and Swiss. [...]

    Posted: May 24, 2007, 12:51am EDT
    by Joel
  • But ain’t we got fish fries

    Number of comments: 3

    John Prine and Iris Dement detail their globe-trotting love affair in Rome, Athens and Paris before proclaiming the title of the song, “(We’re Not) The Jet Set” (song originally written by Bobby Braddock, born about a half-hour from here in Lakeland, FL, and performed by George Jones and Tammy [...]

    Posted: May 24, 2007, 12:10am EDT
    by Joel
  • AOTW - In Spite of Ourselves

    inspiteofourselvesjohnprine.jpg

    A cover album both you and the artist deserve

    Duet and cover albums normally come during the twilight of an artist’s career; depending on your opinion, they’re either a way to pay tribute to important influences or to cash in without having to work very hard. I’m not [...]

    Posted: May 23, 2007, 1:47am EDT
    by Joel
  • Anything you can do, part 2

    Inspired by the always game dustbury.com, some more battle of the bands’ covers:

    “(What’s So Funny ‘Bout) Peace, Love and Understanding” - Brinsley Schwarz v. Elvis Costello: Nick Lowe first recorded his song when he was a member of the pub-rock Brinsley Schwartz; the recording frankly sounds a bit phoned-in, [...]

    Posted: May 23, 2007, 1:24am EDT
    by Joel
  • How low can you go?

    Number of comments: 1

    Stylus picks the 50 best bass lines of all time. I’m not impressed (save maybe the Gang of Four mention).

    I say just listen to the Beatles’ Revolver (plus “Paperback Writer”), Talking Heads’ Remain in Light, Rancid’s … And Out Come the Wolves, or if you’re feeling [...]

    Posted: May 23, 2007, 12:41am EDT
    by Joel
  • Things to do in first class when you’re dead

    When is flying with a quiet passenger seated next to you not a good thing?

    A BRITISH Airways passenger travelling first class has described how he woke up on a long-haul flight to find that cabin crew had placed a corpse in his row.

    The body of a woman in her [...]

    Posted: May 20, 2007, 12:57pm EDT
    by Joel
  • For a good time, drive

    A-rockin'

    I.D. asked six designers specializing in erotically-charged work to design the ideal setting for losing one’s virginity.

    James Victore chose a ‘55 Chevrolet Bel Air with “spacious bench seats and Marvin Gaye or Meatloaf on the radio,” he says. “Growing up in upstate New York, this [...]

    Posted: May 19, 2007, 11:26am EDT
    by Joel
  • Anything you can do

    Number of comments: 1

    You will not find Robert Gordon’s version of Marshall Crenshaw’s “Someday, Someway” in the Onion’s list of 14 cover songs that are better than the originals, and for good reason. And though Crenshaw’s version did outperform Gordon’s on the Billboard 100, Gordon did still score a hit with an [...]

    Posted: May 19, 2007, 1:41am EDT
    by Joel
  • Cool ideas for Dobson

    With the passing of Jerry Falwell, James Dobson is arguably America’s leading separation smashing, mondo moralizing pulpit politician (Pat Robertson is too busy making shakes and taking names).

    It didn’t take Dobson long to make news, stating that he’d sooner vote for an also-ran or not vote at all [...]

    Posted: May 18, 2007, 11:55pm EDT
    by Joel
  • Does he have his own hat?

    I know what you’re thinking:

    Who is Florida’s funniest CPA?

    If we’re to believe the Florida Institute of Certified Public Accountants - and why wouldn’t we? - look no further than Frank Page, aka DebitMan.

    Don't let accounting happen to you.

    He takes the stage and proclaims himself the “Champion [...]

    Posted: May 18, 2007, 1:51am EDT
    by Joel
  • A taste of the 80s

    Though the sound on Marshall Crenshaw is decidedly 50s-60s, the album was a product of the 1980s.

    For the sake of perspective: when Marshall Crenshaw was released on April 28, 1982, the #1 song in the US was Joan Jett’s “I Love Rock ‘n’ Roll;” the following week its seven-week [...]

    Posted: May 18, 2007, 12:34am EDT
    by Joel
  • Media fast redux

    Number of comments: 2

    About 14 months ago the wife and I took our almost-annual vacation in Venice.

    I just got back from what was likely to be our only vacation this year - in Northwest Tampa, house-sitting for friends (such is the skewed perspective of my post-near-fire, living-with-my-in-laws existence that the house-sitting was [...]

    Posted: May 18, 2007, 12:13am EDT
    by Joel
  • The last paintballer

    Number of comments: 2

    A user comment on Amazon.com regarding the Tactical SWAT Vest with pistol holder:

    If your into paintball you most have the right gear to be with the Big Boys and the Tactical SWAT Vest you most have. I get everyones attention when I have the vest on and useful too. [...]

    Posted: May 03, 2007, 1:11am EDT
    by Joel
  • And Bryan Brown will be our co-pilot

    Can I get you a flotation device?

    Freshly removed from bankruptcy, Delta Airlines is wasting no time in finding their niche.

    And here it is:

    The Gerber Group introduces a signature cocktail line available on board all domestic and international Delta mainline flights, select Delta Connection(r) carrier flights [...]

    Posted: May 02, 2007, 12:28am EDT
    by Joel
  • Some girls, sometimes

    In their song “Girls,” the Beastie Boys fill us in on precisely when all they really want is girls:

    And in the morning it’s girls
    Cause in the evening it’s girls

    In his song “Girls…” Marshall Crenshaw helps fill in the gaps a bit:

    Girls girls girls
    When I’m walking downtown on a [...]

    Posted: May 02, 2007, 12:03am EDT
    by Joel
  • AOTW - Marshall Crenshaw

    Number of comments: 1

    Marshall Crenshwa S/T

    Summery

    I’ve heard it said that chili is strictly a summer food, a sentiment I have no use for - there’s never a wrong time for chili. There’s also never a wrong time for Marshall Crenshaw’s self-titled 1982 album; nevertheless there is something about the [...]

    Posted: April 30, 2007, 12:36am EDT
    by Joel
  • Underdogs of Nipomo

    The lyrics to “Underdogs of Nipomo” - particularly the one about the quarters at the arcade - lead me to believe that the song has very little to do with the Great Depression. Since Archers of Loaf were from Chapel Hill, NC, there’s a possibility that they weren’t meaning to [...]

    Posted: April 30, 2007, 12:03am EDT
    by Joel
  • One in every family

    Mitt Romney’s campaign blog is titled Five Brothers. No, Mitt isn’t (necessarily) a fan of Bertolli Italian food products; the blog is named for Romney’s five sons who (supposedly) write all the posts.

    Immediately one question comes to mind: which of the five Junior Mitts is most likely destined [...]

    Posted: April 29, 2007, 11:53pm EDT
    by Joel
  • Please tell

    Search term that brought one particular reader from Google to this site (this post, specifically):

    percentage of gay driving pt cruisers

    If they were referring to the drivers, I know two PT Cruiser owners including myself - both owners are straight. I’m pretty sure however that a two-person sampling would not [...]

    Posted: April 29, 2007, 10:47pm EDT
    by Joel
  • Mock draft scores - that’s why they call them experts

    Trying to decide which NFL draft expert to listen to next year? Here are results for some of the experts, plus In Theory’s own random efforts:

    Posted: April 29, 2007, 10:40pm EDT
    by Joel
  • Secondhand freespace

    [www.youtube.com]

    Video of “Underachievers March and Fight Song” by Archers of Loaf. They really blew the budget on that exploding people effect.

    This one’s directed by Norwood Cheek, whose credits include guest voice in two episodes of King of the Hill.

    There’s no way Hank Hill likes Archers of Loaf.

    [...]
    Posted: April 26, 2007, 12:00pm EDT
    by Joel
  • A politician’s life for me, part 1

    Number of comments: 1

    How did John McCain celebrate the official announcement of his presidential candidacy?

    Judge for yourself:

    John McCain spent most of the night in the back of the plane talking with all the “jerks” (as he jokingly calls both the press and staff). He said he enjoying hanging out with all the [...]

    Posted: April 26, 2007, 12:02am EDT
    by Joel
  • Tiered random mock draft

    Number of comments: 1

    The names of the top 32 ranked players available in the NFL draft (according to Scouts, Inc.) are grouped into eight tiers of four. I throw the first four names into a hat, then select the first four picks. I throw the second tier of names into a hat, [...]

    Posted: April 25, 2007, 10:19pm EDT
    by Joel
  • Completely random mock draft

    Number of comments: 2

    The names of the top 32 ranked players available in the NFL draft (according to Scouts, Inc.) are thrown into a hat. In order from picks 1-32, I pick a name out of a hat.

    And thus my completely random mock draft (see original post for premise). We’ll see [...]

    Posted: April 25, 2007, 10:19pm EDT
    by Joel
  • Hat v. NFL draft experts

    Number of comments: 3

    Mel Kiper Jr. is considered an NFL draft expert. There’s a good chance that, for reasons follicular, Kiper Jr. cannot wear a hat.

    From these pointless facts, and my mock draft fatigue, springs my experiment: can a hat create a more accurate mock draft than Mel Kiper Jr. (and other “draft [...]

    Posted: April 25, 2007, 10:19pm EDT
    by Joel
  • Seriously, why are you here?

    Does this mean the singing career is stalled?

    Republican John McCain officially entered the 2008 presidential race Wednesday, stressing his experience honed in war and Washington as he sought to revive his struggling campaign.

    Experience, I say:

    I’m not the youngest candidate. But I am the most experienced.

    I know how to fight and [...]

    Posted: April 25, 2007, 1:50pm EDT
    by Joel
  • Tubing with the candidates

    Number of comments: 1

    With some online-only Presidential debates coming in 2008, Ars Technica’s Jacqui Cheng’s question: will it matter?

    My question: Is it too late for Ted Stevens to declare his candidacy?

    Ted’s question: Which tube do I speak into?

    Cheng does question whether this thing would miss the point:

    What would make the presidential debates [...]

    Posted: April 24, 2007, 12:41am EDT
    by Joel
  • Book me, Dano

    The Dewey Decimal Classification subcategory for criminology is 364.

    My local library didn’t have any standard editions of the book I was hoping to check out. Rather than choose another book, my near-sighted self picked the large-print edition instead.

    Now I feel guilty, like an able-bodied person parking in a handicapped [...]

    Posted: April 24, 2007, 12:38am EDT
    by Joel
  • We want waste

    [www.youtube.com]

    Video of “Harnessed in Slums” by Archers of Loaf. You wish your local bingo hall was this much fun.

    The video was directed by Grady Cooper, whose credits also include editing on “Survivor.” The connection from Archers to Rob Burnett took far less time than I thought.

    [...]
    Posted: April 24, 2007, 12:08am EDT
    by Joel
  • How to cram an airplane

    First it was the SRO idea; now airplane designers are kicking around the idea of backward seating to gain space.

    I say you can solve both the issues of space as well as seats that never recline enough by looking to hotels.

    People automat

    Capsule hotels, anyway.

    I’m actually [...]

    Posted: April 23, 2007, 1:16am EDT
    by Joel

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