iowas newz liter

• Lawyer Jokes?

  
  With two trial lawyers teaming up to tour
  
  Conlin/Braley schedule roundtable press events
  
  I thought it an appropriate time for some lawyer jokes and the scientific community is united in that fact.
  
  How do you get [...]
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  Posted: November 30, 2009, 5:34am EST
  

• I Yay Yay

  
  At the bottom of this Ragister report
  
  Iowa Lottery: Sales up, profits down
  
  The Iowa Legislative Services Bureau reports that Iowa casino tax revenue growth has been negative for eight consecutive months.
  
  For the past 12 months, Iowa casino [...]
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  Posted: November 30, 2009, 4:41am EST
  

• Alms For Iowa

  
  It looks like the Big Lug Nut is going to need to use his stein as a tip jar...
  
  Iowa faces largest budget gap in state history
  
  A projected shortfall of $1.07 billion!
  
  What's the BLN's reaction?
  
  His spokeswienee [...]
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  Posted: November 28, 2009, 4:53am EST
  

• Oy Vey

  
  Chris and I caught a P.S.A. while watching CBS comedies.
  
  "Want do something special for your woman this Hanukkah?
  
  Schedule her pap smear.
  
  Just a schmear could save her life.
  
  Give the gift that will light up her mennorrah."
  
  [...]
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  Posted: November 27, 2009, 3:06am EST
  

• Guess Who's Coming To Dinner

  
  The Secret Service is coming under fire, as is the White House Social Office, because of the couple who "crashed" Obama's first state dinner for Indian Prime Minister Manmohan Singh.
  
  The really weird part is that they let Joe Biden [...]
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  Posted: November 27, 2009, 2:31am EST
  

• Thanksgiving

  
  
  I'm thankful, and grateful, for such a loving and caring best friend--my wife Chris.
  
  I am full of thanks for good friends, family and the unconditional love of pets.
  
  Happy Thanksgiving!' [...]
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  Posted: November 26, 2009, 2:07am EST
  

• No Complaints

  
  It's Saul Good in Literland as we're taking the challenge issued by CONgressman Emanuel Cleaver (Dummycrat-Misery) for today to be a “Complaint Free Wednesday.”
  
  Keep in mind, after touring Cuba earlier this year, with the CONgressional Black Caucus, Cleaver had this to' [...]
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  Posted: November 25, 2009, 7:52am EST
  

• Tory

  
  The vet just left a few minutes ago, as we had to put our dog Tory to sleep.
  
  Chris found her in June of 1994, when we lived in town, as a stray on the street.
  
  We took her in and when nobody [...]
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  Posted: November 23, 2009, 10:12am EST
  

• Lady Marmalade

  
  The Liter will always admit when we're wrong and so it goes with our post yesterday (Gov'ment).
  
  We wrongly believed what the media reported that Senator Mary Landrieu's vote was being purchased for $100 Million.
  
  It turns out that when Harry [...]
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  Posted: November 22, 2009, 2:26am EST
  

• Guv'ment

  
  It's the beginning of the end, earlier this month House Dummycrats passed Obamacare (Open Wide!).
  
  Today Dummycrats in the Senate, will begin the process that ultimately sticks it to the American people, and the scientific community is united in that fact.
  [...]
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  Posted: November 21, 2009, 5:23am EST
  

• Public Service Announcement

  
  Vice President Biden will be in Central Iowa today.
  
  It'll be tons of JO BS, and the scientific community is united in that fact, but no real jobs as the U.S. unemployment rate sits at 10.2 % and Iowa's [...]
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  Posted: November 21, 2009, 4:52am EST
  

• Schmuck

  
  CONgressman Bruce Braley comes across looking like a schlemiel over recent comments.
  
  Braley weighed in on the trial of Agriprocessors plant manager Sholom Rubashkin, who was found guilty on 86 felony financial fraud charges.
  
  The CONgressman said the conviction was [...]
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  Posted: November 20, 2009, 2:43pm EST
  

• Every Which Way But Loose

  
  The Twinkie Tandem made news as they had the Great Ape Trust closing and leaving Iowa during their WHO DT 5.pm. (in the evening) newscast.
  
  Turns out it's just the orangutans who'll be relocating and the scientific community' [...]
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  Posted: November 19, 2009, 6:30am EST
  

• Eye See?

  
  I caught a glimpse of this headline in the online Cedar Rancid Gazzette
  
  Iowa State fans get a glimse at next season’s lineup
  
  The Liter is not sure if that's a good thing or not and the scientific community is [...]
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  Posted: November 19, 2009, 5:57am EST
  

• So Noted

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [...]
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  Posted: November 19, 2009, 5:03am EST
  

• Lil Bow Wow

  
  
  
  
  There's definitely a pattern, or maybe it's just Obama's into that BOWnce With Me rap and the scientific community is united in that fact.
  
  Thanks to Lucianne for Lil Kevin pic[...]
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  Posted: November 18, 2009, 4:00am EST
  

• Pressure

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  It's what the Big Lug Nut's spandex and yellow swim cap were under while doing his "intermediate distance" triathlon and [...]
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  Posted: November 18, 2009, 2:33am EST
  

• WHY!?!?!

  
  Sadly, I was wrong when I hoped that the Ragister had published the only picture of the Big Lug Nut in his triathlon.
  
  Having no sense of decency, the Ragister has printed pictures of the BLN...SHIRTLESS!
  
  Oh, the humanity!
  [...]
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  Posted: November 17, 2009, 1:40pm EST
  

• Call Me CONgressman

  
  Since the Obama administration has created fictional CONgressionial Districts in Iowa, I'm naming myself CONgressman in one.
  
  This can be the only explanation behind the creation of our one job in the amount of $112,336 as the federal stimulus dollars went to pay' [...]
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  Posted: November 17, 2009, 12:27pm EST
  

• Break My Stride?

  
  The Big Lug Nut can boast(?) he completed his first "intermediate distance" triathlon (whatever the hell that means).
  
  Per the Ragister, it took the BLN a little over three hours (3:03:27).
  
  He floated for 1,500 meters (19:19), pedaled 20 miles [...]
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  Posted: November 17, 2009, 7:35am EST
  

• Another First Round Pick?

  
  Looks like Iowa Dummycrats are recruiting another big time candidate as Ed O'Neill has announced he's running for the Iowa Senate.
  
  Kudos to Michael Kiernan!
  
  The Liter figures family values are expected to play a major role in the campaign, we're [...]
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  Posted: November 16, 2009, 12:02pm EST
  

• Just A Matter Of Time?

  
  The Big Lug Nut may want to follow this lead
  
  Culver considers retirement incentives
  
  It's Retire or Be Retired and the scientific community is united in that fact.
  
  ' [...]
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  Posted: November 13, 2009, 5:21am EST
  

• Old Habits?

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I guess under [...]
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  Posted: November 13, 2009, 4:51am EST
  

• Thank You For Your Service

  
  
  Here are a few of the ways I try to pay back.
  
  Special Operations Warrior Foundation
  
  Provides college scholarship grants, along with financial aid and educational counseling, to the children of Special Operations personnel who were killed in an operational mission [...]
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  Posted: November 11, 2009, 4:23am EST
  

• roXanne?

  
  It was RoZanne on this invitation to a Nancy Pelosi fundraising ploy at her palatial estate.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [...]
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  Posted: November 10, 2009, 3:59am EST
  

• My Name Too

  
  During their 5 p.m. newscast, WHO DT aired a story on a Des Moines native who was shot during the killings at Fort Hood.
  
  Under this photo, of Staff Sergeant Joy Clark, they had inserted the name John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt.
  [...]
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  Posted: November 10, 2009, 3:25am EST
  

• Freeze Frame?

  
  It may seem cold hearted, but last week we opined that the Big Lug Nut should be ashamed of himself for adding staff during a time of eliminated open jobs and a hiring freeze.
  
  What's cool is the Ragister has found
  [...]
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  Posted: November 09, 2009, 6:03am EST
  

• Acting Decisively?

  The Big Lug Nut's latest commercial, Stonger Than Ever, states he "decisively cut state spending" while the words "acted decisively" are on screen.
  
  In June the BLN said, "I think we’ve done enough so far” and we should be'" [...]
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  Posted: November 08, 2009, 6:36am EST
  

• Fo Shizzle

  
  Is the Ragister trying to appeal to a younger demographic with this headline?
  
  State probe homes in on fired film chief
  
  It turns out they're not trying to hone in on the vernacular all the hip kids are using, they just made' [...]
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  Posted: November 08, 2009, 6:26am EST
  

• Re Mark His Bull

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I recently noted how CommieTommie Harkin Missed The Mark he set for passage of health care before Christmas.
  
  Intelligent [...]
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  Posted: November 08, 2009, 6:03am EST
  

• Open Wide!

  
  And Say Ahh(ssholes) and the scientific community is united in that fact.
  
  Decision day for health care in the House
  Looking for 218 votes Democrats cajoled dozens of party moderates concerned about abortion and immigration provisions in the bill, as well [...]
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  Posted: November 07, 2009, 7:44am EST
  

• What DED The Governor Know?

  
  When DED he know it?
  
  The Big Lug Nut said he didn't know anything, no surprise there, about I DED:The Motion Picture until September 15th.
  
  E-mail records may prove otherwise
  
  Records show Culver was notified about film office' [...]
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  Posted: November 07, 2009, 6:54am EST
  

• WOW!

  
  Let me type the title again...WOW!
  
  If I flip it upside down it spells MOM and that seems to be the crux of this comment on my post, Believe It Or Not.
  
  Anonymous, out of Denver (I do believe), said...
  
  

  "Thank" [...]

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  Posted: November 07, 2009, 6:34am EST
  

• Believe It Or Not

  
  
  
  Researchers: Some people want to believe political misinformation
  
  I believe those people are called Dummycrats and the scientific community is united in that fact.
  
  
  
  
  
  [...]
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  Posted: November 06, 2009, 5:05am EST
  

• What Were They Smoking?

  
  If you saw this headline, what would you guess for the turnout?
  
  Many back medical marijuana in Iowa, but action unlikely
  
  The story goes on to report...
  
  The four meetings drew nearly 100 people, with most supporting medical uses of [...]
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  Posted: November 06, 2009, 4:50am EST
  

• Music Association

  
  It must be like word association for normal people (and the scientific community is united in that fact).
  
  When I see a word(s), I see a song.
  
  For example this headline;
  
  King's Harvest to open overflow shelter
  
  It made' [...]
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  Posted: November 05, 2009, 7:02am EST
  

• 2009 World Series Champions

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  The numbers on the backs of New York Yankees greats Derek Jeter and Mickey Mantle tell the [...]
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  Posted: November 05, 2009, 4:53am EST
  

• Missed The Mark

  
  In September, at his steak fry, we noted that CommieTommie told the Harkinista's...
  
  "That strong Health Care Reform bill, mark my words, I'm the Chairman and we will have a strong public option in the bill."
  
  Also, that the bill [...]
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  Posted: November 04, 2009, 5:05am EST
  

• We Wrote It Here

  
  And it happened here...
  
  Culver switches up staff, names new spokeswoman
  
  Last month we thought it was time for the Big Lug Nut to get rid of his old spokeswoman.
  
  The big problem is Phil Roeder will still be [...]
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  Posted: November 04, 2009, 4:34am EST
  

• Election Day

  
  Staci Appel-sauce for brains is supporting David Adelman in the Des Moines At Large City Council race.
  
  Why would Appel support a man, via a $250 contribution, over either of the two women in the race?
  
  It must be because [...]
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  Posted: November 03, 2009, 1:25pm EST
  

• In The Immortal Words Of Grant Young

  
  A HUGE round of applause for the Big Lug Nut's camp, and the scientific community is united in that fact, as they did not screw up and congratulate the Iowa State Cyclones on their victory at Texas A&M (The Clones lost 35-10).[...]
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  Posted: November 02, 2009, 10:30am EST
  

• Fan(?) Antics

  
  Maybe it was because it was Halloween, that Iowa fans(?) and Phillies fans(?) booed at their games Saturday.
  
  That's the only reason I can think of that those in attendance would boo a team that at the time was 8-0,' [...]
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  Posted: November 02, 2009, 10:02am EST