Mommy off the Record

• Cartoons. They Ain't All That Bad.

  Number of comments: 23
  Little Guy (out of nowhere): Trust is something you can't put back together again.Me: What?Little Guy: Trust is something you can't put back together again.Me (thinking): Holy crap. He heard Husband and I arguing last night! Great. He's scarred for life.Me: Where did you hear that?Little Guy: On Bernstein Bears.Oh,' [...]
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  Posted: February 05, 2009, 1:38pm EST
  

• This is hard

  Number of comments: 11
  Being a parent is officially hard. What? It's not all going to be easy? It's not going to be baby book, Picture People perfect? But that's what I want. That's what I signed up for. I didn't sign up for the hard stuff. No, correction. I signed up for it.' [...]
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  Posted: February 04, 2009, 7:24pm EST
  

• Encopresis Yahoo Group

  Number of comments: 7
  I have started a Yahoo Group for parents of children with encopresis, children who hold their poop. I am posting here in hopes that people will find this post in Google searches and join up for advice-sharing and support. Here is the link to the group: Encopresis Kids Yahoo Group [...]
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  Posted: January 26, 2009, 11:12am EST
  

• A conversation

  Number of comments: 4
  A conversation between me and my three-year-old earlier today.Him: Bitch and fuck are not kind words.Me: No they're not.Him: No, because we should never say bitch or fuck. Because they are not kind.Me: That's right. We should never use those words.Him: Yeah. *sigh*We have this conversation on a weekly basis. [...]
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  Posted: January 18, 2009, 6:02pm EST
  

• My Three Year Old Has a Shrink. God Help Me.

  Number of comments: 9
  Reading back upon the post that kind of started it all for this blog in which as a new first-time mother, I wrote (off the record) that "if my kids don't end up in therapy, I shall celebrate", I find it ironic (and yes, I'm 99% sure I'm using this' [...]
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  Posted: December 11, 2008, 11:48am EST
  

• Reason #467 That I Don't Eat at Kentucky Fried Chicken

  Number of comments: 4
  KFC Workers Fired For Bathing In Sinkhttp://www.kcra.com/news/18243415/detail.html Finger lickin' gooood.' [...]
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  Posted: December 11, 2008, 1:45am EST
  by Mommy off the Record

• Encopresis Support Groups

  Number of comments: 5
  Please go to the following link to sign up for an Encopresis Support Group http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/encopresis_kids/This group was formed to support parents with children who suffer from encopresis. Here are some other resourceshttp://au.messages.yahoo.com/lifestyle/teenagers/481?p=1The Yahoo Group on "miralax" alternatives if your child is on laxatives.http://health.groups.yahoo.com/ [...]
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  Posted: November 22, 2008, 4:51am EST
  

• Does Your Child Hold His/Her Poop?

  Number of comments: 30
  *warning: this post is going to mention poop. a lot.*I would like to start a Yahoo Group to talk with other parents who have children who withhold their poop, also known as stool withholding or functional fecal retention. E-mail me at mommy605(at)hotmail(dot)com if you want to be contacted about the [...]
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  Posted: November 17, 2008, 6:25pm EST
  by Mommy off the Record

• WTF - Republican Candidates Edition

  Number of comments: 8
  This may be old news, but somehow I just read about it today:PENSACOLA, FL. Asked for a reaction to the news that he'd been endorsed by reality-soap bad girl Heidi Montag of "The Hills," John McCain told Swampland: "I’m honored to have Heidi’s support and I want to assure her'" [...]
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  Posted: October 21, 2008, 12:08am EDT
  

• p.s.

  Number of comments: 6
  p.s. Did I say my son is beautiful? I love him to the ends of the earth. I will figure this out for him. I will. [...]
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  Posted: October 06, 2008, 2:59am EDT
  

• So maybe I'm not crazy

  Number of comments: 20
  Me here. Still talking about poop. Thinking about poop. Poop is my life.You know, I've been searching the far reaches of the Internet for about two months now trying to figure out how to get my son to poop. Here are some of the things I've learned:1. He's not pooping' [...]
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  Posted: October 06, 2008, 2:40am EDT
  

• Let's Call the Whole Thing Off

  Number of comments: 9
  I can't take it anymore. I can't take it.I don't know what to do.This withholding. It's driving me crazy.my day is at least 6 clean-ups. bad days are 10.It's not about potty training. Potty training is the least of the problems.Daycare has labeled him special needs. Because he won't poop. [...]
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  Posted: October 03, 2008, 5:20pm EDT
  

• Is Palin Qualified to Be VP?

  Number of comments: 3
  PBS is running a poll that asks if Palin is qualified to be VP.The Reps wing has organized a massive "yes" campaign and, at the moment,"yes" is winning!Do you think Palin is Qualified to Be VP?Considering that the Republican Machine won't even let the press have access to her or' [...]
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  Posted: September 24, 2008, 11:40pm EDT
  

• On Raising Children Green

  Number of comments: 3
  Driving home from grocery shopping with my three-year-old yesterday....Me: We're here! Little Guy: We're home!Me: Are you happy to be coming home?Little Guy: Yeah....but I wish I had a bigger home. I want a bigger home.Me: Why do you want a bigger home?Little Guy: So I can get more toys [...]
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  Posted: September 16, 2008, 1:00am EDT
  

• Think Before You Pink

  Number of comments: 17
  Received via e-mail from a PR firm in New York...Hi Mommy Off The Record,Did you know that a woman will be diagnosed with breast cancer by the time you finish reading this email? A woman is diagnosed with breast cancer every 2 minutes – you can help a woman in [...]
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  Posted: September 05, 2008, 11:32pm EDT
  

• Poop

  Number of comments: 11
  My life revolves around poop. Little Guy has some major pooping problems. Basically, he holds his poop and won't go. For so long I thought he was just constipated. We changed diet. We tried exercise. We did supplements.But now I know that none of that really matters all that much' [...]
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  Posted: September 04, 2008, 11:10pm EDT
  

• Goodbye for Now

  Number of comments: 8
  I won't be posting here for a while. I am finding life a wee bit overwhelming and need to concentrate on family and getting myself to feel normal again. Unfortunately, that means letting go of some of the things I have loved in the past, like my little blog here.I' [...]
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  Posted: August 11, 2008, 4:31pm EDT
  

• Liar Liar Pants on Fire

  Number of comments: 11
  At only three years and 2 weeks old Little Guy is already lying to me.Case in point. This morning, I was in the bedroom with the baby and I heard Little Guy in the kitchen pantry. Whatever he was touching was crinkly so I suspected he was eating some veggie [...]
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  Posted: July 14, 2008, 2:10pm EDT
  

• Help a Sista Out

  Number of comments: 3
  Poor Izzy has broken her foot in a freak accident. She's looking for someone who would like to buy her BlogHer pass at a discount (she's asking $200, which is about $100 off - a great deal). If you are interested, go here to her site and leave her a [...]
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  Posted: June 30, 2008, 4:31am EDT
  

• New Community Forum for Green Moms!

  Number of comments: 6
  Today we launched a new community forum for parents who are interested in green living - the Green Mom Finds Community Network. I am really excited about the opportunity to chat with people and make connections with folks. Check it out if you have a couple secs - and if [...]
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  Posted: June 17, 2008, 1:55am EDT
  

• The Hazards of Ironing Naked

  Number of comments: 12
  Husband: I finally did it today.Me: Did what?Husband: I finally burned my dick with the iron.Ouch. It was difficult for me to refrain from saying "I told you so." But I told him so.Dudes should just not iron naked. They're totally playing with fire.Possible Odd News Story Headline: Desperate Father' [...]
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  Posted: June 16, 2008, 3:00am EDT
  by Mommy off the Record

• I'm Too Tired to Think of a Title for This Post. Maybe It's My Adrenal Fatigue.

  Number of comments: 9
  Thank you kind folks who left me comments of support on my last post. Today was a slightly better day in that I didn't throw anything or scream. Progress.I think I have adrenal fatigue. At least that is what my holistic doctor thinks. I went to see her today. Actually,' [...]
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  Posted: June 10, 2008, 1:07am EDT
  

• How You Know You're Not Having a Good Weekend

  Number of comments: 22
  1. The suppository that you administered to your toddler didn't work. He never pooped. It's been 8 days.2. You threw a 2-lb plastic laugh and learn toy at your husband. 3. You later threw a bowl of guacamole on the ground after you opened up three avocados and realized they [...]
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  Posted: June 08, 2008, 9:13pm EDT
  

• Review: Personalized Photo Cards - tiny*prints

  Number of comments: 1
  If you're looking for a really special invitation or announcement that can be tailored with your children's picture, then look no further than tiny*prints. I had the opportunity to review their invitations as part of the Parent Bloggers Network recently and my biggest problem was trying to figure out which [...]
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  Posted: June 06, 2008, 3:07am EDT
  

• Reason #56 Why TV Isn't That Bad After All

  Number of comments: 12
  Scene: Me and Little Guy on the floor with his toy train.Little Guy: Mommy, can you put my train together for me?Me: Sure!Five minutes later I'm still fidgeting with the goddamn thing.Little Guy: Gee, this is exasperating!Me: What did you say?Little Guy: This is exasperating!Me (to hubby in the other' [...]
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  Posted: May 26, 2008, 9:04pm EDT
  

• The Diet from Hell

  Number of comments: 20
  I don't think I've blogged about this before, but my baby has eczema. He's had it since he was 4 months old. He's now 9 months old and it hasn't gotten any better. It's all over his back, but no where else. It looks like a chemical burn or something. [...]
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  Posted: May 17, 2008, 10:33pm EDT
  

• I am SO behind the times

  Number of comments: 10
  I finally had a few minutes to get onto Twitter and find out what it's all about. And holy shit, people. It's like crack for bloggers. Crack. It should be illegal, I tell you. I already have 5 email accounts and 4 blogs. I don't have time for this! And yet...I feel [...]
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  Posted: May 15, 2008, 3:21am EDT
  

• Johnson & Johnson Marketing Toxic Baby Perfume?

  Number of comments: 21
  The other day my friend told me that she has a friend that puts perfume on her baby.My immediate thought was: WTF?I questioned her about it and found out that this woman does indeed put perfume on her infant. Cuz, you know, she wants to make her baby smell good.Why [...]
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  Posted: May 12, 2008, 3:07am EDT
  

• Not Just a Pretty Face: Please Read This Book

  Number of comments: 9
  If you read anything this year, this is the book you should read. A friend recommended that I read this so I bought it and I have to tell you that it is one of the most important books I have ever read. Please go read it, share it, blog [...]
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  Posted: May 09, 2008, 1:17am EDT
  

• Runnin' to the Border

  Number of comments: 12
  (Warning: do not eat while reading today's post.)I'm just going to cut right to the chase and say it: Little Guy has been having some trouble pooping lately. Actually, he's been having a LOT of trouble for the last three months. Without going into the gory details, it has been [...]
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  Posted: May 04, 2008, 4:01am EDT
  

• Why People Visit Here: Sad But True

  Number of comments: 9
  I was checking my site meter for the first time in probably a year and I found that many (too many) people are coming here via Google after searching for "barny*rd p*rn." Ew. I have gone back to the offending post and removed the wording. I imagine my site hits are [...]
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  Posted: April 28, 2008, 3:08am EDT
  by Mommy off the Record

• Rockabye Book Review

  Number of comments: 6
  When I first started blogging over two years ago, I had a very short list of blogs that I read - mainly, because I was new at blogging so I only knew of a handful of blogs. One of the very first blogs I stumbled upon was Rebecca Woolf's blog, [...]
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  Posted: April 23, 2008, 3:00am EDT
  

• Two Signs that My 2 1/2 Year Old Is Watching Too Much TV

  Number of comments: 12
  No, mommy, I don't want to! I'm going to make you go away from me with my Mickey Mouse Mouskatool!! WTF? If that's not bad enough, he will randomly and without warning shout out "P-B-S Kids DOT ORG!!" It's disturbing. But at least it's PBS, right? *sigh* [...]
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  Posted: April 22, 2008, 12:56am EDT
  

• Deep Thought for Wednesday

  Number of comments: 11
  Ah motherhood. I loooooove being a mom. Seriously. It's the best thing I've ever done in my life! However, it also makes me want to regularly throw back a few shots of tequila around 4pm. I know you know what I'm talkin about. Speaking of which, I find it ironic that the [...]
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  Posted: April 09, 2008, 3:00am EDT
  

• Shower

  Number of comments: 13
  My husband is always asking me, "What do you do in the shower for so long??" His showers take approximately 1.5 minutes. I know. It's not so green of me. But still, it really amazes me that he even has to ask. That he doesn't know what I'm doing. Standing still, [...]
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  Posted: April 05, 2008, 4:02pm EDT
  

• And the "Crappy Mother of the Year Award" Goes To...

  Number of comments: 20
  Don't bother entering the "Fucked-up Mother of the Year" Contest because I've totally got this one. I'm winning that contest. Hands down. I'm also going to win the "Bad Wifey" and "Sucky Homemaker" Awards as well. So don't even bother competing with me. Because based on my performance in these [...]
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  Posted: April 04, 2008, 1:24am EDT
  

• WTF: Mother-In-Law Edition

  Number of comments: 22
  For my birthday recently, my mother-in-law handed me a small, wrapped present. When she handed it over she said, "I hope you don't take offense to this." Uh, hmmmm. OK. I opened it. Inside was a potty training book. "I think Little Guy is ready to potty train so I thought you could [...]
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  Posted: April 01, 2008, 1:23am EDT
  

• Dirty Little Secret

  Number of comments: 16
  Before I get to the dirty little secret, can I tell you that I totally almost welled up with tears to see that people are still reading and willing to comment here. I really don't deserve it, you guys. I feel so guilty for my blog suckiness, for not getting [...]
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  Posted: March 26, 2008, 12:47am EDT
  

• Target Debaucle

  Number of comments: 14
  So, I got into a little fender bender in the Target parking lot the other day. I backed into a car that was also backing out of their parking spot. He was further backed up than I was so I kinda thought it was mostly my fault but, to be [...]
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  Posted: March 24, 2008, 8:42pm EDT
  by Mommy off the Record

• Hellooooo

  Number of comments: 14
  Just wanted to pop over here and say hi. Ever since I have gone back to work, I have had zero time to post anything over here. It is so sad. I started this blog with such excitement and now it is languishing. I actually have a really funny post to [...]
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  Posted: March 07, 2008, 2:16am EST
  by Mommy off the Record

• Men Are Such Boobs - Part Deux

  Number of comments: 13
  While at the security desk again last week.... Me: I need to get a temporary badge today. Guard #1: OK, no problem. Guard #2: (comes up from behind me and starts hovering around) Me: (turning towards him) Guard #2: What's that?? (pointing to the black, non-descript breast pump case slung on my shoulder) Me: (looking [...]
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  Posted: February 25, 2008, 3:00am EST
  

• Men Are Such Boobs

  Number of comments: 14
  I went back to work this week and fortunately for me there is a great pumping room where I can pump breastmilk during the day so that I can continue exclusively breastfeeding the baby, even while I'm away from him. Unfortunately, I lacked the access code to get into the pumping [...]
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  Posted: February 18, 2008, 4:52pm EST
  by Mommy off the Record

• California in Winter

  Number of comments: 11
  (picture removed) We were wearing shorts today and playing outside with the hose. It was that warm. WTH? (Photo taken this afternoon. I swear.) [...]
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  Posted: February 11, 2008, 5:05pm EST
  

• You Know It's Bad When....

  Number of comments: 9
  ...you're digging back (way back) into your pantry to find Halloween candy that you hid from your kid back in '07 and you're so, SO happy that you never threw it out because it's the only chocolate in your entire house and it is also the only thing saving you [...]
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  Posted: February 08, 2008, 4:45pm EST
  

• More Evidence Emerges About the Dangers of BPA Exposure to Humans. Pregnant Mothers, Infants, and Children at Highest Risk.

  Number of comments: 10
  *I want to get the word out as soon as possible about this important study but I have limited time to write something original today, so I have lifted most of this post directly from media releases about the study* Today, I participated in a media teleconference announcing the results of [...]
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  Posted: February 07, 2008, 11:56am EST
  

• WTF???

  Number of comments: 10
  I cannot think of a more suitable title for this post. Just wait until you hear this. So, as I mentioned a little while ago, I was dismayed to find out recently that the prenatal vitamins I have been taking for the last three years contain artificial coloring in them. So [...]
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  Posted: February 03, 2008, 7:20pm EST
  

• In preparation for Valentine's Day, a post on love

  Number of comments: 8
  I found this wonderful book of bedtime blessings that I bought recently. Every night before I put Little Guy to bed, we read the first few blessings in the book. Tonight he was a little under the weather. He had a low-grade fever and a stuffy nose, but he still [...]
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  Posted: January 31, 2008, 12:33am EST
  

• You Mess With My Sushi, You Mess With Me

  Want to find out what I'm so peeved about? Go check out my latest post at Moms Speak Up. [...]
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  Posted: January 30, 2008, 1:41am EST
  

• Co-Sleeping Postscript

  Number of comments: 7
  Thank you all for your supportive comments on my last post. There was one comment questioning the safety of co-sleeping. I didn't intend to start a debate on it, but I personally feel that the manner in which families choose to sleep together is totally their own business. Also, I [...]
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  Posted: January 28, 2008, 5:09pm EST
  

• Is It Possible for a Child to Be Too Polite?

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  Posted: January 23, 2008, 11:52am EST
  

• Husband Moves Back to Bed Tonight

  Number of comments: 18
  For the last 5 months I've been sleeping with another man. OK, it's not what you think. Our bed is only big enough for two, so I gave Husband the boot so I could co-sleep with the baby right after he was born. So Husband has been sleeping on the [...]
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  Posted: January 22, 2008, 12:34pm EST
  

• Take Cover, Mothergoosemouse!

  Number of comments: 5
  This post was written for Julie of Mothergoosemouse, who is getting a virtual shower today. More details here! ***** Dear Julie, Yes, take cover - but not because you're having a boy. Because you're having another child! Boy or girl it's going to be a ton of work having three kids I'm sure, [...]
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  Posted: January 21, 2008, 11:53am EST
  

• Outwitted by a Toddler. Again.

  Number of comments: 21
  So, as soon as Little Guy entered toddlerhood, I started reading every book I could on discipline. Cuz I'm not letting a toddler run my household, right? I'm the parent, right? Right. So, I decided that after reading a few books I would attempt the whole time out thing based on [...]
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  Posted: January 16, 2008, 8:27pm EST
  

• Internet Addict

  Number of comments: 10
  Wow. It's 2:00am and my 4-month-old child is sleeping in his crib. Soundly. He has been for the last three hours. A sane woman would be sleeping in her bed soundly right about now too. Instead, I'm blogging on the Internet. Just more proof that I am losing my mind. ****** On another note, [...]
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  Posted: January 13, 2008, 5:05am EST
  

• CleanWell Hits a Homerun with Their New Handsoap

  I’ve reviewed a handful of fabulous products as part of the Parent Bloggers Network, but I have to say that that I’ve never been more excited at a review opportunity than when I was asked to try out CleanWell’s new antibacterial soap. OK, I know. Your thinking, "Hand soap? Are [...]
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  Posted: January 11, 2008, 3:00am EST
  

• Anyone Got a Metal Detector Handy?

  Number of comments: 10
  Remember a few weeks ago when I told you I lost my wallet - with all my credit cards, my ID, my health plan cards, a bunch of cool gift cards (*sniff), and even my friggin library card? Yeah, well, I never did find it. And then about two weeks [...]
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  Posted: January 09, 2008, 1:26am EST
  

• Green Mom Finds - Check it Out!

  Number of comments: 11
  [...]
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  Posted: January 07, 2008, 3:00am EST
  

• How About a Little Artificial Coloring with Your Folic Acid?

  Number of comments: 12
  [...]
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  Posted: January 04, 2008, 8:55pm EST
  

• A New Year, A New Blogging Direction?

  Number of comments: 20
  [...]
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  Posted: January 03, 2008, 1:24pm EST
  

• We're Having a White Christmas After All

  Number of comments: 14
  [...]
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  Posted: December 31, 2007, 1:04am EST
  

• Bummed!

  Number of comments: 17
  [...]
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  Posted: December 29, 2007, 11:41am EST
  

• Merry Christmas Eve

  Number of comments: 10
  [...]
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  Posted: December 24, 2007, 12:57pm EST
  

• Your Turn to Respond, Similac

  Number of comments: 8
  [...]
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  Posted: December 19, 2007, 6:34pm EST
  

• The First Step Is Admitting You Have a Problem

  Number of comments: 7
  [...]
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  Posted: December 17, 2007, 12:51pm EST
  

• Is Wal-Mart Good for the Organic Movement?

  Number of comments: 10
  [...]
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  Posted: December 14, 2007, 4:44pm EST
  

• Don't Worry Dear, I'm Not Going to Kill You

  Number of comments: 11
  [...]
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  Posted: December 13, 2007, 1:12pm EST
  

• A Joyous Event of the Most Momentous Proportions Has Occurred!

  Number of comments: 17
  [...]
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  Posted: December 11, 2007, 12:34pm EST
  

• How You Know It's Time To Start Potty Training

  [...]
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  Posted: December 10, 2007, 3:00am EST
  

• Do Lead Testing Kits Work?

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  Posted: December 06, 2007, 4:02pm EST
  

• New Research Reveals Hidden Dangers In Formula Cans

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  Posted: December 05, 2007, 4:49pm EST
  

• This Is A Message From God. I Know It.

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  Posted: December 04, 2007, 3:55pm EST
  

• Oh Holy Night

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  Posted: December 02, 2007, 10:36pm EST
  

• Little Guy's Daycare is Making Me Feel Like Crap

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  Posted: November 30, 2007, 1:16am EST
  

• Where does he come up with this stuff?

  [...]
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  Posted: November 27, 2007, 3:00am EST
  

• My Heart is a Melting Puddle on the Floor

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  Posted: November 21, 2007, 10:22am EST
  

• An Open Letter

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  Posted: November 20, 2007, 3:00am EST
  

• Music You'll Want to Listen To Too!

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  Posted: November 16, 2007, 10:30am EST
  

• Another Reason to Go Vegetarian

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  Posted: November 15, 2007, 2:21pm EST
  

• Excuse Me While I Vent For A Second

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  Posted: November 15, 2007, 3:00am EST
  

• Potty Training Begins

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  Posted: November 12, 2007, 3:03am EST
  

• Someone Get Rid of This Candy Before I Eat Myself to Death

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  Posted: November 06, 2007, 11:31pm EST
  

• Printakid's Personalized Books for Children

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  Posted: November 05, 2007, 3:42am EST
  

• People Who Smash Jack-o-Lanterns are the Lowest of the Low

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  Posted: November 04, 2007, 12:22pm EST
  

• What $700 a Month of Daycare Tuition Gets You

  [...]
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  Posted: October 30, 2007, 1:50am EDT
  

• Can a Toddler Subsist on Yogurt Alone?

  [...]
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  Posted: October 26, 2007, 3:00am EDT
  

• Just Shoot Me

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  Posted: October 23, 2007, 6:43pm EDT
  

• Postscript

  [...]
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  Posted: October 22, 2007, 9:16pm EDT
  

• A Rant and a Question

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  Posted: October 16, 2007, 4:49pm EDT
  

• Showdown at the Hoedown

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  Posted: October 14, 2007, 1:31am EDT
  

• Live Breastfeeding: Beware of Nipple Flashing

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  Posted: October 10, 2007, 2:31pm EDT
  

• Reality Check

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  Posted: October 08, 2007, 11:14am EDT
  

• Why the News Sucks

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  Posted: October 04, 2007, 1:16am EDT
  

• Heart Ache

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  Posted: October 02, 2007, 12:56pm EDT
  

• Get out your nursing bras. It's time for a virtual sit in!

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  Posted: September 26, 2007, 11:02am EDT
  

• Who says you need a daughter to have someone to do girlie things with....

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  Posted: September 24, 2007, 1:37pm EDT
  

• Ah, the silly things women say to each other

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  Posted: September 20, 2007, 12:32pm EDT
  

• Moms Speak Up!

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  Posted: September 17, 2007, 7:53pm EDT
  

• On Blogging: Just One Last Thing

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  Posted: September 17, 2007, 5:51pm EDT
  

• How Can I Be a Good Blogger and a Good Mother?

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  Posted: September 14, 2007, 6:57pm EDT
  

• The Boo-Boo Kisser

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  Posted: September 12, 2007, 8:14pm EDT