Daily Dollop

• NONE TO GO!!

  Number of comments: 1
  You can probably guess how my morning went:
  
  1) Wake kids up at seven
  2) Drop kids off at seven ten with woman who will take them to school at seven fifty
  3) Go to airport
  4) Begin pestering desk personnel about whether or not the plane has landed
  [...]
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  Posted: November 17, 2009, 3:33pm EST
  by Plebian

• Ten Down, ONE to Go

  Number of comments: 2
  Sunday dawned clear and cold, and I knew exactly two things: I was now 24 hours away from having Wifey back, and somebody was breathing on the back of my neck at 7:00 in the morning.
  
  I quickly came to the only logical conclusion (some kind of Freddy Kreuger/Jason [...]
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  Posted: November 16, 2009, 5:14pm EST
  by Plebian

• Football, Math, and Cowards

  Number of comments: 2
  So everybody and his grandmother is piling on Bill Belichick's decision to go for it on 4th-and-2 from the Patriot's own 28. It's the "safe" attack in sports talk right now, like when you want to make fun of Mike Tyson for being a cannibal or Al Davis for being [...]
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  Posted: November 16, 2009, 4:18pm EST
  by Plebian

• Nine Down, Two to Go

  Number of comments: 0
  I stare into the abyss, my soul a smoking ruin of what I thought it once was. I have transgressed every boundary, indulged in fiendish taboo, and done things which will haunt me the rest of my days. Truly, I have no need to search out any longer the heart [...]
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  Posted: November 14, 2009, 5:13pm EST
  by Plebian

• Eight Down, Three to Go

  Number of comments: 0
  I think even the most casual of my blog readers would know that I'm all about safety. That's why when Wifey left last Friday, I gave her cell phone to the girl with strict instructions: if she became concerned or nervous, or found herself waiting for me with her brother [...]
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  Posted: November 13, 2009, 5:10pm EST
  by Plebian

• Seven Down, Four to Go

  Number of comments: 0
  The children saved my life this morning.
  
  No, really! Typically I leave the house around 7:30, but owing to Wifey's prolonged vacation in hell, I have to wait until 7:55 to leave. Today, I had to wait tons of time in a traffic jam on the interstate on the' [...]
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  Posted: November 12, 2009, 3:59pm EST
  by Plebian

• Six Down, Five to Go

  Number of comments: 0
  I am so screwed when Wifey gets back. And not in the good "she spent days strolling through erotic lingerie boutiques looking for things to please her adoring husband" way, but in the bad "I made the travel plans which have turned her life into a living hell" way.
  
  [...]
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  Posted: November 11, 2009, 3:54pm EST
  by Plebian

• Five down, six to go

  Number of comments: 1
  Today, I vowed that regardless of what came to pass, there would be one goal at which I would surely succeed, regardless of cost or consequence: I would at long last cast off this thrice-damned cold, nasal drip and all.
  
  Having made this vow, though, I was unsure of [...]
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  Posted: November 10, 2009, 3:46pm EST
  by Plebian

• Four down, 7 to go

  Number of comments: 0
  Do you know what the difference between mommies and daddies is?
  
  It's that mommies use a variety of psychological weapons (from guilt to threatening to the intricate bonds of love) to help make their children into fully functional adults. It takes many years, it's very tricky business, and it [...]
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  Posted: November 09, 2009, 4:22pm EST
  by Plebian

• Three Down, Eight to Go

  Number of comments: 1
  When I awoke this morning, the only way that I knew that I hadn't been slaughtered by an errant poltergeist overnight was the feeling of cotton slowly swelling my groggy, befuddled head.
  
  Ye gods, what a night!
  
  I went to bed early because I was horrifically stuffy and' [...]
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  Posted: November 08, 2009, 4:31pm EST
  by Plebian

• This is the End...of Day 2

  Number of comments: 0
  The kids are in bed. My head is throbbing. But I've reached the end of the second day of being without Wifey. Which, if you think about it, is really the first full day. But I digress...
  
  After I'd showered and shaved, I felt somewhat better. We went and [...]
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  Posted: November 07, 2009, 3:41pm EST
  by Plebian

• Morning, day 2

  Number of comments: 0
  By my reckoning, I've spent over 120 nights away from home since we moved here, or about 1/3 of a year. Four whole months. On those nights Wifey is solely responsible for everything to do with putting the kids to bed, and then turning out the house, and then going' [...]
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  Posted: November 07, 2009, 3:43am EST
  by Plebian

• One down, Ten to go

  Number of comments: 1
  And so, dear reader, we reach the end of day 1. The children are in bed, I'm sitting down at the computer, and Wifey's…well, I'm not so sure where Wifey is. Probably on a beach getting suntan oil rubbed on her back or something.
  
  Before she left, Wifey made' [...]
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  Posted: November 06, 2009, 3:45pm EST
  by Plebian

• Home Alone

  Number of comments: 2
  Earlier this year, despite the gloomy economic climate and my general worthlessness as an employee, my company offered me a contract extension to remain overseas for a few more years, and I accepted. That evening, I came home and told Wifey the good news.
  
  "Guess what? I got a" [...]
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  Posted: November 06, 2009, 11:36am EST
  by Plebian

• Back to normal

  Number of comments: 0
  Okay, so we're going to go back to the satire/humor angle I'm used to working, starting with the next post. That last one was kind of an aberration, see. It's not like I'm wise, or thoughtful, or even very bright.
  
  And for all those of you who have been [...]
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  Posted: November 06, 2009, 11:34am EST
  by Plebian

• Rope a dope?

  Number of comments: 8
  So I'm reading American Lion, the biography of Andrew Jackson. As a Tennesseean, I have always loved Jackson. He's basically the only TN president worth a damn (the others are Johnson, famous for being impeached, and Polk, famous for, uh, having a name very close to a common meat product).
  [...]
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  Posted: November 05, 2009, 4:32pm EST
  by Plebian

• So, yeah, it's been a while

  Number of comments: 0
  Yeah, yeah, I know; it's been a while. A long while. I've been rather swamped at work. On the one hand, this is a good thing: the whole global recession hasn't really impacted me at all. On the other hand, it pretty much killed off my blog.
  
  But, I' [...]
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  Posted: November 05, 2009, 4:29pm EST
  by Plebian