Or, The Crazy-Eyed Peacock Octo-Turkey Bandit Finds a Home
So. Thanksgiving happened. Time to put the food where my braggy mouth is. Photos, confessions, and plenty o' dorkwads, ahoy!
If there's anything better than homemade piecrust, it's husbandmade homemade piecrust.
Noah's school was thoughtful enough to provide a timely craft this week, in the form of this tasteful, understated centerpiece:
I feel like it's either going to take a candy-colored shit on the table or hold us up at gunpoint for some stuffing.
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Have I told you that [...]
1) Learning to properly blow one's own nose is, in fact, a highly advanced skill. If you are able to blow your own nose, congratulations! You've accomplished something with your life after all.
2) Even AFTER one has learned and is perfectly capable of blowing one's own nose, it may [...]
Oh hi, this is me, typing with no head. It blew off. Or up. I don't know. I don't remember. Your head is where you keep your memory. All I know is that one day I looked around and realized that I have an freaking buttload of deadlines and work [...]
I just got back from a parents' workshop thing at Noah's school. And it was a very useful workshop, really, about how to encourage fine and gross motor development through toys and play at home. I was especially pleased to learn that I can totally do all of Noah's Christmas [...]
Oh my God!
You guys!
In between all the craziness of...uh...sleeping and eating and taking like, THREE WHOLE SHOWERS IN FIVE DAYS, I completely forgot to tell you about the most exciting thing to happen to me ever in my whole life:
AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
PHHHHHHFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTBBBBBB!
...is [...]
Listen, we're kind of busy over here today, but Zah really wanted to say hi.
HI.
HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII.
I have four whole molars now. JELUS?
Oh, he also wanted to write a comment about [...]
Honestly, he's done it for as long as I can remember -- as soon as Noah had the vocabulary down, he described songs in terms of color. One day he asked for the "yellow song," and sobbed while I offered up track after incorrect track of Raffi and Dan Zanes, [...]
Hmm, okay. So yesterday's post was kind a of preachy "we're all fucked and going to die" thing, wasn't it? Let's change the subject. More topics and questions posed by you, the people:
From Danielle:
I remember you mentioned doing the 30 day shred a while ago.. How did that work out? Did [...]
Since you guys proposed SO MANY awesome topics yesterday Tuesday, I shall continue to mine them for awhile, or at least until something actually important happens in real life that requires a veryimportantblogupdate!, and no, I'm not counting last night's Tuesday night's all-night preschooler-puke-a-thon. (He's just fine now, of course, [...]
I've been sitting here all morning -- yes, actually physically here, in this virtual white space of my publishing platform, it's kind of like Tron -- trying to think of something to write about. And having a bit of trouble. I'm tired, I'm congested, I've just discovered that this "parent-teacher [...]
Update! I survived Swine Flu 2009. Or...Faux Swine Flu 2009, probably, since my fever never cranked up much past 99 degrees and I was feeling mostly human again by Sunday. (Although if you take my temperature on a perfectly healthy day you will likely get something like 96.6, so it's [...]
I appear to have, as Sundry put it, a touch of the Hamthrax. Or some kind of flu. I went to bed with the beginnings of what I assumed was a cold and woke up in the grips of some horrible, lung-hacking, breath-sucking, stomach-purging, body-aching, I'm-hot-no-I'm-cold-so-cold-oh-my-God-get-these-covers-OFF-ME type of illness.
It's [...]
FULL DISCLOSURE: These are not paid product reviews. If they were, I probably would not get paid, because I'm not sure toy companies appreciate being compared to monstrous black magic hell demons. The links are Amazon Associates, meaning if you decide to buy a monstrous black magic hell demon today, [...]
Much like last year, Noah refused to wear a costume to school. "NO COSTUME," he shrieked at the merest suggestion of dressing up. "JUST NOAH."
At one point he said he wanted to be the house from UP -- purposely choosing the most terrifying cinematic experience of the past [...]
