Dear Craigslist People,
I know you turn to Craigslist to find a bargain (unless you’re one of those jackasses that posts nekkid pix of yourself from your Grandma’s bathroom…the crocheted poodle toilet paper cover is a dead giveaway, just in case you were wondering how I knew you were at [...]
Our local paper published a story about Anissa a few days ago. I only just found out about it today. Reading it is just another reminder of how much she and her family have been through over the years.
Honestly, I don’t get it. I don’t understand why these good [...]
Anissa and I at BlogHer 09
This is a post that I really don’t want to write. But yet, I have to because Anissa Mayhew is a special person in my life and I can’t NOT do this.
If you don’t know already, Anissa suffered a massive [...]
11/21/09
My most recent post about Anissa can be found here.
11/20/09
For the most current updates on Anissa’s progress, please check her blog, Hope 4 Peyton. Anissa’s husband will be updating as necessary.
•••
As you may have heard, Anissa, our beloved friend and leader here at Aiming [...]
I had a terrible revelation last night…
My husband and I were in bed watching the Doctor Who special (yes, we’re geeks and I kinda love David Tennant so SHUT IT) and this particular story was set in the year 2059.
I didn’t give the year 2059 a second thought until my [...]
Hello old blog…it’s been a while. I know I’ve been neglectful and I’m sorry. If it’s any consolation, I haven’t forsaken you for no reason. I’ve just been busy. Doing what? Oh well, you know the other blog? NO, I don’t love Aiming Low more than you. Stop saying [...]
Ahhh…it’s that time of year again. Time for witches and ghosts and goblins and of course, the trashy, slutty costumes for little girls that make my blood boil. But…I’ve railed about those plenty in the past. Everyone who gets mail probably already knows of a certain national party store chain [...]
The BEST word verification EVER.
Also? Tired kids and coffee ice cream…a winning combination! Amy Lo saves the day AGAIN.
[...]When I woke up this morning with my head throbbing, husband grousing around and my children carrying on about one thing or another…I wanted to roll over and go back to sleep. I feel like that a lot lately, as noted in a previous post. I think my exact thought [...]
I hate whining. I do. Fricken hate it.
I don’t, however, hate it enough to NOT do it.
Really, the fact is…I just don’t want to hear anyone else whine. Not you. Not my kids. None of ya. But since this is my blog, I’m going to be a wee bit of [...]
Do you ever listen to This American Life on the radio? If not, you should. Nerdy host Ira Glass has a voice that makes the loins of many a woman tingle, although my loins remain curiously untingly.
In any case, this week’s show is called “Frenemies” and though it’s a [...]
If you know me at all, you know I teeter on the fence between wanting to share and wanting to hide—under a big BIG black cloak of privacy. I do want to blog. I want to voice my opinions. I want to spill my guts. I want to pour my [...]
Nine out of ten doctors recommend that if you fall behind while doing NaBloPoMo, post funny pictures…
I got a ton of these things via email so I don’t know who to credit for them… To whoever made these, thank you for [...]
My 24 hours of special treatment from my family is almost over…another birthday nearly behind me.
If I were a pessimist, I’d say “Ohhhh, another birthday, another year closer to death” but I make a point not to think of stuff like that. I cannot, however, lie and say I haven’t [...]
Do you remember the first time you found out YOU weren’t invited to a party but all your friends were? (And I’m not talking about that revival thing that was being sent around on Facebook by an old (and very saved) friend. I wouldn’t go to that anyway—you see, God [...]
Continuing with the ass theme of the past two weeks…
Underwear with butt (and crotch) pads for men… Hot or not? Awesome or awful?
Frankly, I’d expect that sort of thing for women—we’re ALL ABOUT the illusion…makeup, fake nails, colored hair, highlights, spray tans, push-up bras, shapewear [...]
Well, the good news is I don’t cancer. The less-good news is I still don’t know what the frig is going on with me, although now that the colon cancer thing is off the table, I’m far less concerned.Â
Honestly, I have very little faith in doctors. Most of the times [...]
Okay, I finally got up the nerve to make the appointment for Asscam 09 (tomorrow & I’m terrified) only to find out that since it’s a diagnostic asscam instead of a screening asscam, it’s going to cost me a $300 copay because, inexplicably, it’s considered an outpatient SURGERY.
Seriously?
The woman [...]
Click any photo to view
(Sorry Flickr peeps…I TRIED to put them all on there but I exceeded my monthly upload limit or some such crap. Picasa rules! Flickr drools!)
[...]I got my period today. I guess that’s good. Last month, after a little mistake right around ovulation time, I was worried that I might be pregnant because I am nothing if not fertile. Like I always get knocked up on the first try fertile. How I didn’t become a [...]
I actually considered writing this post on the flight home when everything was still fresh in my mind but then I thought better of it and took a nap. PRIORITIES, PEOPLE!
Every time I come back from BlogHer I grapple with this post because I want to name every person I [...]
For your WTFing pleasure, I give you…
Why American Apparel? Why would you be party to such high-waisted wrongness? Wearing denim up to your ribs represents a very dark period in fashion history and should never NEVER be brought back. EVER.
One question, American Apparel... Do [...]
This 4th of July, we decided to go to the beach to watch fireworks. This particular beach has a lot of activity going on every evening and on Independence Day, even more so.
After letting the kids play on the playground for a while, we made our way down to the [...]
Yay for crazy holiday hats and and the cute little boys who wear them!
If you’re a fireworks enthusiast, please be considerate of your neighbors and BE CAREFUL :)
HAPPY 4th of JULY! [...]
Mean girls suck, too...
Every summer my daughter goes to day camp. She absolutely loves it and looks forward to it all year long.
This year, the camp has started having theme days which are kind of like spirit days at school. Recently, the theme was [...]
In other appendage news… Awkward Boners—they’re EVERYWHERE!
(hat tip to Danny)
My son just had his 4th birthday and he’s at an age where he now LOVES little cars (Hot Wheels, Matchbox etc) I mentioned this to a family member and so they got him the Hot Wheels Harbor playset. It’s one component of a whole [...]
My daughter put this little mirror in front of my face so I jokingly say
“Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the fairest of them all?”
And my son, completely serious, says
“What mall?
Who’s the fairest OF THE MALL?
Get it?
Come on…you know that shit is  funny.
SMILE! [...]One might have thought, from the title, that this was one of those wacky, sitcom-esque “Oh no! My mom’s on her way. Hide the porn/bong/vice of your choice!” kind of posts. Heh. If only…
The real story is that my stepmom will be here in TWO days. She just called me [...]
Just in case you haven’t heard..we’re havin’ another pre-BlogHer party and this? Is one party in which not a SINGLE nose will be pressed against the glass. No. Why? Because it’s the 3rd annual PEOPLE’S PARTY and YOU’RE ALL INVITED! There’s gonna be free booze while it lasts so get [...]
I’m not implying that any of YOU need to lose weight but if you ever need some inspiration to keep your eye on the ball and your ass in gear, just put on your bathing suit and look in the mirror. This is especially important if you’re putting on your [...]
A long time ago, I recall seeing wigs for babies and being all What? The Hell. But in all fairness, at least BabyToupee.com recognizes that their wigs fall into the patently ridiculous/OMFG category.
But lo, there’s a new kid on the wig block and they’ve made it their mission to [...]
After reading YET another article about people getting all up in arms over public breastfeeding, I feel the need to tell all you freaks and weirdos who think the act of nourishing a child is somehow sexual or exhibitionistic to GET OVER IT.
Do [...]
Last Sunday on Mother’s Day, I awoke around noon and was greeted with a fantastic breakfast (that means BACON), fresh coffee, gorgeous pink Gerber daisies (my favorite) and the sweetest little treasures from my children.
Accompanying the gifts from my daughter was a card/drawing she made at school that touched my [...]
This is funny as hell… If you like Andy Samberg and Seth Rogen, you’ll love it. If you think Andy Samberg and Seth Rogen are the most annoying people on the planet, well, you STILL might like it but in the unlikely event that you hate it? Don’t blame me. [...]
I know she wants to hear from me and I always promise that I won’t let so much time go between calls. But I do and I don’t know why, although I have my theories.
I always tell her she can call me whenever she wants; that no time would be [...]
I force my children to watch Mystery Diagnosis with me every day. Okay…I don’t FORCE them, as in tying them up and propping their eyelids open with toothpicks, but I turn it on and if they don’t want to watch it? Too bad because Mystery Diagnosis is the most awesomely [...]
Yesterday my son’s teacher told me that they have a new girl in his class. She just turned three and is in a class of mostly boys. The teacher said she had looked so sad all morning and nothing they said or did seemed to make any difference.
That is until [...]
Allow me to explain…
Sometime in January, in a very impetuous moment, I decided to do something I’d been thinking about for a while. I closed this blog and put a redirect to another one that I had set up and had not yet had the nerve to do actually BLOG [...]
At the mall…
T: *whining* It’s not fair. Why does he always get to ride in the stroller?
Me: Because he’s three and you’re eight. You’re really just too big for the stroller now.
T: *indignant* That’s no reason to not let me use it!!!
I actually gathered all the photos to make this video of my son about two years ago. I tried unsuccessfully to make it in iMovie but frustrated and supremely annoyed, I quit and for two years the pictures sat in a folder on my desktop.
I wanted to make this little [...]
It’s with a sad heart that I sit down this morning to collect my thoughts. I didn’t sleep well, instead tossing and turning all night thinking about Maddie, the incredibly precious little girl I never knew but had heard so much about from her loving and devoted mother, Heather. [...]
Apparently, the Supreme Court has blocked the release of 77 sex offenders who have served their federal sentences after the Obama administration claimed many of them remain “sexually dangerous.” The primary issue is whether the government has the power to indefinitely detain prisoners who have served their sentences but could [...]
After reading an article in the Washington Post questioning whether accidentally leaving a child in a car (resulting in the child’s death) is a crime, my heart ached and I felt kind of sick. I always do when I think about a baby or toddler strapped into their car [...]
Porn for New Moms is, from what I can tell, a book of photos of men doing what new moms most want them to do, which is to get off their asses and help (no offense, fellas) So yeah, it’s pix of hot guys holding [...]
Son: Mommy, you my fwend.
Me: Awww…you’re my friend, too, buddy
Son: And TV my fwend.
Me: *cringing on the inside* TV? Really?
Son: Yes
Me: Okay, but who do you like better—mommy or TV?
Son: TV
[...]There are lots of ways to spice up your sex life but I’m pretty sure that the video below is not the tool upon which you should be basing your strategy…unless you find that laughter is an aphrodisiac—in which case, grab the object of your affection and watch it together. [...]
When I was growing up, the first thing I really learned to cook that didn’t involve an aluminum tray was pancakes. I was thrilled to be able to make something I really liked and from that day forward, pancakes were my “specialty”. Mother’s Day? Why she’s getting pancakes, of course. [...]
Just in case your family can’t get enough of the good times had at American airports these days, PlayMobil has two new toys that will allow your kids to relive those super fun airport security searches whenever they want. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the most ridiculous toys of [...]
While being filmed by an ABC Nightline camera crew on a recent humanitarian mission in Sierra Leone, actress Salma Hayek breastfed the malnourished newborn baby of a woman unable to do so herself. How many kinds of awesome is that?
If you’re feeling extra feisty, do what one commenter did and [...]
I’ve been brewing on this for months now and I’ve finally decided to do it, to close this blog. I’ve outgrown my identity as a “mommyblogger” and I don’t feel like I fit into that world anymore.
The best part is that I’m not even remotely sad about it. I know [...]
I’m not 100% sure what or when but big changes are coming… I feel it and I know it has to happen. I just can’t do this, in it’s current incarnation, anymore.
Dear Children,
You know I love you more than life itself but if I hear the words “I want…” come out of your mouths one more time today, I’m pretty sure my head will explode and it would really ruin Christmas.
Much love,
Mommy
This is a continuation of Part 1
So the boy showed up at the girl’s place. She was happy to see him and a bit surprised at how much less boyish he now looked. She introduced him to her roommate and while they were sitting around catching up, the [...]
Hood Thong!!! (tassles not included)
Would Santa would bring you one of these as a reward for being nice—or as a punishment for being naughty? I’m really not sure…
Once upon a time, there was girl, age 20… On a slow night at an alternative dance club she and her friends frequented, she spotted a boy she thought was super fine. Armed with false bravado fueled by one too many vodka and cranberries, she sent her friend over to [...]
Found in a public library book…
“3am I still can’t get you off my mind. Trying to find the words but
they just won’t come out right.
You’ve become my best friend in such a short time. You’ve humbled
and uplifted me and you understand me better than anyone. There’s
so much [...]
In a promotion designed to draw attention to their new Linden Street collection of goodies for the home, JC Penney teamed up with BlogHer and gave yours truly $500 smackers to blow on Linden Street gear.
The stuff? It’s way nice. Me? Way indecisive. My home? Needs more than [...]
I had to buy the Hannah Montana macaroni and cheese because I’m pretty sure nobody would have believed something so dumb really existed without photographic evidence.
Of course, none of that matters to my kids, who can’t wait to actually eat the stuff—little stars, guitars, music notes and phallic microphones!!! Squeeee!!!
[...]
Early this morning, I was lying in bed thinking about things I needed from the store and I started pondering the opposing and somewhat humorous nature of my two primary purchases — Pull Ups for my son and condoms for us.
At my local CVS, all the clerks are teenagers and [...]
Dear Scary Clown Lady,
I’d like to believe you had good intentions at the children’s event my son attended today with his class but seriously, when a three year old is hiding behind his mom to get away from your scariness, you might just want to leave him alone.
That you insisted [...]
I’m so proud to have been a part of this day in American history. I believe, now more than ever, that ANYTHING is possible in America and best of all —
Our children will grow up knowing it, too.
Am I the only one who feels like the dark ages of the [...]
Getting your period on Halloween: A pleasant coincidence or irrefutable evidence that there IS a god?
I prefer to believe that somebody up there thinks I’m SO awesome and deserving that they put my cycle in the direct path of a seemingly endless supply of chocolate.
………….
I spent the entire day and [...]
Awesomely Awesome.
How else could I possibly describe this past weekend spent in O-Town (that’s Orlando to all you non-Floridians) with Anissa, Shash and Britt?
I’ve tried to set up blogger get-togethers before and the lamers ended up bailing — no need to name names — YOU KNOW WHO [...]
Do you ever feel like you’re at some kind of turning point in your life but you don’t know where the turn will take you or when?
I just don’t feel like writing about my life so much these days. That’s not to say it isn’t entirely bloggable, because there’s rarely [...]
Today my husband had off from work for Columbus Day but my kids still had school.
Translation: The huz and I were sans kids for part of the day.
I know what you’re thinking, you naughty, naughty people. But no…we didn’t loll around in bed all day doing things currently only done [...]
A couple of years ago, I wrote a post about teaching my daughter the “facts of life”. Having gone back and read it again, I’m shocked that I only have another year before I’m supposed to start having open and honest discussions with my daughter about her lady parts and [...]
I just got my annual open invitation to my step-aunt’s house for Thanksgiving
*big sigh*
This is always a downer for me because I know I won’t be going. And then I think about how long it’s been since I’ve seen everyone. And I think about all the people who have never [...]
About once or twice a year, I find myself writing about my how quickly my babies are growing up. I know it’s a well-worn path in the mommy blogosphere but I find myself there once again and I simply cannot suppress the urge to put my melancholy into words.
My daughter [...]
In the interest of getting a grip (see previous post) and doing something that would make me feel a bit shinier and less mom-ish, I decided to use some of my birthday money (Yes, I had a birthday last week, didn’t mention it because hello? AM OFFICIALLY OLD. No [...]
Lately, I’ve been lost in my head. Daydreaming. Longing. Wishing I had a time machine or some such device that would let me be young again. It’s not that I want to relive my youth, my glory days, per se. I don’t want to repeat history — I got my [...]
I recently threw a birthday party for my daughter. The shindig was held at a local park, because I’m cheap becoming a firm believer in the old-fashioned birthday party that doesn’t involve commercial characters, venues or entertainment or cost hundreds or even thousands of dollars.
In other words? I’m no longer [...]
Yesterday we were watching Rick Steves’ Europe. As you’ve probably already deduced, it’s a travel show about Europe. And in Europe there are lots and lots of museums that Rick Steves likes to visit and of course, edumacate us on the works of art contained therein:
8 Year old daughter: What’s [...]
My son, my baby, turned three in June. And like every parent has said at least once, where has the time gone? When I started this blog he was not quite six months old.
I don’t write about my kids a whole lot, at least not in depth, for various reasons [...]
I’ve seen enough Hannah Montana crap in the past four days to last me a lifetime. Can you guess what I’ve been up to? Yep, I’ve been school shopping and birthday party shopping, both for my brand spanking new eight year old daughter.
First was the quest for a lunch box [...]
You know, I used to be really, really anti-gun. Hated them. Thought nobody should have one and all that. And I still don’t like them. I mean, they KILL people. But one day, while listening to some lame conservative talk radio, totally against my will, mind you, Glenn Beck made [...]
Admission to the place filled with wall-to-wall bounce houses? $16
Lunch for three at Steak n’ Shake? $23
Driving on a long bridge in torrential can’t-see-a-damn-thing rain? Approximately one year off my life
Getting out of the house on the fourth straight day of “Oh my holy hell — we’re gonna need [...]
I have a dream…
I want to drive across America on old Route 66.
Okay, it’s not really a dream, per se. It’s really just something I’ve always wanted to do; something I’d like to do before everything of character been swallowed up by the generic big-box horribleness that defines [...]
Lisa, Midwestern Mommy, a fellow blogger and friend, just found out she has cancer. She still doesn’t have all the information or a prognosis but regardless, I would greatly appreciate your lending your support for her in the form of a comment, positive thoughts, prayer, whatever. Thank you, most [...]
You know, I make jokes, semi-jokes, about being crazy but the fact is, I’ve suffered from bouts of depression since I was 20 years old. Back then they didn’t push antidepressants like they do now. In fact, I remember my therapist asking me if I wanted to try them but [...]
Feel free to skip this post. It’s just me slowly coming undone and writing about it again. But I really need to because otherwise, I might just implode from the trifecta of exhaustion, anxiety and depression. Oh, and the cramps.
I’m so tired of the rollercoaster ride known as my “mental [...]
The huz had to go out of town for work this week and his trip just happened to fall over our 14th wedding anniversary, which does suck a little, though we plan to make up for it when he returns this weekend.
I’ve been completely exhausted by the time I get [...]
Jayne is talking breezily about how Sasha had her first set of false nails glued on at eight, and now enjoys the sort of rigorous beauty regime - hair extensions, fake tans, pedicures - that was once the preserve of porn stars and Dolly Parton, not school [...]
The truth is I was on off doing important Hollywood stuff this weekend. I didn’t want to tell you because nobody likes a braggart and everyone would be all “That betch — she thinks she’s soooo cool. Hmmmph!” (But check out mah sexay platform cast boot. Is HOTT!)
If you’re at BlogHer, you’re probably not reading my blog. If you’re NOT at BlogHer (like me), you’re probably tired of reading about how much fun everyone is going to have without you so I’ve compiled some great distractions for your reading pleasure. No need to thank me :)
By now, assuming you’re something of a regular here, you know that I broke my foot and am now NOT attending THE social event of the season for women bloggers (and the clever man or two who opts to attend because he will be surrounded by unescorted women [...]
Have you ever seen a dog scratching an itch by wiggling around on it’s back in a state of what appears to be Snoopyesque joy mixed with utter pleasurable abandon? Now imagine if that dog was a person with a cast on her foot. And imagine that the person is [...]
Hello, remember me? I’ve been busy being on pain medication (horrifying of highness!) sleeping a lot, working and baking. But my God, have I been baking! Baking bread, baking brownies from scratch, baking chicken, baking pizzas from homemade dough…
My foot is still broken and it actually hurts more than [...]
Friday afternoon at doctor’s office: This is how my foot looked when I was 39 weeks pregnant. But rest assured, I’m not pregnant and my foot is not normally this bloated and shapeless.
Saturday morning: It is, however, the bitter new occupant of this rather ugly, [...]
I haven’t blogged about this at all but last month I took my son to an early intervention screening thing for speech. He failed the hearing screen in one ear and was also flagged for a formal speech evaluation.
After jumping through eleventeen hundred hoops that included one trip to the [...]
Yesterday I took P to this pond next to Target to feed the ducks and other assorted water fowl. It’s such a weird place for a conservation pond and frankly, I don’t know where they get off calling it that because the pond is full of parking lot run-off water [...]
Hello gentle reader. So nice of you to drop by.
Or feed read me.
Or allow me into your inbox.
Have I told you lately that I love you?
For reals.
I love you people who take time out of your lives to read my drivelings. I love you in that abstract “I love [...]
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