2009 Ride: No. 99 Roush Racing Ford
2009 Primary Sponsors: AFLAC, Subway, Claritin
2009 Car Owner: Jack Roush
2009 Crew Chief: Bob Osborne
Stats: 36 Races, Wins, 7 Top 5s, 14 Top 10s, 3...
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Author’s note: Since the 2009 season was really just a bad re-run of 2008, I simply modified last season’s “end of the year Top Ten.” As long as there is a Chase and Jimmie keeps winning it,...
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Nearly two and a half years ago, I penned an article titled, Surprise! NASCAR’s Version of Reality Slightly Skewered.
What prompted that fine piece of writing, besides having a bit too much time...
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10. Other drivers hire Tonya Harding to give Jimmie a good “knee whacking.” (But this year, they whack both knees and an elbow, too!)
9. Chad Knaus decides he is tired of “babysitting”...
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Yes, you read the headline correctly… and no, this is NOT another edition of BSNews!
Almost before NASCAR could decide the “official results” for last Sunday’s AMP Energy 500 at...
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10. Realized that the fans in Fontana might be on to something and checked out the ‘shopping’ under the grandstands.
9. Look for the No-Doz vendors Tony’s crew chief spoke of over the radio.
8....
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(Daytona Beach, FL) — BSNews has learned that top officials in NASCAR plan to file a lawsuit against toymaker Fisher-Price unless some fundamental changes are made to one of its products that...
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10. “All them other rednecks took him snipe hunting and he was late for the start.”
9. “NASCAR was raided by INS, so Juan had to hide for awhile.”
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This last Tuesday, Burger King and Tony Stewart held a very special live ‘web event’. In case you missed it, basically what happened was, Burger King strapped Tony to a chair, hooked him up to a lie...
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10. Who creeps you out the most? The Burger King ‘King’ or Brian France?
9. What did you really have to give Gene Haas for the sign to read “SHR” instead of “HSR”?
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As I announced at the end of one of my columns a couple of weeks ago, I recently became a grandfather. Reid Cain Doyle was born to my daughter Erin and her husband, Ron, on August 24th.
Since that...
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10. The Chase will start with the 12 most deserving drivers in it.
9. An anonymous call will be received by the North Mecklenburg County Crime Stoppers (at 704-896-7867), claiming Denny Hamlin’s...
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As I continue this little stroll down memory lane, I want to take a moment to comment on some of the comments from yesterday.
A couple of readers, who called themselves Todd and Mike, so I will...
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Remember when NASCAR used to be fun? After doing this here writing gig for Frontstretch.com almost six years, I sometimes lose sight of the fact on just how much fun it was, say, five years ago....
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10. If they really, really have to, Goodyear can make a decent product.
9. Canadian fans are more important to NASCAR than American fans, seeing as how quickly they made the correct decision to...
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Lately there has been a lot of talk about switching to a fuel injection system versus a carburetor in NASCAR. The question I have is; why? Why do we have to mess with one more ‘tradition’ of this...
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Wow, who’d have thunk it? First we were given the “Car of Tomorrow”, but now we have the “Car of the Heartland”?! The Car of the Heartland is the head scratching brain child of Furniture Row Racing...
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10. Now that he has saved the rest of the country, he figured he’d work on NASCAR.
9. Wanted to make sure the government bailout money given to the auto industry was going to good use.
8....
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I’m sure I’m going to take a lot of flak for this one, but nonetheless, here goes…
Jason Myers, former Car Chief for the No. 99 Aflac Ford, was fired back on February 17th of this year by Roush...
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10. May be able to sign Discovery Channel’s series “Wrecked” as a sponsor.
9. Doesn’t have to worry about a “souvenir deal” percentage rate like he does with Kurt Busch.
8. Can...
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Yesterday on this very frontpage, my esteemed colleague, Vito Pugliese (and I hope I spelled that right, ‘cuz I’m pretty sure he has some pretty heavy “family” ties) seemed to have a problem...
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10. The makers of Adderall. Well, until they lose interest.
9. Claritin-D. Hey, if he’s innocent, they owe him.
8. Aegis Labs. Let’s face it, he’ll be there a lot.
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Last season, Kelly Bires was one of the up-and-coming drivers in the Nationwide Series, finishing 13th in points with six top 10 finishes. This year … he’s been forced to take pretty much...
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A lot is being said lately, by fans and media alike, about the “credibility” of NASCAR and, quite frankly, I find it a bit surprising. I mean, c’mon people… where have you been?...
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Daytona Beach, FL (BSNews) – Secret agents from the Florida Department of Law Enforcement searched the homes of two Florida men, claiming they bilked over 5.4 million dollars from NASCAR...
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As with any sport, game or competition in general, there are going to be high levels of emotions. That is a given, but there is a time and place for those emotions AND there are proper ways and...
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10. Their “hay day” has long past.
9. Both have produced an occasional “Thriller,” but not very often.
8. Unless there is a tragic fire, both will be the same color when...
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Hey look, I know times are tough, but has this sport finally reached a point where a man must sell his soul for a sponsor?
I speak mainly of Joe Nemechek, Kevin Conway, Steve and Rusty Wallace and...
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10. It’s the week before the Fourth of July, and most folks stayed home this weekend so they could afford to go out.
9. Most of “Junior Nation” cashed in their “end of the month...
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For those that have missed the obvious in the past, I will state it again…very slowly. Read my lips—the old adage of ‘Win on Sunday, Sell on Monday’ is as dead as two of the ‘Big 3’...
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10. Michael Waltrip Racing
9. No Miss Terri DeBris cautions
8. No earthquakes, wildfires, mudslides, gay marriage ballot or anything else like that to dominate the California news.
7. Jimmie...
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In light of recent events that took place last week during the Nationwide race in Nashville, TN, during which two sponsor reps from one team claim a racial slur was directed at their driver by an...
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10. Well, the way things are going, that’s about all that’s left.
9. It might not be what Brian France had in mind, but it is diversity!
8. Who wouldn’t like to see a Lexus hit the...
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Before I get into the meat and potatoes of this article, I want to apologize to my readers for some headaches that it may induce. You see, I am going to be including quotes from NASCAR CEO Brian...
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Over the last couple of weeks, ever since the rumors started flying about the demise of Tony Eury, Jr. as Dale, Jr.’s crew chief, the ‘media’ has reported several times, in various ways that “studies...
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Live! From Miami-Dade County, Florida, where 57.3 percent of the population is Hispanic, 20.7 percent White-non Hispanic, 20.3 percent Black, and “Other” and “Mixed”...
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For the last few days, I have been hearing some “busyness” going on in the BSNews room… which happens to be adjacent to my bedroom. There was a lot of thumping and bumping, the...
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10. “I had dinner at Brian France’s place the other night. I thought the oregano in the spaghetti sauce smelled funny!”
9. “I gave Shane Hmiel a ride home the other night and you know the old...
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Last week’s Voices From The Heartland dealt with NASCAR’s proclivity for allowing drivers to qualify below the (double) yellow, out of bounds line at Talladega. Some readers understood where I was...
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(Wikipedia defines a bromance as a “close, but non-sexual relationship between two men, a form of ‘homosocial intimacy’” — as mentioned in Phil Allaway’s rundown of last...
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What a difference a half a year makes!
A little over six months ago, we had a lot to write about after the race at Talladega. Seems that a mostly unknown rookie almost won a Cup race at Talladega....
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10. “C’mon Kes, time to hook up! We gots to go!”
9. “Wow, Red Bull really does give you wings!”
8. “OK Brad, keep pushing … and be happy with a second-place finish!”
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When it comes to being ecologically sound, I will be the first to admit that I am not a good person. I refuse to sort my trash into three different bins; I do not rinse out every can or empty jar....
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10. Got tired of babysitting his brother’s kids for minimum wage.
9. Couldn’t get Brian France to stop making monkey noises during the board meetings.
8. Bruton Smith (who does kinda look like...
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A couple of weeks ago, an obscure journalist named Richie Whitt rose up once again and proved that the only wit he does possess is in his name. I say ‘once again’ because some of you long time...
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Author’s Note: It has become sort of a tradition (looking back) that around Easter, this list has usually done something about Easter eggs and the creative places certain NASCAR personalities may...
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It was reported this last week that the defending Camping World Truck Series champion, Johnny Benson, had a sponsorship dilemma. The team’s lack of sponsorship was already well known. The...
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10. His new wife had begun to question him: “I thought you said you were good at this racing stuff?”
9. He and Jeff Hammond had plans for later in the evening and Gordon needed...
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This past Tuesday, March 31st, BSNews Senior Reporter Stu Padasso had the opportunity to spend a day shadowing NASCAR’s CEO Brian France at the sport’s corporate headquarters in Daytona Beach,...
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10. Enroll in a public speaking class at a local community college.
9. Donate $5 million of his own money to the NAACP in honor of Mauricia Grant.
8. Give Goodyear an ultimatum: Get with the...
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Last week I reported, in part, about the press conference held at Lowe’s Motor Speedway that announced another press conference would be forthcoming in a couple of weeks. Oh, that’s...
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Aside from anything Brian France says whenever he opens his mouth, I found a few interesting news items this past week that has left me scratching my scalp in wonderment.
First off, we have Robby...
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10. Let them use the newly named “Robby Gordon Memorial Shortcut” through the infield so they stay more competitive.
9. Instead of a ‘remote kill’ switch, such as used in monster truck events,...
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For the last two weekends, I have been in Las Vegas. The first weekend, I was there with my girlfriend and a couple of friends to take in the wonders of Las Vegas Motor Speedway. The second weekend,...
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Everyone is talking about how boring the events (well the racing ones, anyway) are at California’s Auto Club Speedway; and quite frankly, I would have to agree. Of all the tracks that the Series...
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10. Secure sponsorship for various cars from the Crips, Bloods, and other notorious gangs.
9. Help NASCAR’s diversity endeavor by replacing regular pit crews with said gang members.
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Like most Cup racing fans out there, I, too, have a driver that I like to dislike more than others. I don’t take it to the level that some people do and actually “hate” the guy, mainly...
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10. The conception of Brian France in the first place (had to have been a “mistake”).
9. Goodyear unveiling their new line of condoms (maybe that is what happened with No. 10!).
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Normally, as we dive into all the hype that NASCAR inevitably creates heading into the Daytona 500, I really don’t get all that excited. ‘Cause let’s face it: the “Great American...
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10. Inadvertently brought a CoY instead of a CoT.
9. Forgot to put Stabil in the tank last year.
8. At 74 years old, damned if he could remember where he put those keys!
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While NASCAR’s CEO Brian France has been accused of being many things, no one can say that he — and the many minions that surround him — are lazy. After all, running a profit mill, saving...
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10. Jimmie Johnson wins the now totally worthless Bud Shootout, is crowned 2009 Cup Champion after the race, and Brian France cancels the rest of the meaningless season in his ultimate plan to cut...
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10. Pretended to befriend Brad Keselowski, gave him his sun goggles to wear, slapped him on the back, and sent him on his way.
9. Dressed up as a Budweiser guy removing empty kegs from the...
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10. Two lap penalty for “rough, but extremely funny and satisfying” driving.
9. With the whole “Mo” lawsuit going on, you can’t punish the only living symbol of NASCAR...
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Yes, you read the headline correctly. And yes, you correctly (I hope) recognized right away that it is probably the best example of literary sarcasm ever written by me.
As you read the following...
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Life is full of age old questions. Like… if you were walking around with your fly undone, would you want someone to tell you? Or, if the slacks you chose made your caboose look, well, as big as...
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2008 Ride: No. 44 Michael Waltrip Racing Toyota
2008 Primary Sponsor: UPS
2008 Owner: Michael Waltrip
2008 Crew Chief: Bill Pappas
Stats: 5 Races, Wins, Top 5s, Top 10s, 1 DNF, 54th in...
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Let’s start with Jimmie Johnson.
While I refuse to compare Jimmie to Cale Yarborough, for the two are uncomparable, it is at this time that I formally congratulate Jimmie Johnson for winning three...
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10. Brian France could disappear off the face of the earth tomorrow and no one would notice. Well OK, we would notice because someone with some competence would be running the show. However, this guy...
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Yes, you read the headline correctly. And yes, you correctly (I hope) recognized right away that it is probably the best example of literary sarcasm ever written by me.
As you read the following...
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Last week, this space was solely devoted to what needs to happen for NASCAR, as a sport, to keep from fading into oblivion. At the top of that list was the total removal of Brian France as the head...
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10. According to Ford, Texas Motor Speedway is more akin to “highway driving” than, say, Martinsville.
9. Brian France mandated Jeff Gordon and Carl were to have slightly bigger tanks...
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I have an extremely low tolerance for ‘stupid’. Fortunately for me, seeing as how ‘stupid’ has reached epidemic proportions worldwide, I have a built in antidote. That antidote consists of 50%...
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Author’s note: This list is a revision of one I wrote about one year ago! It’s sad how apropo it is today as when I wrote it last year — ‘cept for the Jeff Gordon part!
10....
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If you come to this website looking for a bunch of happy, fluffy, feel good articles about NASCAR and some of its more colorful characters, my writings are probably not your first stop. Even if I do...
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Let’s face it, the NASCAR we grew up with is long gone. It’s so obvious; but just to prove it, let’s take a look at the various aspects of the sport today.
The Car
The infamous CoT,...
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10. “It was great to see the front and sniff a little bit of the lead of the race with 25 [laps] to go.” – Kurt Busch
(Oooo, that smell! Can’t ya smell that smell?!)
9....
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I am not a journalist. I am a columnist. As such, I can report or write about the facts as I interpret them. Let’s face it, it’s one of the reasons y’all love me so much… or vice...
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Imagine, if you will, that I am extremely rich. I have enough money to fund the bailout of the bank crisis several times over (not that I would bail them out — they deserve no sympathy for...
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10. They are hoping to get in with a good team… like Ganassi or Michael Waltrip Racing.
9. They are tired of all the “TEI” jokes. You know, like “The End is...
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I came across a quote by Sir Barnett Cocks the other day that reminded me of the pansies that run NASCAR:
“A committee is a cul-de-sac down which ideas are lured — and then quietly...
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10. It has given Brian France a sense of “self worth” and “immortality.”
9. It has created tons of “lost revenue” tax writeoffs for NASCAR.
8. It has...
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BSNews – Bobby Hamilton, Jr.
Team Rensi Motorsports is facing a December shutdown if new sponsorship cannot be found, but Nationwide Series driver Bobby Hamilton, Jr. says he is not ready...
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Every once in awhile, something is publicized that, when you read it, leaves you scratching you head (or other parts of your anatomy) wondering — just where the heck did that come from? Such is...
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10. Tony Stewart probably doesn’t even know who Dr. Hook is.
9. “…A cloud of greasy black smoke from Johnson’s celebratory rubber burn wafts over…” Black smoke from a burnout? Ain’t never...
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Being the egotistical sort of creature that I am, I often — upon hearing certain news items come out of the NASCAR garage — go back through my archives to assure myself that I do, in...
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In the spirit of diversity, and seeing as how some things never change, especially when dealing with a NASCAR race in Fontana, today’s Top Ten may look a bit different, but yet slightly familiar....
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Last year about this time, I penned a column about the racing at Bristol that eventually led to the severe hair loss of several senior members of the Frontstretch Editorial staff.
The problem, it...
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10. At least one of the nights, you passed out in one place and woke up somewhere completely different — with no recollection of how you did that.
9. You spent at least one day vowing to...
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What you are about to read is NOT déjà vu. It is all too true. Most of it was written two years ago this very week. It is sad that it must be revisited really, because I am neurotic enough without...
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10. StarvingPeasant.com not allowed to sponsor a car.
9. Colossal statues and portraits of “Chairman Brian” begin popping up everywhere at all ISC tracks.
8. NASCAR rulebook...
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Once in awhile, something happens in the world of NASCAR that affords me the opportunity to be one of those annoying guys that no one wants to share a beverage with. You know the kind – the guy who...
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And remember your momma’s advice; if you can’t say something nice…
10. Kurt Busch: Since his little brother came along, Kurt is a really nice and likable fellow.
9. Brad Daugherty: He looks...
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(BSNEWS – Indianapolis) — Last Sunday’s Allstate 400, presented by NASCAR and Goodyear at the fabled “Brickyard…”
And now, back to our regularly scheduled column…
In all...
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It had been four years since I last visited the great city of St. Louis. At that time, I attended a (then) Busch Series race at Gateway International Raceway, which, as you will see if you click on...
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10. Hearing or seeing Bill Weber.
9. An in-depth explanation of how a rotor — or any number of other parts work — all while being shown to me on some sponsored cutaway car.
8....
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