Brett used to have a GPS on loan from his job and he loved it, oh how he loved it! The kids and I named it Veronica and referred to it as “Daddy’s girlfriend, Veronica.”
I happened upon a sweet deal on a new GPS and after consulting with Noah, decided [...]
David, may this day be the start of a beautiful, beautiful year. Happy birthday!
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Thanksgiving 2008
Thanksgiving 2009
Gratuitous siblinghood
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My family both immediate and extended with a special prayer of thanks for my husband for putting up with me (but then I put up with him so I’d say it’s an even trade).
My mentors who have helped and continued to help me figure out this elusive [...]
I haven’t read The Road and I’m not going to and — looking at the trailer — I’m not going to see the movie either. It scares the hell out of me.
I’ve always had apocalyptic dreams although they went up a notch in my teens. The [...]
1. Got heads up on a project to try out for that has me kind of excited. I like the start of things — the research and planning and learning something new. I love it!
2. I wrote a guest post on the Bitch blog on (surprise!) [...]
We went over to Pennie’s house yesterday to celebrate her birthday and Madison said, “Mommy, would you feel bad if I thought Pennie was prettier than you?”
And I said, “Of course.”
No, I said, “Nope, I think Pennie’s beautiful.”
And she said, “Oh, OK. I think Pennie’s prettier than you are.”
She is, [...]
This is a topic that is very timely for me (Thanksgivingmom) right now, but is something that all of us in open adoption deal with at least once during the year: birthdays.I know that birthdays can be an extremely emotional time, for everyone connected to adoption, not [...]
I didn’t get a response but Abby got one and then she forwarded the post that went out to the whole list.
It was just been brought to our attention, that this year’s UWWG t-shirt logo design appears to some to be depicting a black clown and thus offending some as [...]
Because I am cheap and because my budget is tight and because I hate malls with the power of 1000 hot burning suns and because Allyo was talking about downsizing her toy stash, I decided to host a used toy/book/clothes exchange the Saturday after Thanksgiving.
This is how it’s going [...]
I was going to try to write a post about being an over-thinker but I couldn’t make it funny. Let’s just say I know I think about things too much but that’s how I like it. If I thought about ‘em less, I’d have a lot less fun in the [...]
A friend of mine is looking for support around her need to find her child a residential treatment center for mental health issues. My friend adopted her child in a situation that is very similar to foster-to-adopt and their adoption is open as safety allows. She has been a helpful [...]
I’ll say right up front that I think the racism that I see (indeed the little monkey clown thing) is unintentional. I betcha the t-shirt was designed by a kid and I am 99.9% sure that the kid [...]
We’re having a discussion at potluck. Lemme know in the comments! Thanks! (on and click to make bigger)
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When I was a kid our house lived at the top of a hill. I would ride down the hill so that I could cross the backyards of our neighbors by the river and head into 4500. This was the neighborhood next to ours with sprawling properties including a Victorian [...]
Wavybrains said:
I also walk around wondering how “everyone else” manages to cook from scratch, wrangle toddlers, get writing time, get family time, and work on top of it. What’s funny is that I had you squarely in the “Everyone else” category–I’m always amazed at everything you manage to get [...]
My original plan was to use this month to do some soul searching only I haven’t had time to do any soul searching, which is one of the things I wanted to search my soul about. I have not been happy, oh dear internets, for what feels like a long [...]
I forgot to update my blog yesterday so I officially tanked on NaNoBloMo. But I’m not going to let that stop me! I’m gonna pick myself right back up and act like it never happened although I was thisclose to forgetting to update today, too. (What can I say — [...]
Except for using it to watch Hulu while I did Madison’s hair this morning and getting a surprise lecture on VD by Bill Cosby courtesy of Fat Albert. After I got done laughing, I posted it to facebook. You can see the clip here. Awesomeness!
I’m trying to get a [...]
Skila and Tatjana both asked about openness in international adoptions in regards to my Roundtable post. Specifically, should adoptive parents push for openness? Tatjana said:
This is very much the predominant point of view re searching for birth families of internationally adopted children here in NL due to *very [...]
(Click to make bigger — that’s Pennie’s dad at the head there.
Note Madison’s stuffed to the limit cheeks!!!!)
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This round we’re going to consider one critique of fully open adoptions. Have you ever heard–or perhaps even made–statements like these?
“We have medical histories and can share the information we have about their birth parents with our children now. If they feel a need to initiate [...]I’m making banana waffles for the kids right now and clearing out my work inbox at the same time. (That’s why waffles are nicer than pancakes when you’re multitasking — more downtime between waffle rounds.) Our kitchen is well-stocked even though we’re only a few days away from the end [...]
Another tooth down! Click for full gorgeousness!!
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It’s only the third day of NaNoBloPo and here I am already thisclose to flaking. When in doubt, list post!
Madison is “cleaning” up the floor with her bed pillow. She’s sliding down the hall on it and she says it’s picking up the dirt. Awesomeness. Really it’s a help because [...]That’s what Madison has taken to calling Pennie. She says, “You know, my real real mama.” When she talks about her adoption, she says, “It’s hard to miss your real real mama.” They were talking about adoption on Arthur today (you know, for National Adoption Month and all) and she [...]
I think I’ll make this a monthly thing.
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Even though I am still sick sick sick (and sick) and so not thinking very straight (and can’t talk at all — my voice is gone) I wanted to chime in on this over at Letters to a Birthmother:
Despite our firm belief that overall openness is a good thing–the right [...]
I’ve shared my most favorite open adoption picture before but I’m sharing it again because it’s just that good.
This is a picture of Madison asking Pennie about her birth three years ago. That’s 2-year old Madison there in her spooky Halloween shirt and there’s Pennie growing out her hair [...]
My mom and niece are both out with the same thing (ridiculously sore throat) and we were all eating cake together on Sunday so I think it’s something new. Madison is growling over on the couch about the state of the world so I’ll be watching her closely, too, since [...]
I’ve written here before that Madison has become afraid of bridges. Brett got her a book from the library that showed her how bridges are built to reassure her that they’re safe. She was kind of convinced until they got to the picture of the wooden bridge that was all [...]
They changed the rules and now it’s about the most compelling comment (I don’t think the most comments, I think the most compelling comment) to decide who wins, which means maybe I have a chance to donate a thousand bucks to [...]
I’m trying to find two papers I wrote for history classes way back when to send back to the professor. She agreed to write me a recommendation for grad school and asked to see any old blue books or research papers I had and I haven’t been able to find [...]
It’s making the rounds of the adoption blogs.
There is a child who needs a home because his current home is no longer safe. This child has hurt his sisters and his family can’t keep him there and keep their other children safe. This is not a case of not bonding [...]
I am relieved that I don’t have to click buttons anymore or ask you all to click buttons. When I get the results, I’ll let you know. I am totally hung over on the vestiges of this cold and not thinking all that clearly right now (working on my third [...]
An adoptive mom on my facebook said in response to my “vote for me” post, “Are there any moderates in this contest?” Because she thinks I’m a little extreme.
I know that theoretically people see me as extreme but I swear to goodness, I think I’m pretty even-handed.
Not that I would [...]
First let me say that I love Mount Carmel West. Love them. They went above and beyond for Madison. A special shout out to childbirth educator Marie for calling yesterday to make sure she had all of our complicated details straight. Madison just now said, “I want to go back [...]
Edited to add: Thanks so much for the excellent feedback!!! I did end up finding the fabulous history teacher I had (history of feminism, FTW!) and she said she’d write it for me! Hooray!
So I’m working on getting my stuff together for grad school (haven’t scheduled the GRE yet — [...]
Madison is going to visit the hospital where she was born this Thursday. She’s going for her big sister tour because this is also the hospital where her baby brother Roscoe will be born a week from Friday. (A week from Friday!!!!!!!! So excited!!)
Madison has wanted to visit the hospital [...]
Because really, what do I have to whine about? That I have a job? That my friends don’t understand every subtle nuance of my life? (As if I understand every subtle nuance of theirs?)
Gratitude list:
Fab husband Fab kids Often fab job (although sometimes annoying as is a job’s wont) Fab family Fab friends (if [...]
I really did. Brett is Lloyd Dobbler without the kick-boxing and maybe just a little more awkward.
I have this theory about relationships, which is that only one person can be a star at a time and that a good relationship [...]
Brett’s hours got cut again so he’s now working about 24 hours a week and our budget can’t sustain it. So he’s looking for supplementary work in the hopes that his friend’s business bounces back and he can go back to full-time. When he took the job there was over-time, [...]
Maryanne (in the comment to the post previous) said:
In reading a little about homeschooling, I’ve gotten the (probably skewed) impression that most homeschoolers are Christian Fundamentalists, which you are not. Do you have to deal with these people and materials in the homeschooling world or are you totally on your [...]
Compared with pre-Roe days, today women with unplanned pregnancies have access to far more information about their alternatives. However, Fessler says, they frequently encounter CPCs that pressure them to give the child to a family with better resources. “Part of the big picture for a young woman who’s pregnant,” she [...]
Back to this post.
I just keep thinking about this as a writer and as a (small-time) activist. I want to understand the universal in my specifics and I want to understand when I’m mistakenly extending my experience to other people.
I was thinking on this after I read momartfully’s excellent [...]
You all know that I love homeschooling — that it jives with my values and it (so far) meets my kids’ needs. But I’ve been thinking on how much privilege it takes to be a homeschooler and thinking about how I need to acknowledge that. Because we homeschoolers can get [...]
In case you were wondering — it’s going sucky, thanks. I’m telling you this to reassure you in case your exercise routine is also going sucky because I’m running anyway and that’s supposed to be the encouraging part.
At the beginning I was having regular progress despite these lousy shin splints [...]
Like the rest of the United States, my mind is heading to back to school even though no one who lives in my house is going back to school this fall. Thing is, even if you homeschool it’s impossible not to hearken back to your own schooling memories or get [...]
Someone emailed me late last night looking for either money or publicity or both in her fight for custody of her daughter. Although technically the child isn’t her daughter yet because the adoption cannot be finalized because the first dad is fighting the adoption.
The situation is (according to a-mom) worst [...]
(This was a review by request)
Ok, so go see Madison reviewing the Vtech Bugsby Learning System, which she finds very amusing. I don’t love the electronic toys (except for my iPod) but I don’t think they’re evil incarnate either so when they offered to send her one, I said [...]
Tami at Anti-Racist Parent is working hard on a revamp of the site and wants your input! Please take the time to fill out her survey and let her know what you want to see at the blog! Note: Even if you’ve never ever ever looked at the blog she [...]
Noah is hanging out with friends today so it’s just Madison and me. Right now she’s watching her PBS shows and eating frozen grapes (her new favorite snack). Even though it’s humid — even down here in our basement — she’s got a blanket over her because she likes to [...]
I’m angry at Madison’s birth dad. I’m not just angry, I’m furious.
There are three relationships with him in my life. Madison’s, Pennie’s and my own. (Brett is totally shut down about it — he gratefully gives over all emotional care for this stuff to me because it’s way too much [...]
For my own records, below the cut!
(...)
Read the rest of Twice a Month Cooking for August (327 words)
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In yesterday’s spate of picture making, Madison also drew a picture of her two families. She drew herself with Pennie, Tommy and Roscoe and she drew herself with Brett, Noah and me. She also drew a picture of Roscoe and herself standing on either side of Pennie and me.
Pennie and [...]
Madison drew a bunch of pictures today. She drew a really cute one of Pennie holding Roscoe in a sling. Then she drew one of us all lined up — Madison, Pennie, me and Roscoe. Then one of Pennie and Tommy getting married flanked by Roscoe and Madison. And then [...]
I can’t shake the cotton wool clouding up my brain and so seems like every thing work-related is taking longer. I think I’ve developed allergies as an adult because I keep getting a sore throat these days and sometimes when I’m running I start to wheeze and sometimes I don’t [...]
This is continued from the last post!
Heather asked, “Are you including every point in time pre-birth/placement as part of the decision making phase?”
Yes, pre-birth, yes. Because once the baby is born, a woman will have to remake her decision.
Now this doesn’t mean that we can’t take a woman at [...]
I’ve been intrigued by the Infant Adoption Training Initiative for a long time. This is from their About page:
The curriculum developed by the Infant Adoption Training Initiative, Understanding Infant Adoption (UIA) is designed to train health care professionals how to provide adoption information and referral to pregnant women. The [...]
There are three things that influenced my feminist childhood: My mom, Phil Donahue (another post for another time) and Ms. Magazine.
My mom was a charter subscriber to Ms. Magazine. I grew up reading Stories for Free Children and scanning the letters for the [...]
That last post? I’m not looking for any pats on my head and I’m also not beating myself up. I haven’t worked hard enough at this. I’ve made half-assed attempts (including preschool) and when those didn’t get her the community I felt like she needed (she wasn’t expressing it [...]
Madison is mad at me because a few weeks ago I told her we were going to go meet some other black kids who are adopted and have white parents. Only the playgroup got rained out.
We went last year but hadn’t been back since. You know how it is [...]
Cynthia commented (on Madison’s picture post), “i think its sort of awesome how similar your (you and madison’s) styles of processing appear to be- do you ever think about that?”
I hadn’t ever thought about that but there’s nothing I love more than being invited to think more about [...]
The first picture is Roscoe visiting Madison at her house (click to make bigger).
And this picture is of Madison visiting Roscoe at his house (click to make bigger).
See' [...]
Madison woke up today and remembered that tomorrow is Rosco’s baby shower. She’s been working on decorations all week so she’s been keeping track of when Saturday is coming.
I was making coffee cake when Madison went into her bedroom and brought out a tiny teddy bear with a red bow [...]
I talked to someone at the counseling program and she gave me some GRE tips. Mainly these:
Take a practice test right away so I know where I am. Start studying! Take a practice test weekly (say, every Saturday). Head to Dictionary.com or some other word-of-the-day program and start grabbing my words-of-the-day. Take the test [...]
Pennie’s baby shower is this weekend and I’d love for you to help. If you’re in town and interested in coming, let me know and I’ll hook you up. If you’re not in town and would like to gift her something, [...]
I had a falling out with my dad a couple of weeks ago. He didn’t do anything unusual to warrant it — he was just being himself. Accepting my dad for his (flawed as is all humanity including yours truly) self is something [...]
Did you ever hear that saying? “If wishes were horses then beggars could ride.” My mom used to say that to me and I thought of it today when I read this week’s open adoption roundtable prompt:
Share your wish list for your open adoption(s).
It’s timely, too, because I’ve been [...]
On Friday I had to stop running before I finished my 25 minutes. I quit ten minutes in because my shin hurt so bad then tried again when the pain subsided and only lasted five minutes.
I was pissed.
Sunday I skipped running. Brett said I should take a break. Instead I [...]
I’m sitting here in front of the computer eating my lunch and thinking about groceries. I said awhile ago that I’d share about our grocery shopping because for some unfathomable reason, many of us are interested in each other’s grocery shopping.
Since Julia gifted me the Dream Dinners, I’ve [...]
Madison and I just got back from the grocery where we ran to get a cake for my boss’s birthday celebration (we need to leave for it in about 45 minutes) and cherries to take to the Clippers game tonight. She buckled herself in while I put the cart away [...]
The impending arrival of Madison’s new baby brother has her doing a lot of thinking about babies including how they get in there and how they get out. She forgets things she’s heard before or maybe she finds them so unbelievable that she has to ask again and again to [...]
Snagged from facebook.
****20 years ago***** (1989)
1) How old were you? A babe in the woods — a mere 19
2) Who were you dating? I wasn’t really dating anyone although I was kinda running around with Chris T (co-worker at Katzinger’s) and was just about to meet Brett the [...]
Apparently this is my 3540th post. I’ve been blogging a long time.
I wanted to write a little more about my grad school decision, which came about in a very circular, meandering way. I was thinking this weekend about mistakes and how I have to make mistakes if I’m going to [...]
I think his friends did a great job on this video although I kinda wish they had a tripod because now I’m a little seasick.
We missed him while he was on this trip but it’s clear he had a GREAT time and I’m so happy he got to go [...]
Last night at the track it was fairly crowded. Everyone was going clockwise so we went clockwise, too. I took lane 3 because someone was running in lane 5 where I usually run and lane 3 was empty. About halfway through my [...]
So I’m reading this blog (not this blog, some other blog) and I’m watching someone rant about behavior that s/he participates in her/himself. Like going, “I hate people who never wipe their noses after they sneeze!” And I’m thinking how this person never covers their coughs and I’m thinking, “Oh [...]
I’m just off my blogging mojo or something. I have a lot going on but it’s all stuff that has me running around in mental circles. I’ll do bullet points.
Julia sent me a pack full of Dream Dinners weekend before last and I can’t tell you all how [...]Right at this minute Madison is swinging while wearing her velvet Thanksgiving dress (long sleeves, long skirt — it is hot out there) and a blue Easter hat that she got from Pennie’s dad in the dress up box and which is getting a little bit too small for her. [...]
First off, the new and way improved Open Adoption Support site is up. Now you can create a social networking profile, register a blog, set up a friends list, private message your contacts and set up groups or join existing groups. It’s a little like Facebook for Open Adoption. [...]
I don’t like to whine to my mom, I really don’t. I like to be a sturdy person — a self sufficient person. I like to keep my whining private — you know, between me and Brett. But sometimes I really yearn to whine to my mother because … well, [...]
(Thanks everyone for your comments on my last post! I’m just going to let myself struggle as I work to find a new normal and I’m going to try to give myself permission to talk about it here, especially knowing that I’m not the only one.)
Last night there were thunderstorms [...]
Work. Life. You know — the usual.
I’m coming to terms with the fact that my days as a true stay-at-home mom are over, never to return and grieving it hard. That’s not to say that I’m not grateful for work and mortgage payments and the ability to bring income to [...]
So I’m spending a lot of time today waiting for things to load, waiting for things to download, waiting for things to upload (sigh) and deleting files before starting all over again. And when I’m not doing those things, I’m banging my head against my keyboard, sobbing a little bit [...]
We have, courtesy of thrift stores, several Little People buildings. We have the yellow house, the castle, the firehouse, the Sesame apartment house and the Western Village. What we do not have is people who can live and work in these places. Noah used his little PVC Pokemon with them [...]
