Caption This!

• Sweet Lawn Jockey

  Knowledge is Power
  
  
  1. "Yo ho ho! You and me! Little bronze god, how the left loves thee..."
  
  2. Michael Jackson ordered like twenty of these before he died, but only this one is in a pose suitable for public display.
  
  [...]
  Share | Rate | Archive

  Posted: December 11, 2009, 10:14am EST
  

• Smug Little POS Isn't He?

  
  1. It's about time!
  
  2. Wonder how Bill Clinton feels being the only living Democrat ex-president not to have a Nobel Peace Prize?
  
  3. The poor idiot still hasn't realized someone altered his Teleprompter and he ended his speech with "Go F--k Yourself,'" [...]
  Share | Rate | Archive

  Posted: December 11, 2009, 9:21am EST
  

• Cold Front

  [...]
  Share | Rate | Archive

  Posted: December 10, 2009, 12:20pm EST
  

• Bouncy Bouncy Bouncy

  [...]
  Share | Rate | Archive

  Posted: December 10, 2009, 6:17am EST
  

• I don't know what look they were going for, but they missed

  
  1. "On behalf Andrew Sullivan, Gore Vidal, and Barney Frank... welcome to the Old Queen's convention."
  
  2. "Discreet eye make-up can hide the ravages of syphilis," Lady Ga Ga provides make-up tips to Queen Elizabeth II.
  
  3. Even though he was burning in' [...]
  Share | Rate | Archive

  Posted: December 09, 2009, 10:58am EST
  

• Thursday Babe? I'm a Frayed Knot

  
  1. "Chicks-With-Ugly-Schnozzes-Wh0-Are-Really-Bad-at-Macrame Wednesdays" was a Cap This theme that never caught on.
  
  2. The Secretary of State was delighted to discover that Danish hookers lacked in looks what they made up for in their willingness for rough kink.
  
  3. "That will teach you" [...]
  Share | Rate | Archive

  Posted: December 09, 2009, 8:33am EST
  

• Here's Another Sign

  Army of Mom
  
  1. "Hi, I'm from ACORN, and I believe we can come to an arrangement."
  
  2. Gallup becomes ever more 'selective' in its sampling techniques to keep Obama's approval ratings up.
  
  3. Three more jobs 'created or saved' by the [...]
  Share | Rate | Archive

  Posted: December 08, 2009, 9:17am EST
  

• It Looks Pretty Gay to me

  Troll Crusher
  
  1. He had to resort to disguises to get around the restraining order, but Andrew Sullivan would do anything to get Tiger Woods to 'play his back nine.'
  
  2. There were no real surprises among the first 16 mistresses that came out. [...]
  Share | Rate | Archive

  Posted: December 08, 2009, 8:44am EST
  

• And Lavender Polyester Is an Abomination

  Blondie
  
  
  Best of Matt the K
  He forgot to add "Tim Gunn Can Set You Free!"
  
  Best of metalgarth
  ...and he probably is an expert on sinning and wearing skirts.
  
  Best of GregMan
  This message [...]
  Share | Rate | Archive

  Posted: December 08, 2009, 8:15am EST
  

• Ready, Aim...

  
  1. "Nyet, I'm not going to give the English spy an elaborate death, I'm just going to shoot the bastard. Then, I'm going to take his car and his woman."
  
  2. "Crazy Vladimir is taking aim at high prices and poor quality! C'mon down" [...]
  Share | Rate | Archive

  Posted: December 07, 2009, 11:07am EST
  

• Baby on Bored

  
  1. "This, um, baby miraculously survived a late-term abortion. Get my sledge hammer."
  
  2. "He'll be all right, I think the soft spot on the top of his head absorbed most of the impact!"
  
  3. "Ah call da fool, Mini-T!"
  
  4. "Aw,'" [...]
  Share | Rate | Archive

  Posted: December 07, 2009, 6:12am EST
  

• Mighty Ducks XII, directed by Ang Lee

  
  1. How the average Canadian loses his virginity.
  
  2. If Genghis Khan had invaded Canada.
  
  3. "Jeez guys, all I said was, 'I kinda like Sarah Palin.' I hate playing the MSM team."
  
  4. "Right hand... blue."
  
  5. "Damb... somebody done" [...]
  Share | Rate | Archive

  Posted: December 05, 2009, 7:00am EST
  

• Romantic Goat Dinner

  Brender
  
  1. To ease the lonely nights, Habib liked to imagine he was Tiger Woods, and his goats were high-class skanks.
  
  2. Abdul had been very careful, but he supposed the accidental meeting of his two lovers had somehow been inevitable from the [...]
  Share | Rate | Archive

  Posted: December 04, 2009, 11:53am EST
  

• Spot the Turkey

  Brender
  1. "No, genius-who-believes-his-own-ridiculous-hype, you just pardoned the turkey, you didn't 'ressurect' him."
  
  2. The turkey wears the "WTF is wrong with this idiot?" expression common to those meeting Obama in person for the first time.
  
  3. They didn't know how the hypnotism [...]
  Share | Rate | Archive

  Posted: December 04, 2009, 4:54am EST
  

• From the 'Women Who May Have Just Farted' Collection

  [...]
  Share | Rate | Archive

  Posted: December 03, 2009, 9:18am EST
  

• And then the Danish Troll's Head Exploded

  
  
  This is suitable for desktop wallpaper... if you work for David Letterman.
  [...]
  Share | Rate | Archive

  Posted: December 03, 2009, 9:05am EST
  

• Amazon Woman with Big Pointy Spear

  1. As his cameo in Amazon Invasion of the Suburbs clearly indicates, Matt LeBlanc will take whatever work he can get these days.
  
  2. Each successive explanation of how Tiger Woods got his injuries strains credulity even further.
  
  3. A young Robert Reich is [...]
  Share | Rate | Archive

  Posted: December 02, 2009, 12:39pm EST
  

• Don't you hate it when this guy sits next to EVERYBODY on the plane

  Julie the Jarhead
  
  1. Stung by criticism for his use of private jets, Al Gore flies coach to Copenhagen.
  
  2. "Let's say these coach class seats represent tax revenue and this fat guy represents Federal spending during the Bush years. Now, put that guy'" [...]
  Share | Rate | Archive

  Posted: December 02, 2009, 8:28am EST
  

• Ang Lee, What Have You Done This Time?

  Shayne
  1. When asked why she picked this costume for her BF, Latrina replied, "Because he's faster than a speeding bullet, that's for damn sure."
  
  2. In 1982, a young Adam Sandler and a flaming Lionel Richie crossed paths in a Secaucus Mall.
  
  [...]
  Share | Rate | Archive

  Posted: December 01, 2009, 11:51am EST
  

• More Love From My Stalker-Troll

  I really wonder how you reconcile your Mormonism with your unabashed and repressed horniness. Wonder if old Joe Smith would approve of the slimy perv you've become.
  How can horniness be unabashed and repressed at the same time?' [...]
  Share | Rate | Archive

  Posted: December 01, 2009, 11:13am EST
  

• A Nice Bare Chested Blond

  
  1. "Army of Mom, are you trying to seduce me?"
  
  2. Army of Mom inspects the new Aryan Male Model Manbot.
  
  3. "The measuring tape isn't for your sleeves. You must be new at this."
  
  4. CNN can't be doing too bad [...]
  Share | Rate | Archive

  Posted: December 01, 2009, 6:26am EST
  

• OMG, No Way!

  Sondra K
  
  
  1. Unfortunately, he had no choice. The Teleprompter said, "Raise your glass with the napkin still attached like some frickin' retard."
  
  2. "What the hell is wrong with this idiot?" Prime Minister Singh wondered silently.
  
  3. It's actually worse [...]
  Share | Rate | Archive

  Posted: November 30, 2009, 9:36am EST
  

• Granny and Jethro

  Brender
  1. "There's nothing to be afraid of, grandma. It's just a bus with a suspiciously high clearance."
  
  2. ORA: The little Bushman couldn't figure out how the hell this idiot had been elected. The Gods Must Indeed Be Crazy.
  
  3. "For'" [...]
  Share | Rate | Archive

  Posted: November 30, 2009, 4:59am EST
  

• Retro Saturday

  1. "I warn you, this obsession with Bob Crane can only end in tears."
  
  2. "Come on, Courtney Love. Loosen up a little. Try some weed. What's the worst that could happen?"
  
  3. "Love your new LPGA haircut Denise!"
  
  4. "Harok-Ptui!"
  
  5.' [...]
  Share | Rate | Archive

  Posted: November 28, 2009, 11:42am EST
  

• You don't have to remember the 70's, we're reliving them.

  
  Divine Miss M
  
  
  Best of Matt the K
  So these things will make me ghey AND retarded?! Yaaaaayyyyyy!!!!!!
  
  Best of dadoctah
  "How come big sister is always using the Sky-sicle mold?"
  
  Best of Carpe Phlogiston
  [...]
  Share | Rate | Archive

  Posted: November 27, 2009, 10:49pm EST
  

• I CAN HAS NECK?

  
  1. Billy couldn't show his face after admitting he liked Twilight.
  
  2. One of Beeker's many bastard sons went on to be a state MVP running back.
  
  3. "OK, let's review once again why we block with our shoulders."
  
  4. Billy's fetish [...]
  Share | Rate | Archive

  Posted: November 27, 2009, 12:00pm EST
  

• The Crack of Dawn

  
  1. "Yes, Rick, I noticed your new thong. No, I'm still not interested."
  
  2. "I'm not one of them fancy metrosexuals, but what I lack in imagination, I make up in sheer savage animal lust. More coffee?"
  
  3. "It all began with the" [...]
  Share | Rate | Archive

  Posted: November 27, 2009, 1:41am EST
  

• This Came Up During My Google Search for "Sexy Pilgrim"

  [...]
  Share | Rate | Archive

  Posted: November 26, 2009, 11:11am EST
  

• Alas, My Google Search for 'Sexy Pilgrim' Produced Unsatisfactory Results

  [...]
  Share | Rate | Archive

  Posted: November 26, 2009, 11:08am EST
  

• Cheers

  AosHQ
  [...]
  Share | Rate | Archive

  Posted: November 26, 2009, 10:02am EST
  

• Kids and Their Beatdowns

  Brender
  
  1. "Just say it right and the beatings will stop! 'Barack Hussein Obama! Mmm! Mmm! Mmm!'" Future Community Organizers of America haze a new recruit.
  
  2. "Oh, sure. Now, you cry. But in kindergarten sex ed, you took a full-on donkey punch" [...]
  Share | Rate | Archive

  Posted: November 25, 2009, 9:21am EST
  

• Weird Science

  Sondra K
  
  1. "That's what dub considers too fat? Dayum!"
  
  2. "Oh! I know! Use a Men in Black reference. Those always make the 'Best ofs'."
  
  3. Sure, they're laughing now, but the next day, Icanhascheezburger was shut down by the [...]
  Share | Rate | Archive

  Posted: November 25, 2009, 6:29am EST
  

• Adam Lambert Sets Back Gay Rights 20 years

  
  1. Adam should have known better than to perform with a drag queen who called herself 'Queef Richards.'
  
  2. If you came of age in the 80s, it's probably best not to let your kids see your prom pictures.
  
  3. Never send a' [...]
  Share | Rate | Archive

  Posted: November 24, 2009, 8:43am EST
  

• Katie Couric Makes Ipecac Superfluous

  
  1. "Aunt Katie, you always dance dirty whenever they play 'Doll Parts.' Is there something about your lost weekend with Courtney Love you're not telling us?"
  
  2. "You can stop dancing, Katie. That 'news report' that Glenn Beck has terminal butt cancer turned out'" [...]
  Share | Rate | Archive

  Posted: November 24, 2009, 7:39am EST
  

• Smirking Butthead

  
  1. "A salute, how cute. Now down on your knees and kneel before your god!"
  
  2. "Nice ass."
  
  3. Valium enemas keep you smiling even while your country collapses around you.
  
  4. Crystal Meth: The Fresh Maker
  
  5. In Andrew [...]
  Share | Rate | Archive

  Posted: November 23, 2009, 11:04am EST
  

• Tae Kwan Dork

  Brender
  
  1. "I had no idea Klingon females enjoyed being fisted."
  
  2. "I see limp posturing coupled by weakness. Your opponents laugh at your attempts to feign strength and resolve. But enough about your foreign policy..."
  
  3. "When I think about the" [...]
  Share | Rate | Archive

  Posted: November 23, 2009, 9:16am EST
  

• A Low Hanging Slow Pitch

  Weasel Zippers
  
  1. "Darn it all to heck! I pay you guys to keep the zombies away from me!"
  
  2. "Who let the dogs out?" Sarah Palin wasn't singing, she had just noticed that Andrea Mitchell and Meredith Viera were in the house.[...]
  Share | Rate | Archive

  Posted: November 21, 2009, 1:59pm EST
  

• Did you hear something?

  
  1. "Sounds like those faggots from Glee are singing 'Single Ladies' again."
  
  2. "If your quarterback can't resist the urge to vogue at the start of every play, you can look forward to an 0-11 season" --- Football for the Modern Coach, p. 127.[...]
  Share | Rate | Archive

  Posted: November 21, 2009, 10:02am EST
  

• Chang You Can Believe In

  Al
  
  1. Chang just caught a whiff of PBO's leadership.
  
  2. Seaman Takei tries to keep a straight face while contemplating the homonym qualities of his rank.
  
  3. Little did Morpheus expect Agent Smith to morph out of a Chinese sailor.
  
  4.' [...]
  Share | Rate | Archive

  Posted: November 20, 2009, 10:49am EST
  

• Aw, Horse Spit

  Brender
  1. Sarah Palin's base as imagined by most of the anchors as MSNBC.
  
  2. Still, it's more sophisticated than the commentary you get from Keith Olbermann.
  
  3. Enumclaw lover's spat.
  
  4. Another feminist spit-take brought to you by the success' [...]
  Share | Rate | Archive

  Posted: November 20, 2009, 9:53am EST
  

• Lt. Major Rack

  
  
  Best of dadoctah
  My favorite thing about Julia is that when you ask her for directions, she points without using her hands.
  
  Best of Carpe Phlogiston
  "Weird Science - Pt 2... Nerds All Growed Up"
  Two bored NOAA meteorologists [...]
  Share | Rate | Archive

  Posted: November 19, 2009, 11:20pm EST
  

• Blame It On the Rain

  
  
  Best of Army of Dad
  Groin stretch: Ur doing it just fine.
  
  Best of Carpe Phlogiston
  Sally figured nobody would notice her taking a quick potty break in mid-field during the downpour.
  Lesson: Never assume
  
  Best of [...]
  Share | Rate | Archive

  Posted: November 19, 2009, 9:13am EST
  

• My Science Project

  Buzzfeed
  
  1. AoM's kid spends a lot of time in the principal's office.
  
  2. "What? I lost to the Smell My Farts kid? F Affirmative Action!"
  
  3. Billy won first prize for being smart enough to preempt Barney Frank's busy, busy hands.[...]
  Share | Rate | Archive

  Posted: November 18, 2009, 11:42am EST
  

• Levity

  
  1. Now, that's a fart.
  
  2. Light in his loafers ... all time champion.
  
  3. La-Z-Boy presents a chair stuffed with the contents of Levi Johnston's head.
  
  4. "Ma! The aliens are abducting me again!"
  
  5. "Dammit, Yoda, put me down." [...]
  Share | Rate | Archive

  Posted: November 18, 2009, 11:08am EST
  

• Despair... Supersized

  Goths in hot weather
  1. Happy Meals would be wasted on these people. Oxygen is wasted on these people.
  
  2. People who definitely will not be buying Sarah Palin's book are often easy to spot.
  
  3. "Oh, look over there, Pat Boone is'" [...]
  Share | Rate | Archive

  Posted: November 17, 2009, 12:24pm EST
  

• Answer: Not Good

  via Buzzfeed
  
  1. As one can see, Barry Sortero's narcissism began at a very young age.
  
  2. Little did young Barry Soetero know that his 6th grade science project would win him the 2010 Nobel Prize for Chemistry.
  
  3. Young Barry Soetero' [...]
  Share | Rate | Archive

  Posted: November 17, 2009, 12:03am EST
  

• Klingons Got No Freakin' Class

  
  1. "Why am I wearing quilted surgical scrubs and Starfleet boots to a Memorial service? Because I loaned my flaming pink "f-ck-me" pumps to Barney Frank, that's why."
  
  2. "Don't you criticize my fashion sense you chalk-faced whore!"
  
  3. Illustration from the forthcoming [...]
  Share | Rate | Archive

  Posted: November 16, 2009, 11:05am EST
  

• Begging for a Ritual Ass-Kicking

  Brender
  
  1. "Hey, there's some cocaine on your shoe."
  
  2. "In my fantasy, he bows the other way," --- Andrew Sullivan.
  
  3. "Oops. my bad, Emperor. For a minute, I thought you were George Soros."
  
  4. "Does this look like head lice?"[...]
  Share | Rate | Archive

  Posted: November 16, 2009, 12:04am EST
  

• Because I can't do that Rollover thingy Sondra K does...

  H/T Nice Deb
  [...]
  Share | Rate | Archive

  Posted: November 16, 2009, 12:01am EST
  

• Literally!

  [...]
  Share | Rate | Archive

  Posted: November 15, 2009, 5:06am EST