I have never been cool.
Trust me when I say it was never for a lack of trying.
At various stages in my life, I worked so hard on feigning coolness that I'm surprised I didn't have an aneurysm. How many hours were spent trying on a variety of guises to [...]
I am an inherently lazy writer.
Given the choice between curling up with a good book or sitting down at my computer, I will almost always choose the former over the latter.
I'm also not very good at managing my free time. I've studied the habits of brilliantly successful people to see if there were [...]
As you can probably guess, I'm not a big fan of political correctness.
When I was in college at Berkeley, a group of political activists lobbied to officially change Columbus Day to "Indigenous People's Day," the argument being that Christopher Columbus was responsible for more calamity and destruction than progress and [...]
Sometimes I think being an overly self-aware insomniac book nerd is more trouble than it's worth.
While reading in the wee hours of the morning, I recently came across passages in two books that made me pause and reflect on the path my life has taken.
Don't get me wrong. I [...]
Dear Peanut,
Happy 5th birthday!
Although you're completely ecstatic about this day, I think my own excitement might actually trump your own. Why? Mainly because I no longer have to keep hearing, "Daddy, daddy, daddy! How many more days until I turn five?"
Don't get me wrong, kiddo. It was cute for [...]
Ever since I announced my divorce on this site, I've been inundated with e-mails from readers.
Most were empathetic notes of sympathy. Many were shared tales of sadness. Quite a few were messages of concern.
However, a good chunk of them were from happily married dads simply inquiring, "HEY DUDE, WHAT'S IT [...]
Dear Andy,
We all place bookmarks in our life to highlight and chronicle the passage of time. While some people delineate those milestones by happiness and joy, I tend to mark mine by pain.
When I turned 40 last November, I couldn't help but think back about those defining periods in [...]
“The four most over-rated things in life are champagne, lobster, anal sex and picnics.” - Christopher Hitchens.
I'm both a quote junkie and a Christopher Hitchens fan so I was kind of surprised tonight when I stumbled on this sentence and realized that I'd never seen it before. While I'm [...]
Firstly, thanks so much for the outpouring of love and support. I'm completely humbled and confess that your comments and e-mails moved me more than I ever expected. In retrospect, I probably should have put that post up months ago. The response from all of you was both heartwarming and [...]
This post is long overdue.
The only reason that I've put off writing it for so long is because I remain unsure as to what extent of my personal life I want to reveal online. The internet's ability to allow us to bare ourselves to so many people is uncharted territory [...]
Orson Scott Card once said that, "Music isn't just a pleasure, a transient satisfaction. It's a need, a deep hunger; and when the music is right, it's joy. Love. A foretaste of heaven. A comfort in grief."
In many ways, those songs that truly resonate within our souls, both in the past and [...]
In all honesty, I don't mind being alone.
I'll never forget when I was 24 years old and I returned home to New York after a few years in Washington, DC that left me an emotional mess. Not only was I between jobs and low on self-esteem but also, to [...]
My father has never given me any advice.
The one time I remember him even trying was when I was 18 and on my way out of the house for the evening. As I recall, he briefly looked up from his newspaper and said, "You know about condoms, right?"
End of conversation.
Thank [...]
During this blog's lifetime, I've been interviewed for dozens of magazines and newspapers. However, in all honesty, I've never really liked many of the interviews. I think this is primarily for two reasons. One is that, for the most part, the interviewers tended to already be fans of this site [...]
Being a father is one of my favorite things in life.
This is somewhat surprising to me because my father was not a very good role model and, to this day, he and I are not very close. In fact, when I was younger, kids used to come up to me and [...]
My mother was a premature health nazi during an era when it was believed that smoking cigarettes was good for you, fried chicken was the 6th food group, and Twinkies improved blood circulation.
Of course, I'm abundantly grateful to my wonderful mother for leading me down a path of healthy living. [...]
EMPTY THREATS, KOREAN DEATH STARES, AND JENNIFER ANISTON
Once kids realize that you're not serious about a threat, you're fucking toast.
This past weekend, we were at The Doctor's house in the Hamptons. We had a fantastic time playing in the pool, taking the kids to the beach, chasing them around the backyard, [...]
There are certain cultural references that both divide and define generations.
The Doctor and I recently spent an entire weekend in the Hamptons quizzing his 22-year-old nanny about music. It completely blew our minds that she had never even heard of Depeche Mode, Pet Shop Boys, Nirvana, New Order, [...]
Over the past 4.5 years, I've been woken up by my lovely daughter in about a million possible ways.
When she was a baby, it was all very cute. I'd often arise to find her using my head as a pillow. However, I chalk that one up to sheer comfort. My [...]
"Songs are what I listen to, almost to the exclusion of everything else. I don't listen to classical music or jazz very often, and when people ask me what music I like, I find it very difficult to reply, because they usually want names of people, and I can [...]
ORIENTAL IS A RUG
Recently, the Peanut and I were at Whole Foods when an elderly woman approached her and said, "Oh my, aren't you an adorable little Oriental girl?"
Because the lady was so damn old and probably doesn't think she's offending anyone when she calls African-Americans "colored people," I shrugged [...]
For those of you on Facebook, you're probably aware of the recent digital craze revolving around a chain-letter/literary exercise called “25 Random Things About Me."
The way it works is people write a note with 25 heartfelt observations about themselves. After completing it, they then "tag" 25 friends to [...]
It never ceases to amaze me how many people write to me for actual parenting advice.
Now don't get me wrong. I'm genuinely flattered that someone would cherish my opinion on such an important subject. In fact, I'm generally just happy when I hear that people are actually thinking about parenting. [...]
As many of you already know, I am a self-confessed grammar nerd.
I'm not especially proud of this. If anything, it's a curse. Unlike other people, I can't enjoy the newspaper, casually watch television, or listen to talk radio. Bad grammar seems to follow me everywhere---and it practically drives [...]
Sorry for the lack of posting here, my friends. As always, LIFE has been hectic these days. However, as usual, I've got a lot of stuff on my mind that needs an outlet. Until I find some free time to write a real post, here are some cocktail napkin scribblings:
ATTACK [...]
NEVER BET AGAINST BLACK
For the past two weeks, I’d been hyping up the Super Bowl to my daughter.
I told her how it was a magical day filled with all-you-can-eat ribs, baked beans, and more creamed corn than she could ever envision. Naturally, as she always does these days, she [...]
One of the best reasons for having kids is because they are an endless source of entertainment.
And because, like most Americans, I have the attention span of a gnat, I have a constant need to be entertained on a regular basis. Needless to say, times are tough for guys like [...]
When it comes to pregnant women, my misguided attempts at chivalry frequently backfire.
Whether it's nobly giving up my seat on the subway or making friendly conversation by inquiring about a woman's due date, I've basically reached a point where I absolutely NEVER ask a woman if she's pregnant unless [...]
Part of the reason that I write this blog is because I truly love being a father and I get a kick out of writing about the lighter side of it all.
However, at the same time, I'm immensely fascinated by child development. I'm a firm believer that our identities [...]
Growing up as the eldest child of Korean immigrant parents, I was usually our family's conduit to the intricacies of American life.
Between school and my friends, I could often be found running home to share my latest discoveries: "Mom, have you ever tried peanut butter and jelly sandwiches?" "Do you [...]
I'm often humbled by the sheer number of people who e-mail me regularly asking me to please post here on a more frequent basis.
Being only human, I have to admit that this flattery often feeds the small part of my ego not already being nourished by my overinflated sense [...]
Since Halloween in NYC is practically a week-long event, we decided that we'd dress Peanut up as an underage Chinese Olympic gymnast for this past weekend's neighborhood festivities. In order to convince her to play her part, all we had to do was tell her that [...]
Dear Peanut,
Happy 4th birthday!
This is the first birthday that you've eagerly anticipated in advance. For the past few months, you've been telling everyone who crosses your path that you're almost four. Now, the big day has finally arrived and when you woke up this morning, you ran into our bedroom [...]
My constant need to amuse myself has caused me many problems over the years.
Like the time when the beautiful BossLady was 8 months pregnant. One night, as she was going through her closet and lamenting the fact that none of her clothes fit her anymore, she suddenly took a [...]
Dear Andy,
It's 9:00 am and I've just gotten to the office. It's a beautiful clear and sunny morning here in New York. Eerily similar to that same day seven years ago when tragedy struck.
I still remember every moment of that day vividly. James calling me in the office to [...]
When my father-in-law was diagnosed with interminable cancer, I spoke to several child psychologists and read various books on how to approach the subject of death with my daughter.
Simply put, it's virtually impossible for an infant or toddler to fully comprehend a human's death. Up [...]
Walk into any playground or classroom in America and the most common phrase you'll hear parents and teachers say is "Use your words!"
I hear this phrase EVERYWHERE. Essentially, it's a mantra that enforces the idea that children should never hit or push one another. Nonviolence should be practiced at all [...]
Last year, Vanity Fair published a hilariously satirical article imploring readers to measure their Asshole Footprint. In the hopes of improving overall life on the planet, they offered a questionnaire to help individuals determine the size and breadth of their footprint.
Personally, I've often felt that the best way [...]
LET'S HUG IT OUT
Thanks to all of you for your touching comments, e-mails, phone calls and sympathy cards. I'm truly humbled by your kindness. If I could come over to your house, give each of you a hug, and take you out for a drink, I would definitely do so. [...]
Earlier today, my father-in-law finally lost his battle with cancer. Surrounded by loved ones, he took his last breaths on this world and moved on to a better one. No longer will he be besieged by the pain that defined his last weeks [...]
Living in New York City can often be as brutal and impersonal as a cavity search in a Turkish airport.
That's why, every once in awhile, I feel the need to check myself out and disappear for some peace and quiet. I need to find someplace where I can reconnect with [...]
Being a long-standing, card-carrying member of the "blogosphere," I often find myself pondering the state of modern-day relationships in this virtual internet age.
What does it mean to be friends with someone you only know through blogging? Are facebook friends really friends? Does knowing the details of a person's life [...]
Have I ever mentioned that, as a teenager, I played serious competitive tennis on the junior circuit?
One summer, in a misguided attempt to move up the rankings, I spent 6 weeks training at a hard-core tennis academy located in the living hell known as central Florida. Every morning, I [...]
There are three things that I always tell people when they're about to get married.
One, always remember that marriage is about the journey, not the destination.
Two, always remember that a great marriage is like a duck. Everything may look smooth on the surface but [...]
Due to my father-in-law's cancer, the mood is fairly grim these days at Casa MetroDad.
That's why I was pleasantly surprised to get an e-mail today from my wife with the subject heading, "This warmed my heart and put a smile on my face today." Not much puts a smile [...]
It's been almost two years since I revealed my hatred for text messaging.
However, this only seems to have spurred my weird friends to text me even more. So, in lieu of the fact that I have nothing substantial to write about today and also because I just [...]
I've fly-fished for trout in Idaho's famous Silver Creek. I've deep-sea fished on a yacht in Hong Kong Harbor. I've spearfished for cod in Peru. And I've battled gigantic marlin off Florida's Gold Coast.
However, my favorite fishing memories are those days of being a kid sitting on a dock with [...]
LATHER, RINSE...REPEAT!
Although I curse like a fucking sailor, I'm extremely diligent in never doing
this in front of the Peanut. Toddlers are experts at parroting
anything they hear from their parents. Things that you whisper under
your breath will come back to haunt you. Maybe not tomorrow or next
week...but sometime.
Anyway, [...]
Yesterday, my buddy Andrew and I were discussing the season finale of the TV show "House."
During the episode, a woman is injured in a bus accident. However, there are some strange complications that seem to imply a dangerous preexisting condition. The patient is put into a medical coma while [...]
When I was eight years old, I was convinced that my Sunday school teacher hated my guts. So every weekend, when my parents dropped me off at the front door of the church, I'd walk straight through to the rear exit, change into gym clothes, and spend the next few [...]
You miss your wife and daughter terribly.
It's late at night. Your apartment feels cavernously empty. The silence seems to echo off the brick walls and reverberate noiselessly. How is that possible? The TV hums in the background. You sigh heavily and, as you gaze upon a photo of your wife [...]
How many times can a grown man watch "The Sound of Music" with his daughter before he completely loses his sanity?
What are the future ramifications if a young girl watches "The Sound of Music" 43,287 times between the ages of two and four? Will she want to move to [...]
It's been a long time since we've done a mailbag. I figure now is a good time to catch up because I'm about 3 months behind in replying to e-mails from readers.
Let's start off by saying that I'm always surprised by the questions that [...]
We're going to start this post off with a big pimpin' endorsement to Cool Mom Picks.
Why? Many reasons. For one, the site is an amazing resource for moms who are looking for cool, new products to make their lives easier. They focus on non-mainstream products and services, particularly [...]
As I've discussed on these pages before, two of my greatest passions in life are (1) being a proud Asian-American man, and (2) baseball.
So it's only natural that I have a special place in my heart for any MLB baseball players of Asian descent (even [...]
AND SO IT BEGINS...
Recently my 3.5-year-old daughter has gotten into the habit of rolling her eyes at me and sighing. Are you freaking kidding me? It starts that early? I thought I had at least another 5 years.
Oh well...at least she doesn't give me the hand and say "[...]
When I first started this blog, I never really believed that anyone would be interested in hearing a guy blather on about fatherhood.
After all, let's face it. We still live in a world where men are not really encouraged to discuss their inner feelings. Most of us just don't want [...]
As a true New Yorker, I don't think I could ever live in the suburbs.
I just can't picture myself in the front yard in a robe and boxers screaming at those damn O'Reilly kids to get the hell off my damn lawn and keep their damn freaky music down. I [...]
Between our gubernatorial scandal, the crane collapse, the Sean Bell shooting, and the demise of Bear Stearns, there is a lot of bad news filling the local headlines here in New York.
However, for some reason, I find myself obsessed with the tragic story of young Nixzmary Brown, the 7-year-old Brooklyn girl who [...]
"I come from a home where gravy is a beverage."---Erma Bombeck
Me? I come from a home where nobody ever made dinner. They made reservations.
We joke that our entire family lacks the genetic ability to boil water but I'm not kidding when I say that, one Thanksgiving, my mother served [...]
UMM. THANKS, COACH!
Yesterday, my not-quite-3.5-year-old daughter smacked me on the butt and said, "Nice job today, Daddy. I'm really proud of you!"
IF HILLARY HAD WON, THEY'D HAVE GONE WITH "VANILLA ICE"
After John Edwards dropped out of the race, Ben Cohen and Jerry Grenfield, co-founders of legendary Ben & Jerry's [...]
When I was seven, I told my mother that I wanted to learn how to ski.
Like most immigrants new to the country, my mother had never gone skiing before in her entire life and, at the age of 33, didn't feel compelled to start learning anytime soon. However, she was [...]
SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST
I am a man well suited for the modern era.
I'm excellent at cocktail party conversation. I have a wicked backhand. And I can make my own sushi.
However, because of those traits, I thank God every day that I wasn't born a caveman. Living in a [...]
"Whether you see Valentine?s Day as a chance to shower a loved one in gifts or a good excuse to order an extra-dry gin martini, you?re probably going to think about love at some point today. So watching Chris Vincze?s graceful and very clever short film EVOL is a great [...]
Thanks for sharing all your embarrassing childhood family stories.
Not only did I laugh my ass off reading all of them but I also now feel much better knowing I wasn't the only kid with a bowl haircut who grew up riding a girl's bicycle while wearing [...]
Lately, I've been spending a lot of time talking to my therapist about my family.
Now, I'm not going to start publicly pulling skeletons out of the family closet. After all, let's face it. Most families are weird. Most families have their own issues. And most families are capable of leaving all of us [...]
All my daughter wanted for Christmas from Santa Claus was a Cinderella princess doll.
I have to admit that, for quite a long time, I contemplated not getting one for her. As a modern dad who considers himself fairly progressive when it comes to parenting, I don't like subscribing to outdated [...]
For the first 3.5 years of her life, the Peanut totally refused to even consider the possibility of getting a haircut.
I tried everything: I'd take her to my stylist with me so she could get used to sitting in the chair. I'd bring her to various kids' barbershops so [...]
For the first 3.5 years of her life, the Peanut totally refused to even consider the possibility of getting her hair cut.
I'd take her to my stylist with me so she could get used to sitting in the chair. I'd bring her to various kids' barbershops so she could [...]
Back in the day, NYC was the birthplace of mixing and scratching.
Growing up as a young kid in the early 80's, my friends and I were always on the lookout for new mixed tapes from legendary DJs like Kool Herc, Grandmaster Flash, Grand Wizard Theodore and Afrika Bambaataa. The [...]
Happy New Year, my friends!
Sorry for the delayed absence. After two weeks of vacation, I've practically forgotten how to type, shower, shave, speak English, or wear clothes while eating.
On the plus side, I've confirmed that my true life's destiny is to become a professional bon vivant. I remember when [...]
The creative well runneth dry these days, my friends.
All my free time is being spent wrapping up the year at work, attending a flurry of holiday parties, updating my facebook status, and figuring out what books to give my family as presents. I've also been spending a lot of [...]
I WILL GLADLY PAY YOU TUESDAY FOR A HAMBURGER TODAY!
Because my job in the fashion industry involves designing and producing apparel for many U.S. retailers and national brands, I'm always attuned to the economic variables that may affect the retail market.
This week, I read two pieces of information that [...]
I don't know what's wrong with me. Either I'm still suffering from jet lag or I'm discovering the ramifications of subsisting solely on leftover turkey sandwiches for an entire week. My sinuses are killing me. My stomach has declared mutiny. And for the past 5 days, I've embarked on a [...]
Greetings from Cambodia, my friends!
While some of you may only know this country as the birthplace of it's most famous citizen, Maddox Jolie, Cambodia is a fascinating place with a rich cultural history. Twenty-five years since the demise of the Khmer Rouge, this peaceful land has [...]
The Peanut has been sick as a dog for a week. How do I know this? Many reasons but mainly because while sleeping in our bed the other night, she lifted her head, threw up on my face, and whispered, "I think I'm sick, Daddy."
By the way, I'm no scientist [...]
There have been three occasions over the course of my lifetime where my undying love for music has endangered my physical well-being:
In 1989, I went to see Boogie Down Productions and the legendary KRS-One perform at a shitty rap club in an even shittier part of Oakland. During the concert, a fight [...]
Little Asian Orphan Annie and her dog, Sandy
I threw on the tux, put on a bald skull cap, and went as Daddy Warbucks while Peanut ran around singing "Tomorrow" at the top of her lungs. Non-stop hilarity ensued.
Best costume idea for a [...]
Friedrich Nietzsche once said, Battle not with monsters lest you become one.
Normally I'd say that, in the grand pantheon of parenting literature, this is the wisest and most profound philosophical statement ever proffered on the subject of dealing with an unruly toddler.
However, I tend to discount anything ever said by [...]
This past weekend, I attended my 20-year high school reunion.
Crazy, right? I know you're sitting there thinking, "Wait,
how the fuck is it possible that MetroDad is having his 20-year reunion?
He's too young! Did he skip elementary school?"
Well, don't let the beautiful hair and insouciant attitude fool you, my [...]
5 THINGS MY DAUGHTER HAS LICKED RECENTLY
1. The subway pole on the 2 Train
2. The sidewalk
3. The bottom of her sneakers
4. A random car tire
5. The entire left side of my face (while I was sleeping)
5 RECENT NON SEQUITURS FROM MY DAUGHTER'S MOUTH
1. "Can I have [...]
No time for a real post. Too busy trying to figure out which new television shows I want to watch. Also, my All-Star team of physicians from Mt. Sinai has me on some medication that prevents me from drinking alcohol for two weeks. I don't know if it's the pills [...]
Dear Peanut,
Happy 3rd birthday!
Now, as usual, I could trip the light saptastic, wax poetic about how much I love you, and gush how, over the past three years, you've changed my life in ways that I never could have fathomed. I could tell you about the tears and [...]
See this ticket? That's my 2007 World Series Game 4 ticket for the NY Mets.
But oh snap! The Mets didn't even make the playoffs! Despite having been in first place of the division for most of the season, the Mets suffered a monumental collapse and blew [...]
Like many other parents here in New York City, I sometimes contemplate leaving the urban jungle for the greener pastures of the surrounding suburbs.
I'll admit that there's a small part of me that would LOVE to live on a cozy little cul-de-sac where the Peanut can play freely (and [...]
Beloved Carnegie Mellon professor Randy Pausch recently discovered that he has incurable pancreatic cancer and has only a few short months to live. This week, he addressed his students in a final farewell lecture, which he entitled "How To Live Your Dreams."
The Wall Street Journal called it "the lecture [...]
As I've mentioned here before, during the first year of the Peanut's life, I was The Man!
To my lovely little daughter, I was the living embodiment of Christmas, Elmo, and an all-you-can-eat ice cream buffet.
When she woke up in the morning, she demanded that I be the one [...]
Dear Andy,
It's been six long years since your life was tragically cut short. Sometimes it seems the nightmare of 9/11 was just yesterday. Other times, it feels like a million lifetimes ago. I know I say that to you every year but, for some reason, the passing of time is [...]
Hello!
Or as they like to say in Texas, Hola!
Please excuse my extended absence, friends. I've been in cowboy country for the past week visiting the in-laws. Not only did I have limited internet access but I was also extremely busy trying to confuse all the natives by moseying [...]
DAYTIME NAP, ALMOST 3 YEARS OLD, DIES
After a successful 34-month reign, a young Manhattan girl's daily nap ritual officially passed away on August 22, 2007. Although the official medical report has yet to be released, it appears that there were no early indications of the passing of the nap. The [...]
Aside from the fact that I like Coldplay, have an unnatural love for cheesy romantic comedies, and once made a spinach dip in a loaf of sour dough bread...
I went to see Justin Timberlake in concert last night at Madison Square Garden.
And I liked it.
Seriously. [...]
To the overweight guy at my parents' pool with the giant man-boobs...Please kindly stop wearing those wet t-shirts. You're confusing the hell out of the kids.
To Andrew...You're one of my best friends and I love you like a brother but if you ever use an emoticon in [...]
I was over at my buddy (and fellow NYC daddy blogger) Mr. Nice Guy's site today and was happy to see that he was celebrating his 500th post. Naturally, I wondered how many posts I had written over here and was shocked to see that this one right here [...]
I've got this theory that if you could somehow harness the destructive tendencies of toddlers, you could solve the world's energy crisis.
I mention this because as I sit here typing, the Peanut is here in the office with me and has been a non-stop whirlwind of living chaos. [...]
