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Items by Plebian

  • NONE TO GO!!

    —Daily Dollop

    Number of comments: 1
    You can probably guess how my morning went:

    1) Wake kids up at seven
    2) Drop kids off at seven ten with woman who will take them to school at seven fifty
    3) Go to airport
    4) Begin pestering desk personnel about whether or not the plane has landed
    [...]
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    Posted: November 17, 2009, 3:33pm EST
    by Plebian

  • ESPN Sets Up Plantation?

    —doubleplusundead

    ESPN.com, the online branch of the sports multimedia empire, finally realized its dream yesterday of achieving a segregated site, sending its minority columnists to the back of the website in a new tab called "Commentary" and setting up the plantation that it has long desired. Michael Kinsley, who until recently [...]
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    Posted: November 17, 2009, 11:19am EST
    by plebian

  • Ten Down, ONE to Go

    —Daily Dollop

    Number of comments: 2
    Sunday dawned clear and cold, and I knew exactly two things: I was now 24 hours away from having Wifey back, and somebody was breathing on the back of my neck at 7:00 in the morning.

    I quickly came to the only logical conclusion (some kind of Freddy Kreuger/Jason [...]
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    Posted: November 16, 2009, 5:14pm EST
    by Plebian

  • Football, Math, and Cowards

    —Daily Dollop

    Number of comments: 2
    So everybody and his grandmother is piling on Bill Belichick's decision to go for it on 4th-and-2 from the Patriot's own 28. It's the "safe" attack in sports talk right now, like when you want to make fun of Mike Tyson for being a cannibal or Al Davis for being [...]
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    Posted: November 16, 2009, 4:18pm EST
    by Plebian

  • Nine Down, Two to Go

    —Daily Dollop

    Number of comments: 0
    I stare into the abyss, my soul a smoking ruin of what I thought it once was. I have transgressed every boundary, indulged in fiendish taboo, and done things which will haunt me the rest of my days. Truly, I have no need to search out any longer the heart [...]
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    Posted: November 14, 2009, 5:13pm EST
    by Plebian

  • Eight Down, Three to Go

    —Daily Dollop

    Number of comments: 0
    I think even the most casual of my blog readers would know that I'm all about safety. That's why when Wifey left last Friday, I gave her cell phone to the girl with strict instructions: if she became concerned or nervous, or found herself waiting for me with her brother [...]
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    Posted: November 13, 2009, 5:10pm EST
    by Plebian

  • Channeling my Inner Eddie

    —doubleplusundead

    So I'm reading yet another lamentation on the state of our "special relationship" with the UK, and bemoaning how our president has treated our faithful allies so poorly, and you know what I'm thinking? Fuck the British. Fuck the Europeans. Fuck 'em all. I've lived in Europe since early 2004. [...]
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    Posted: November 13, 2009, 12:38pm EST
    by plebian

  • Seven Down, Four to Go

    —Daily Dollop

    Number of comments: 0
    The children saved my life this morning.

    No, really! Typically I leave the house around 7:30, but owing to Wifey's prolonged vacation in hell, I have to wait until 7:55 to leave. Today, I had to wait tons of time in a traffic jam on the interstate on the' [...]
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    Posted: November 12, 2009, 3:59pm EST
    by Plebian

  • At the risk of being impolitic

    —doubleplusundead

    So I'm reading this blah-blah about abortion coverage, and here's what strikes me: buying abortion insurance sounds like a scam. I mean, really, how many abortions is the average woman gonna have? It's $400-800 for a first-trimester abortion (according to the story). Considering there are all kinds of ways to' [...]
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    Posted: November 12, 2009, 11:57am EST
    by plebian

  • Six Down, Five to Go

    —Daily Dollop

    Number of comments: 0
    I am so screwed when Wifey gets back. And not in the good "she spent days strolling through erotic lingerie boutiques looking for things to please her adoring husband" way, but in the bad "I made the travel plans which have turned her life into a living hell" way.

    [...]
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    Posted: November 11, 2009, 3:54pm EST
    by Plebian

  • Wonder why he skipped one?

    —doubleplusundead

    Two of my favorite things are conspiracy theories and doomsday predictions. So I read this list of 10 failed doomsday predictions eagerly. Rightly, it's got lots of erronious religious doomsday predictions in there. Though to be fair, several are obscure. But I notice that our "Skeptical Inquirer" somehow manages to [...]
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    Posted: November 11, 2009, 11:22am EST
    by plebian

  • Five down, six to go

    —Daily Dollop

    Number of comments: 1
    Today, I vowed that regardless of what came to pass, there would be one goal at which I would surely succeed, regardless of cost or consequence: I would at long last cast off this thrice-damned cold, nasal drip and all.

    Having made this vow, though, I was unsure of [...]
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    Posted: November 10, 2009, 3:46pm EST
    by Plebian

  • I don't get the same message

    —doubleplusundead

    Here's a very sad story about a man who died far too young and the wife and children he left behind. It's supposed to make you believe that we need national health care, but that's not what it pushes me too. It pushes me the other way. She believes, as [...]
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    Posted: November 10, 2009, 11:29am EST
    by plebian

  • New "Contract with America"

    —doubleplusundead

    Republican chairman Michael Steele today unrolled the GP's effort to recapture the House and Senate in the 2010 mid-terms by revealing his "Contract with America", a revival of the 1994 document that Newt Gingrich used to wrestle Congress away from the Democrats. "We are promising a new dawning of politics" [...]
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    Posted: November 10, 2009, 11:16am EST
    by plebian

  • Four down, 7 to go

    —Daily Dollop

    Number of comments: 0
    Do you know what the difference between mommies and daddies is?

    It's that mommies use a variety of psychological weapons (from guilt to threatening to the intricate bonds of love) to help make their children into fully functional adults. It takes many years, it's very tricky business, and it [...]
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    Posted: November 09, 2009, 4:22pm EST
    by Plebian

  • My weekend

    —doubleplusundead

    At the risk of wearing out my welcome, I'm gonig to whore out my own blog here. But I defend it with the following arguments: I posted something earlier exclusively here, and I would post this here but they're super-duper long and it's always been my custom to keep my [...]
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    Posted: November 09, 2009, 12:17pm EST
    by plebian

  • Dear Plebian

    —doubleplusundead

    Its time once again for that font of extreme knowledge to answer the questions that have been building up in my e-mail inbox. So let's get right to... [...]
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    Posted: November 09, 2009, 7:29am EST
    by plebian

  • Three Down, Eight to Go

    —Daily Dollop

    Number of comments: 1
    When I awoke this morning, the only way that I knew that I hadn't been slaughtered by an errant poltergeist overnight was the feeling of cotton slowly swelling my groggy, befuddled head.

    Ye gods, what a night!

    I went to bed early because I was horrifically stuffy and' [...]
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    Posted: November 08, 2009, 4:31pm EST
    by Plebian

  • This is the End...of Day 2

    —Daily Dollop

    Number of comments: 0
    The kids are in bed. My head is throbbing. But I've reached the end of the second day of being without Wifey. Which, if you think about it, is really the first full day. But I digress...

    After I'd showered and shaved, I felt somewhat better. We went and [...]
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    Posted: November 07, 2009, 3:41pm EST
    by Plebian

  • Morning, day 2

    —Daily Dollop

    Number of comments: 0
    By my reckoning, I've spent over 120 nights away from home since we moved here, or about 1/3 of a year. Four whole months. On those nights Wifey is solely responsible for everything to do with putting the kids to bed, and then turning out the house, and then going' [...]
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    Posted: November 07, 2009, 3:43am EST
    by Plebian

  • One down, Ten to go

    —Daily Dollop

    Number of comments: 1
    And so, dear reader, we reach the end of day 1. The children are in bed, I'm sitting down at the computer, and Wifey's…well, I'm not so sure where Wifey is. Probably on a beach getting suntan oil rubbed on her back or something.

    Before she left, Wifey made' [...]
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    Posted: November 06, 2009, 3:45pm EST
    by Plebian

  • They're kidding, right??

    —doubleplusundead

    Okay, so I keep seeing these T-Mobile MyTouch 3G with Google pop-up ads (here's the site; click if you dare). And they keep having these same four people in it, and so today there's one of these stupid pop-up ads where they walk around the screen and you have to [...]
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    Posted: November 06, 2009, 11:53am EST
    by plebian

  • Home Alone

    —Daily Dollop

    Number of comments: 2
    Earlier this year, despite the gloomy economic climate and my general worthlessness as an employee, my company offered me a contract extension to remain overseas for a few more years, and I accepted. That evening, I came home and told Wifey the good news.

    "Guess what? I got a" [...]
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    Posted: November 06, 2009, 11:36am EST
    by Plebian

  • Back to normal

    —Daily Dollop

    Number of comments: 0
    Okay, so we're going to go back to the satire/humor angle I'm used to working, starting with the next post. That last one was kind of an aberration, see. It's not like I'm wise, or thoughtful, or even very bright.

    And for all those of you who have been [...]
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    Posted: November 06, 2009, 11:34am EST
    by Plebian

  • A little levity

    —doubleplusundead

    On an otherwise serious day, here's a little levity: my wife, possibly suffering from mental illness, has left me at home alone with the kids for ten days. Mwu-hahahaha! I know it's been a gazillion years since I posted regularly, but I thought it might be fun to chronicle the [...]
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    Posted: November 06, 2009, 6:41am EST
    by plebian

  • Rope a dope?

    —Daily Dollop

    Number of comments: 8
    So I'm reading American Lion, the biography of Andrew Jackson. As a Tennesseean, I have always loved Jackson. He's basically the only TN president worth a damn (the others are Johnson, famous for being impeached, and Polk, famous for, uh, having a name very close to a common meat product).
    [...]
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    Posted: November 05, 2009, 4:32pm EST
    by Plebian

  • So, yeah, it's been a while

    —Daily Dollop

    Number of comments: 0
    Yeah, yeah, I know; it's been a while. A long while. I've been rather swamped at work. On the one hand, this is a good thing: the whole global recession hasn't really impacted me at all. On the other hand, it pretty much killed off my blog.

    But, I' [...]
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    Posted: November 05, 2009, 4:29pm EST
    by Plebian

  • A very long musing

    —doubleplusundead

    Over on my blog, I wrote a very long musing about how Andrew Jackson's 1824 post-election strategy relates to Sarah Palin and Barack Obama. It's probably drivel, but you might enjoy it if you can read all the way through it. I only tell you here because something like two [...]
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    Posted: November 05, 2009, 12:33pm EST
    by plebian

  • The difference between us and them

    —doubleplusundead

    Them: Two armed active-duty fighters killed by angry bear, possibly over pic-a-nic basket. Two others missing, wounded, and presumed scared. Us: Ex-soldier kills bear with a freaking log. Are you absolutely sure you want to continue to screw with... [...]
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    Posted: November 04, 2009, 12:38pm EST
    by plebian

  • Top Ten Hoffman Campaign Promises

    —doubleplusundead

    So everybody knows about Doug Hoffman (Actual R-NY), who is running against Dede Scofflawza (RINO-NY) for the open Congressional seat there. And everybody knows he's been endorsed by the cream of the conservative crop, from Sarah Palin to Fred Thompson to King Leonidas of Sparta, with his famous cry of [...]
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    Posted: October 28, 2009, 11:17pm EDT
    by plebian

  • Some interesting links

    —doubleplusundead

    Here are some interesting tales of the UK's NHS for you to ponder as you think about universal, single-payer coverage: NHS urged to cut 1 in 10 staff to meet savings targets. NHS medication errors double in two years. To save NHS money, we should stop making ourselves ill (this [...]
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    Posted: September 03, 2009, 11:57am EDT
    by plebian

  • If nobody else is gonna mention it...

    —doubleplusundead

    Okay, I'm willing to say it even if none of the rest of you are: Ace has gone soft. And if you're like me, it's tearing you apart. We're all used to Allahpundit being (in the vernacular) a douchebag, with his Northeastern Pencil-Neck Elitist vibe only slightly less effusive than' [...]
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    Posted: September 02, 2009, 11:11am EDT
    by plebian

  • Another Ted Kennedy Joke

    —doubleplusundead

    Do you know what the difference was between a giant, pus-filled cold sore on your face and Teddy Kennedy? Nobody ever died from going on a first date with a giant, pus-filled cold sore on their... [...]
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    Posted: September 02, 2009, 10:32am EDT
    by plebian

  • Five Things Democrats May Want to Remember

    —doubleplusundead

    Here are five interesting points drawn from recent history that Democrats may want to remember as we move through August. If you are a Democrat, or you know someone who may be, it would be in their best interest to run over this list and remember that while fortunes can [...]
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    Posted: August 12, 2009, 11:17am EDT
    by plebian

  • Fecal-Sandwich Sales Plummet

    —doubleplusundead

    The recession economy may have claimed another victim today, as early reports from the White House are that the sales of fecal sandwiches have plummeted in recent months. The dropoff has many observers concerned that a sandwich recall may in the offing, as more than half of the consumers have [...]
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    Posted: August 05, 2009, 10:56am EDT
    by plebian

  • A challenge for brave comedien(ne)s

    —doubleplusundead

    Here's the thought that occurred to me when I saw Roseanne Barr's disgraceful "Hitler eating Jew cookies" pictures (worse than it sounds): Instead of wallowing in tapped-out anti-semitism, why don't one of these bold comic visionaries indulge in some home-grown racism and shoot KKK-style photos? If Roseanne wanted to be' [...]
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    Posted: July 31, 2009, 12:43pm EDT
    by plebian

  • Transcript of the Beer Summit

    —doubleplusundead

    Thanks to my inside sources at the White House*, I was able to receive a transcript of the Beer Summit that took place yesterday between President Barack Obama, VP Joe Biden, scholar Henry Louis Gates, and police officer James Crowley. Here's how it all went down: * = which is [...]
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    Posted: July 31, 2009, 9:39am EDT
    by plebian

  • An apology

    —doubleplusundead

    On behalf of everyone here at DPUD, I would like to apologize for Vinty's inappropriate, tasteless, and regrettable blog post earlier today. (link is NSFW and should not be viewed by children, the elderly, or pregnant women; DPUD accepts no responsibility for blindness or ED caused by viewing this link). [...]
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    Posted: July 29, 2009, 1:10pm EDT
    by plebian

  • Obamacare Sees Bounce

    —doubleplusundead

    IN a surprising announcement, highly-touted pollster Zigby today said that President Obama’s healthcare plan showed a sudden surge, giving hope to the beleaguered president and his congressional allies. Support for the single-payer plan increased to 55% of those surveyed between July 24 and 27, with those under 35 now favoring [...]
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    Posted: July 29, 2009, 11:56am EDT
    by plebian

  • Gates on Race

    —doubleplusundead

    I was in a hospital waiting room today, and I read a TIME from February where they had "10 Questions for Henry Louis Gates Jr.", which you can find online as well. I hadn't seen it linked anywhere. It's an interesting look at the man before the Crowley incident. Conclude' [...]
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    Posted: July 26, 2009, 6:44pm EDT
    by plebian

  • Bring your appetite!

    —doubleplusundead

    Are you hungry for some good old fashioned Ad Hominem? Then come on down to the Huffington Post, where it's served up hot and fresh daily! Today they're discussing the scandal so nice they named it twice: Gatesgate! Be warned, though, that the comments have turned into a mass grave' [...]
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    Posted: July 26, 2009, 6:17pm EDT
    by plebian

  • Screw the Mayans

    —doubleplusundead

    While at the theater this afternoon to see the newest Harry Potter film, I saw a preview for an upcoming piece of crap titled 2012. How can I be so certain it will suck? Let me count the ways: It's directed by Roland Emmerich, who should be in prison for [...]
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    Posted: July 22, 2009, 6:54pm EDT
    by plebian

  • Through the Looking Glass

    —Daily Dollop

    Number of comments: 1
    While others waste their time conspiracy-mongering about the Obama birth certificate, a great and hideous cabal works its nefarious will to alter the United States in ways we cannot possibly imagine, spearheaded by the Republican arch villain Karl Rove.

    I speak, of course, about the ongoing efforts to sell [...]
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    Posted: July 22, 2009, 12:08am EDT
    by Plebian

  • Through the Looking Glass

    —doubleplusundead

    While others waste their time conspiracy-mongering about the Obama birth certificate, a great and hideous cabal works its nefarious will to alter the United States in ways we cannot possibly imagine, spearheaded by the Republican arch villain Karl Rove. I speak, of course, about the ongoing efforts to sell southern [...]
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    Posted: July 21, 2009, 7:09pm EDT
    by plebian

  • In My Day

    —doubleplusundead

    For those of you uninterested in the disgruntled rantings of an old codger, just go on. If, however, you are unhappy with the current state of affairs today, perhaps you will find solace in my... [...]
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    Posted: July 20, 2009, 6:40pm EDT
    by plebian

  • Hollywood Math

    —doubleplusundead

    Hollywood’s all about copying what works, and yet it still falls desperately short and produces nothing but crap. This is because Hollywood types use small words and spend their time focusing on how to score weed and tail (thought not necessarily in that order). As a top-notch math and science [...]
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    Posted: July 03, 2009, 9:59am EDT
    by plebian

  • Mourning a True Visionary

    —doubleplusundead

    Many times it's said that the true measure of a man cannot be taken until he has passed from this mortal coil, when we in solemn reflection can look back upon his life and take full account of his actions and deeds. Thus it is right and fitting that we [...]
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    Posted: June 29, 2009, 10:26am EDT
    by plebian

  • Last Minute Father's Day Gift Guide for Wives

    —doubleplusundead

    As all of you probably know, Father's day is tomorrow. And if you're like most wives, you're probably not sure what to get your husbands, who spend 364 days of the year working and slaving away to help make life better for you and the children. Thankfully, I'm here to' [...]
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    Posted: June 20, 2009, 2:43pm EDT
    by plebian

  • The Real Civil War Analogy

    —Daily Dollop

    Number of comments: 1
    Some people think that Obama is the new Lincoln. Others think he's the second term of Jimmy Carter. They're both wrong.

    Barack Obama is serving the first term of George McClellan, Lincoln's do-nothing general who ran on the Democrat appeasement platform in 1864.

    The similarities don't stop [...]
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    Posted: June 19, 2009, 5:08pm EDT
    by Plebian

  • The Real Civil War Analogy

    —doubleplusundead

    Some people think that Obama is the new Lincoln. Others think he's the second term of Jimmy Carter. They're both wrong. Barack Obama is serving the first term of George McClellan, Lincoln's do-nothing general who ran on the Democrat appeasement platform in 1864. The similarities don't stop at their party: [...]
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    Posted: June 19, 2009, 4:10pm EDT
    by plebian

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