Officer "Smith": Thoughts From Behind the Badge

• Days or Nights?

  Some people think I'm crazy, but I prefer working nights. I feel like I get more done at night. That's when the bad guys are out and about. I just feel like I'm in my element after dark. Darkness is an advantage for me, just as it is for the [...]
  Share | Rate | Archive

  Posted: December 17, 2009, 12:15am EST
  

• Lazy Sonuvabitch...

  Okay, here's the deal.
  
  I've gone the way of quite a few bloggers recently, and fallen behind on my posting. I have also failed to read most of the blogs on my blog roll for a couple months.
  
  I need to take a moment to catch up on' [...]
  Share | Rate | Archive

  Posted: December 14, 2009, 11:23pm EST
  

• A Pet Peeve...

  One of my pet peeves is those stupid little colored lights in the windshield washers on the hood of some cars. The cars do not come equipped with these lights. I have seen red and yellow ones, but the most common ones in my area are blue. I stop every [...]
  Share | Rate | Archive

  Posted: December 10, 2009, 3:33am EST
  

• H-h-h-holy Sh-sh-sh-shit it's C-c-c-cold...

  It's friggin' freezing this morning.
  
  What's that got to do with anything?
  
  Nothing really.
  
  We're off to chop down our Christmas tree this morning. There are not many other reasons I would be up this fargging early on a Sunday.
  
  So, don't get used to it...[...]
  Share | Rate | Archive

  Posted: December 06, 2009, 9:55am EST
  

• Old Folks are Golden...

  Old people deserve a lot more respect than we give them.
  
  I don't have a lot of tolerance for people in general who want to get on my case for doing my job, but I look at old folks like this...
  
  If an old fart is grumpy, he' [...]
  Share | Rate | Archive

  Posted: December 04, 2009, 9:34pm EST
  

• Red...Blue...Red...Blue...

  People, when you see the police car behind you with the pretty red and blue lights flashing and the siren blaring away, please, for the love of God, MOVE TO THE RIGHT! Do NOT stop in the middle of the road. DON'T pull to the left. Pull your car as' [...]
  Share | Rate | Archive

  Posted: December 01, 2009, 9:59pm EST
  

• Today is a sad ...

  Today is a sad day for law enforcement, especially in Washington.
  4 police officers killed in Wash. coffee shopAs it stands right now, the suspect is still on the loose.
  
  I wish my brothers and sisters in the Tacoma area good hunting... [...]
  Share | Rate | Archive

  Posted: November 29, 2009, 7:05pm EST
  

• Restaurant Etiquette...

  I went to breakfast with the Mrs. this morning, and was reminded of the lack of restaurant manners inherent in today's society.
  
  A guy's cell phone rang (on full volume of course), and he answered it....
  
  Loudly.
  
  Only after people shot him dirty looks did he elect [...]
  Share | Rate | Archive

  Posted: November 28, 2009, 6:10pm EST
  

• Happy Thanksgiving...

  I hope everyone had or is having a great Thanksgiving.
  
  While we were sitting around the table this afternoon, it came to mind that Thanksgiving is perhaps my favorite holiday of the year. There's no pressure to find gifts for everyone. All you have to do is get together [...]
  Share | Rate | Archive

  Posted: November 26, 2009, 9:58pm EST
  

• Facebook...

  I have recently been sucked into the supermassive black hole that is Facebook.
  
  And I can't escape it.
  
  Yes, it's a great way to keep current with family and friends. Yes, it's a way to catch up with people you haven't seen in years. It's definitely a useful [...]
  Share | Rate | Archive

  Posted: November 23, 2009, 10:59pm EST
  

• Flying Solo...

  You have passed FTO, and you're on your own. It has likely been two to three years since you completed the employment application that got you here. You have taken test after test, worked your ass off in the academy, repeated the process in Field Training, and now you get' [...]
  Share | Rate | Archive

  Posted: November 20, 2009, 6:32pm EST
  

• FTO...

  Great. You graduated from the police academy. You're a cop now. Ready to hit the streets and run the town, right?
  
  Hold on a minute there sparky.
  
  So far, your learning is primarily book learning. You have done a few scenarios and some hands-on training. Now the rubber' [...]
  Share | Rate | Archive

  Posted: November 16, 2009, 3:31am EST
  

• Off to the Academy...

  So now you have a job. Your agency has hired you and will pay your way through the police academy.
  
  The first experience you will have at most academies is orientation. This usually takes place one evening during the week before the start of the academy. You will want [...]
  Share | Rate | Archive

  Posted: November 13, 2009, 10:21pm EST
  

• Now What?

  So, you passed the written, physical agility and oral interview, and now you have a conditional offer of employment in your hot little hands. What now?
  
  A conditional offer of employment is just that, conditional. What that means is you'll have to meet certain conditions in order to actually' [...]
  Share | Rate | Archive

  Posted: November 08, 2009, 2:25pm EST
  

• Taking the Plunge...

  So, you want to be a police officer.
  
  What in Hell have you gotten yourself into?
  
  Well, let's see.
  
  Once you apply, you'll have to take some combination of a written test, a physical agility test, and an interview.
  
  The written test is pretty basic. If [...]
  Share | Rate | Archive

  Posted: November 06, 2009, 1:29pm EST
  

• Range Day...

  Sometimes, when we have a range day, I find myself looking at the targets of the other officers shooting to either side of me.
  
  I look to see how tight their groups are. I look to see if they're throwing rounds, or just plain peppering the target.
  
  Then' [...]
  Share | Rate | Archive

  Posted: November 04, 2009, 9:29pm EST
  

• Productivity...

  Once, there was a very productive day. It may have been yesterday, or it may have been years ago. The time matters not. I set off out of the lot and tooled down Main Street, in search of someone who needed taking to jail. The sun was setting and the [...]
  Share | Rate | Archive

  Posted: November 02, 2009, 12:19pm EST
  

• Back in a Few...

  Hey y'all. I need to take a couple days.
  
  I'll be back with more new and exciting adventures on Monday.
  
  Patience, Grasshopper... [...]
  Share | Rate | Archive

  Posted: October 29, 2009, 1:26am EDT
  

• Yo! Bonehead...

  I shall never understand why after people pull some bonehead maneuver (such as a block long burnout, running a stop sign, or almost taking my front end off while making an unsafe lane change), when they see me they slow down to about 10 MPH (okay, maybe I'm exaggerating just' [...]
  Share | Rate | Archive

  Posted: October 26, 2009, 10:20pm EDT
  

• Spot On...

  "A society that makes war against its police had better learn to make friends with its criminals." [...]
  Share | Rate | Archive

  Posted: October 25, 2009, 1:56am EDT
  

• Not So Bright...

  During our torrential downpours of the past week, I made a few stops for people driving with their high-beam headlights on, blinding me and any other drivers who happened to be in their path.
  
  One driver in particular told me he had his high-beams on because his windshield was [...]
  Share | Rate | Archive

  Posted: October 22, 2009, 11:52pm EDT
  

• You Have GOT to be Kidding Me...

  Thanks to the Mrs. for bringing this to my attention.
  
  Read this first. I'll wait...
  
  Immigrant activists call out 'Illegal Alien' costumes
  
  Puh-freaking-leeese.
  
  Immigrant rights activists? A broadside attack on illegal immigrants? WTF are you talking about?
  
  What Goddamned bleeding heart idiot coined the' [...]
  Share | Rate | Archive

  Posted: October 19, 2009, 1:11pm EDT
  

• Twenty Years...

  Twenty years ago, right now...
  
  The Bay Area shook, rattled and rolled...
  
  
  6.9 on the Richter Scale...
  
  
  The World Series was interrupted...
  
  
  I was standing in the [...]
  Share | Rate | Archive

  Posted: October 17, 2009, 8:04pm EDT
  

• Dropping Names... and Dimes...

  We have some issues with the schools here in Smithville. Lots of kids are bussed in from surrounding cities, and they tend to bring their ghetto fabulous attitude along with them. These little turds feel like they can do whatever they want, and when they get stopped by the police [...]
  Share | Rate | Archive

  Posted: October 17, 2009, 1:22pm EDT
  

• How Appropriate ...

  So, after nearly drowning in the gutters yesterday, I stopped a fella for a cell phone violation today. I saw the phone as he drove by, and noticed he was driving rather poorly. He never even saw me, so involved was he in his conversation.
  
  I contacted him and [...]
  Share | Rate | Archive

  Posted: October 14, 2009, 9:39pm EDT
  

• Weather or Not....

  The forecast in these parts for the next two days is "Torrential Rain".
  
  
  That basically means people will forget how to drive. I expect to take a goodly number of traffic collisions this week.
  
  There are several streets throughout the county that have [...]
  Share | Rate | Archive

  Posted: October 12, 2009, 2:18pm EDT
  

• The Letter...

  If I could write a letter to myself, and send it back in time to my teenage years, what would it say?
  
  Dear Me,
  
  Yes. This is a letter from you. The future you. How do you know it's really me... err, you?
  
  Well, when you were' [...]
  Share | Rate | Archive

  Posted: October 10, 2009, 10:27pm EDT
  

• Double Standards, and a Sense of Entitlement...

  I'm sure I noticed this before I was a police officer, but it's much more pronounced now.
  
  The vast majority of the general public seems to suffer from a severe sense of entitlement, and as a result, they tend to set double standards.
  
  Most of these people will [...]
  Share | Rate | Archive

  Posted: October 08, 2009, 10:47pm EDT
  

• Brad Moody's Heart...

  I'm sure all of my regular readers, and probably my newer readers as well, have noticed the memorials prominently displayed along the right hand edge of my blog. I do my best to not let anyone forget the sacrifices of our brother officers.
  
  Dave and Kim Funk have gone' [...]
  Share | Rate | Archive

  Posted: October 06, 2009, 9:13pm EDT
  

• Traffic Ticket Revenue...

  Every week it seems that I have a theme. Sometimes I'll write a lot of a certain violation, or maybe I'll cite a lot of a certain car, or perhaps I'll get a lot of teenage drivers.
  
  This week's theme was people who thought I write tickets to generate [...]
  Share | Rate | Archive

  Posted: October 04, 2009, 3:50pm EDT
  

• Do the Wave...

  Yet another thing that drives me absolutely nuts is when some asshole in a big SUV or a big jacked up 4x4 pickup truck comes bombing up alongside traffic approaching a merge, then at the last second forces his or her way in front of me...
  
  Then waves at [...]
  Share | Rate | Archive

  Posted: October 02, 2009, 8:28pm EDT
  

• Dear Driver...

  Just because you happen to live in this city, does not somehow exempt you from obeying the traffic laws here.
  
  Working on a contract for the city also does not exempt you from obeying the traffic OR PARKING laws in the city.
  
  Just thought I should clarify that [...]
  Share | Rate | Archive

  Posted: September 30, 2009, 11:35pm EDT
  

• Big Brown...

  UPS drivers are, for the most part, some of the most polite individuals I have met.
  
  But they can't park.
  
  I am still not certain why a UPS truck will always find itself double parked in a traffic lane when there is usually an empty space at the' [...]
  Share | Rate | Archive

  Posted: September 28, 2009, 7:25pm EDT
  

• FTA Excuses...

  "The court records and the officer's testimony indicate that you signed a written promise to appear in this court on or before August 15th of 2008, but you did not appear until mid-February of 2009. Do you have any information in that regard?"
  
  I have heard some real doozies' [...]
  Share | Rate | Archive

  Posted: September 26, 2009, 6:17pm EDT
  

• Mad Dog...

  I've been asked as a result of recent posts what mad dogging is.
  
  This is mad dogging, mean mugging, whatever you want to call it.
  
  ' [...]
  Share | Rate | Archive

  Posted: September 24, 2009, 11:54pm EDT
  

• Does a Bear Crap in the Woods?

  Well, if he does, he does so quietly.
  
  Time was, you could go out into the deep dark woods and get away from it all. Even if you chose to go to a semi-prepared campground you knew you'd be around others who were there for the quiet.
  
  The' [...]
  Share | Rate | Archive

  Posted: September 22, 2009, 4:25pm EDT
  

• Two Years...

  Happy birthday blog! [...]
  Share | Rate | Archive

  Posted: September 17, 2009, 9:53am EDT
  

• To Question or not to Question, That is the ...Ummm, Question...

  Occasionally, an officer will make an arrest for something relatively minor, a petty theft for example. Upon returning to the jail to book the prisoner, a check of our suspect's criminal history reveals he has a warrant for something rather more severe. Say homicide, assault with a deadly weapon, serial [...]
  Share | Rate | Archive

  Posted: September 15, 2009, 8:34pm EDT
  

• Professional Courtesy...

  For those of you who are uninformed, so called "professional courtesy" is when a police officer stops a car for some traffic violation and determines the driver of that vehicle is also a police officer, firefighter, nurse, whatever. The officer can decide not to issue the other officer a citation, [...]
  Share | Rate | Archive

  Posted: September 13, 2009, 1:23pm EDT
  

• Remember...

  [...]
  Share | Rate | Archive

  Posted: September 11, 2009, 2:38pm EDT
  

• On Moderation...

  Note: This is not aimed at any one person. It is the result of several comments over the past month or so.
  
  I've noticed recently that I have been getting a lot of comments to various blog posts from people who question my heredity, my reasons for becoming a' [...]
  Share | Rate | Archive

  Posted: September 09, 2009, 6:41pm EDT
  

• Planes, Trains and Automobiles...

  Just saw a Board of Supervisors meeting on the county channel, and once again, the neighbors of the airport are griping about noise.
  
  Our small local airport has been humming right along for years. Planes come in. Planes go out. Just like any other airport.
  
  Folks who happen [...]
  Share | Rate | Archive

  Posted: September 09, 2009, 6:40pm EDT
  

• Your Military Left...

  Or maybe your CALTRANS left...
  
  [...]
  Share | Rate | Archive

  Posted: September 07, 2009, 3:48am EDT
  

• I'm Sorry, You've Called the Wrong Number...

  I've gotten wrong number calls on my cell phone many times.
  
  But this is the first time I've ever gotten a wrong number TEXT! [...]
  Share | Rate | Archive

  Posted: September 04, 2009, 3:28pm EDT
  

• Color Blind?

  Okay, it's time for another quiz because I seem to be writing a lot of parking tickets for colored curbs lately. Work with me here:
  
  ========================
  
  #1 - If you see a curb that is clearly painted bright RED, you should:
  
  A) Park there until you see [...]
  Share | Rate | Archive

  Posted: September 03, 2009, 4:42pm EDT
  

• Shhhhhh... Be Vewwy Quiet... I'm Hunting Ducks...

  So, I was sitting at one of my favorite duck ponds this morning, watching the commute traffic for cell phones and seat belts among other things.
  
  In this particular spot, I sit on the far side of a shopping center driveway, as viewed by approaching traffic, and there is [...]
  Share | Rate | Archive

  Posted: September 01, 2009, 12:14am EDT
  

• Searching...

  I search people...
  
  A lot.
  
  I pat search when I make contact with someone I'm unsure about. I search for weapons and contraband when I handcuff someone.
  
  But possibly the most important search I ever do, is the search just before I put someone in the back' [...]
  Share | Rate | Archive

  Posted: August 29, 2009, 12:58pm EDT
  

• In Good Hands...

  You would think drivers in a state that requires insurance would, more often than not, have insurance, right?
  
  And you'd also think those who have insurance, and are provided with those nifty little insurance cards by their insurance companies every six months, would have the aforementioned cards in their' [...]
  Share | Rate | Archive

  Posted: August 28, 2009, 12:21am EDT
  

• Habits Old and New...

  I have a bad habit.
  
  I know, I know. Another one?
  
  Yes.
  
  Occasionally I will go out into the rear lot at the PD and find that some non-parking individual has placed the passenger side of their patrol car so near my driver's door that I can [...]
  Share | Rate | Archive

  Posted: August 25, 2009, 7:06pm EDT
  

• It's all About Perspective...

  Okay. I've had my fifteen minutes of fame, so to speak. Now let's get back to business....
  
  There is something I wish people could understand when I write them a ticket for running a red light.
  
  When I stop folks for running a red light, they almost always' [...]
  Share | Rate | Archive

  Posted: August 23, 2009, 1:48pm EDT