blognetnews.com
» Richmond
edited by: paul_h, Richmond Editor

Jocelyn's Corner

  • Taking back Christmas!

    Number of comments: 11
    I'm tired of Christmas being one big hump and dump, so this year we're doing it differently. I'm gonna to teach my kids the true meaning of Christmas, even if it means a lot of tears and resentment. It's more important to me that they grow up to be decent [...]
     | Rate | Archive
    Posted: December 05, 2009, 12:33pm EST
    by Jocelyn Testes-Harder

  • Ain't nobody happy!

    Number of comments: 29
    We have a saying in my house: "If Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!". You won't catch my kids acting the fool around me! I've got those bitches walking on eggshells in this house. Don't get me wrong though...I'm not one of those sadistic moms! I find it's best to' [...]
     | Rate | Archive
    Posted: November 12, 2009, 11:52am EST
    by Jocelyn Testes-Harder

  • I'm a vegetarian, (but I eat meat)!

    Number of comments: 40
    I've been trying to get back in my daughter's good graces lately. She's made it clear that I lost some of her trust during her brief adventure as a runaway. It's been a real uphill battle! Her new thing is that she's decided to become a vegetarian. After reading' [...]
     | Rate | Archive
    Posted: November 05, 2009, 9:43am EST
    by Jocelyn Testes-Harder

  • I ain't got all day!

    Number of comments: 57
    Earlier this week I went to the cupboard for some Beef-a-roni, but apparently the kids had already eaten the last can. I really had my heart set on it! I was so angry that I yelled "motherfucker!", stomped out of the kitchen, and kicked the living room phone jack right [...]
     | Rate | Archive
    Posted: October 21, 2009, 9:36am EDT
    by Jocelyn Testes-Harder

  • The prodigal daughter!

    Number of comments: 14
    Darla has finally returned! She's been gone since April, when she ran away from home. Apparently she got her fill of the "real world", and has come crawling back for some sense of normalcy. Even though she's a woman of sixteen now, I was still a bit worried for [...]
     | Rate | Archive
    Posted: October 16, 2009, 8:21am EDT
    by Jocelyn Testes-Harder

  • Embarrassing the kids!

    Number of comments: 14
    My damn kids love to accuse me of embarrassing them. It's either my clothes, the way I discipline them in public, or the way I act in front of other parents at school events. I know I do it, but what can I do? Moms are never "cool". They weren't [...]
     | Rate | Archive
    Posted: October 09, 2009, 9:32am EDT
    by Jocelyn Testes-Harder

  • I want the gold, sucka!

    Number of comments: 19
    All the girls at my work are into running and fitness. They've spent the entire Summer talking about all the marathons and triathlons they've participate in this year. I'm sick of hearing about it! That's why I decided to do a little talking of my own, by bringing in a [...]
     | Rate | Archive
    Posted: September 29, 2009, 10:12am EDT
    by Jocelyn Testes-Harder

  • Let me ride!

    Number of comments: 50
    Phil has been making good money by contracting work out on some large-scale plumbing jobs. I guess that's why he thought it would be okay to trade in his 1986 Monte Carlo towards the purchase of a gently used Dodge Caliber (without even telling me!). The Caliber only has 12,000' [...]
     | Rate | Archive
    Posted: September 21, 2009, 11:32am EDT
    by Jocelyn Testes-Harder

  • My big fat rummage sale!

    Number of comments: 16
    I've been out posting signs all over the neighborhood for our yard sale this Saturday. There's stuff for all ages, including many one-of-a-kind items! Plus the kids will be selling refreshments. I don't want them messing up the kitchen making lemonade, so instead we're gonna open the cap on some [...]
     | Rate | Archive
    Posted: September 15, 2009, 9:02am EDT
    by Jocelyn Testes-Harder

  • Strangers in the night!

    Number of comments: 29
    Last night I visited Empire, a local bar that's popular with the young people. It's more crowded than usual because VCU is back in session. I only meant to have a couple drinks, but ended up finishing off their last bottle of Bushmill's, along with a couple glasses of hard' [...]
     | Rate | Archive
    Posted: September 09, 2009, 9:23am EDT
    by Jocelyn Testes-Harder

  • I do it my way!

    Number of comments: 29
    We only get one life to live. Some of you may be satisfied with whatever the lunch lady of fate slops out onto your tray, but I'm not. I demand the best, and I get it! I don't wait around for the good things in life. I take what I [...]
     | Rate | Archive
    Posted: September 02, 2009, 1:39pm EDT
    by Jocelyn Testes-Harder

  • Roommates suck!

    Number of comments: 25
    I'm going to be honest. I wasn't ready when I had my first baby. Fortunately my mother was very cool about it. So yeah, I left the baby with her for a few months, and found a place to stay where I could squeeze a few more months of enjoyment [...]
     | Rate | Archive
    Posted: August 27, 2009, 9:23am EDT
    by Jocelyn Testes-Harder

  • Men can't do anything right!

    Number of comments: 86
    Getting the kids ready each morning is a huge pain. That's why I like to leave for work before they get up. I enjoy a leisurely breakfast somewhere, or just surf the net at my desk until my shift. That leaves my new husband Phil to wake the kids, get' [...]
     | Rate | Archive
    Posted: August 20, 2009, 10:38am EDT
    by Jocelyn Testes-Harder

  • Hazing the new guy!

    Number of comments: 41
    My company just hired a new facilities manager for our building. Mr. Durwood Walsh is 62 years old, and I'm told that he's had a difficult time finding work. He was planning to retire with his wife, but that was before his old company laid him off, and his 401k [...]
     | Rate | Archive
    Posted: August 14, 2009, 9:27am EDT
    by Jocelyn Testes-Harder

  • Wild Virginia!

    Number of comments: 11
    We don't always think about it here in Richmond, but take a short drive West and you'll discover that our fine state is mostly a big beautiful wilderness. There are mountains to climb, rivers to raft, and a variety of animals to feast upon. Unfortunately, our relationship with God's creatures' [...]
     | Rate | Archive
    Posted: August 11, 2009, 9:09am EDT
    by Jocelyn Testes-Harder

  • Marijuana fun!

    Number of comments: 39
    I received a lot of angry comments on my post about marijuana law, so I'm taking this opportunity to clarify my position. Yes, I believe that marijuana should be illegal. My political beliefs have nothing to do with my constant use of the drug. The fact is, smoking weed' [...]
     | Rate | Archive
    Posted: July 30, 2009, 9:18am EDT
    by Jocelyn Testes-Harder

  • Might makes right!

    Number of comments: 110
    My ex-husband Kevin and I always had a feisty relationship. He learned early on that when I'm angry I can only communicate through loud swearing and insults. I berated him, shoved him, even threw things at his head as he walked out the door. But no matter how much I' [...]
     | Rate | Archive
    Posted: July 27, 2009, 11:22am EDT
    by Jocelyn Testes-Harder

  • I'm a naughty babysitter!

    Number of comments: 21
    On the rare occasion that I have nothing to do, I like to earn extra cash by babysitting. Did you know that the going rate starts at $5 per hour per child? And it's untaxed! There's no reason to sit home drinking with my stupid kids running around when I [...]
     | Rate | Archive
    Posted: July 21, 2009, 9:58am EDT
    by Jocelyn Testes-Harder

  • Y'all need to go through me!

    Number of comments: 19
    I work for one of the few Richmond companies that's actually hiring right now, yet our stupid HR guy decided to up and quit! Since I already have some experience in these matters, I've been tasked with not only finding his replacement, but also with hiring four more clerks [...]
     | Rate | Archive
    Posted: July 16, 2009, 9:25am EDT
    by Jocelyn Testes-Harder

  • Festival freakout!

    Number of comments: 22
    It's that time again. That time of the Summer when I ditch my kids with whatever guy I'm seeing and head out to one of the area's many music festivals! But making the most of a festival isn't always as easy as dropping Ecstasy and letting a gang of high [...]
     | Rate | Archive
    Posted: July 10, 2009, 9:12am EDT
    by Jocelyn Testes-Harder

  • Freedom, with a side of liberty!

    Number of comments: 2
    Freedom. A lot of people talk about it.

    Only a select few of us live it out loud!


    (click on image for full-size!)

    In honor of our American Independence from the Godless Red Coats, I'm posting links to a selection of posts which reflect' [...]
     | Rate | Archive
    Posted: July 03, 2009, 9:06pm EDT
    by Jocelyn Testes-Harder

  • Politically corrected!

    Number of comments: 51
    I was in my first week of community college when I learned the true nature of political correctness. It was in photography 101, my only elective. We were assigned an open project so the teacher could get a feel for our talent. My photo was a rich black and white [...]
     | Rate | Archive
    Posted: June 30, 2009, 9:18am EDT
    by Jocelyn Testes-Harder

  • You can't handle the tip!

    Number of comments: 135
    Every so often the subject of tipping etiquette comes up, and the "experts" who respond always seem to be members of the service industry. So of course they tell you to tip a minimum of 20%. You can ask a hooker what they think is fair for a dry hand [...]
     | Rate | Archive
    Posted: June 25, 2009, 9:18am EDT
    by Jocelyn Testes-Harder

  • Cell phone love!

    Number of comments: 15
    I don't even like to think about what life would be like if I didn't have a cell phone. This one simple device allows me to live my life to the fullest. It keeps me on top of my family affairs, what my friends are up to, and what time [...]
     | Rate | Archive
    Posted: June 19, 2009, 8:09am EDT
    by Jocelyn Testes-Harder

  • Gain favor with Satan!

    Number of comments: 21
    Y'all know I'm a Christian woman. I may not go to church, but I still maintain a personal relationship with our lord God. While my faith is strong, I believe that in these days of uncertainty It's still a good idea to hedge your bets. That's why I'll continue to' [...]
     | Rate | Archive
    Posted: June 16, 2009, 9:19am EDT
    by Jocelyn Testes-Harder

  • The angel of Doswell!

    Number of comments: 11
    I was downtown last weekend and ran into Dale Brumfield, the man behind News from Doswell. He can be a little intimidating at first, because he's about 6 ft 10 inches tall, and he's got hands the size of tennis rackets. We chatted a little about our blogs and [...]
     | Rate | Archive
    Posted: June 12, 2009, 9:20am EDT
    by Jocelyn Testes-Harder

  • One fine day!

    Number of comments: 18
    Saturday was a great day. It started with a trip to the CVS for some lube. I like the warming kind, so I make Phil use it even though it burns his dick hole. I happened to notice an old timer reaching into his back pocket for a prescription. He [...]
     | Rate | Archive
    Posted: June 08, 2009, 10:32am EDT
    by Jocelyn Testes-Harder

  • That little puke!

    Number of comments: 17
    With over a hundred blog posts, you'd think that I'd have mentioned more than one vomiting experience by now. I'm actually kind of a stranger to the barfcore lifestyle. I only seem to blow chunks under the most extreme of circumstances. That's why I'd almost forgotten about this one gnarly [...]
     | Rate | Archive
    Posted: June 02, 2009, 8:03am EDT
    by Jocelyn Testes-Harder

  • Florida babies!

    Number of comments: 14
    We're down here in our second home, Florida! Once again, we flew into Jacksonville. I have a cousin there, and she's letting us use her old RV. Apparently her ragamuffin kids have been sneaking in there since last summer to relieve themselves, because the toilet was filled the brim [...]
     | Rate | Archive
    Posted: May 28, 2009, 9:31am EDT
    by Jocelyn Testes-Harder

  • Making his mama proud!

    Number of comments: 15
    I took my eight year old son Brandon with me to the grocery store last month. He had managed to make some extra money by helping our neighbor drain her foot, so I let him hang around near the toy vending machines while I shopped. Along comes this kid Matt, [...]
     | Rate | Archive
    Posted: May 19, 2009, 10:14am EDT
    by Jocelyn Testes-Harder

  • Theme parks touch our lives!

    Number of comments: 6
    The house feels hot and itchy. The dog is shedding like he's got radiation poisoning. We have to get out! I decided that it was time for our annual trip to the theme park. We're sneaking because last year they kicked us out after my son used a ketchup pump [...]
     | Rate | Archive
    Posted: May 12, 2009, 8:28am EDT
    by Jocelyn Testes-Harder

  • Too much stress!

    Number of comments: 12
    I had a big presentation in front of the CEO on Wednesday afternoon. My knock-off Wonder Bra was sopping with flop sweat. At 3:30 pm, during the middle of a demonstration, I remembered that I'd never dropped off the baby, and he'd been outside in his car seat since lunch! [...]
     | Rate | Archive
    Posted: May 08, 2009, 1:15pm EDT
    by Jocelyn Testes-Harder

  • Pedestrians not wanted!

    Number of comments: 16
    The good people of the Lakeside area have really got some balls. For starters, we have more rebel flags, black lawn jockeys, and deflated Christmas inflatables than you'd ever want to see in your life. And rather than walk we drive everywhere, thanks to the absence of sidewalks, lack of [...]
     | Rate | Archive
    Posted: April 28, 2009, 11:36am EDT
    by Jocelyn Testes-Harder

  • Revenge is a dish best served bitter!

    Number of comments: 49
    I'm happily remarried to Phil, but I can't deny that i still care about Kevin, my ex-husband. That's why it's been difficult lately, dealing with him and the court system. He was finally granted visitation with the kids, which is actually kind of nice, because I get more time to [...]
     | Rate | Archive
    Posted: April 17, 2009, 9:18am EDT
    by Jocelyn Testes-Harder

  • 25 Diseases you might survive

    Number of comments: 5
    1.Stiff neck from sleeping in some backwards ass position
    2.Chicken pox the size of jumbo pepperoni slices
    3.Throat so sore that it gives you a burning earache
    4.Leg pain while you're trying to fall asleep
    5.Nose that's running and clogged simultaneously
    6.Black sock foot stench plague
    7.Morning after stranger sex [...]
     | Rate | Archive
    Posted: April 16, 2009, 3:06pm EDT
    by Jocelyn Testes-Harder

  • Western Henrico must secede!

    Number of comments: 39
    As you know, I recently moved from the City of Richmond to the Lakeside neighborhood of Henrico County. Richmond was actually part of Henrico until 1871. Then Richmond became it's own thing, and Henrico became this oddly shaped wrap-around county we see today, which borders the city mostly on the [...]
     | Rate | Archive
    Posted: April 13, 2009, 10:49am EDT
    by Jocelyn Testes-Harder

  • Parenting ain't easy!

    Number of comments: 20
    I've gotten dozens of angry comments from you non-parents who think raising kids is so simple. I can understand why it would seem that way from the outside. I just wish you could spend this week in my shoes. I've taken off work because my kids are on Spring break [...]
     | Rate | Archive
    Posted: April 09, 2009, 1:23pm EDT
    by Jocelyn Testes-Harder

  • Keep marijuana illegal!

    Number of comments: 65
    As a married woman and mother of four, you'd probably expect me to support the current state of marijuana laws. It may surprise you to learn that I'm a regular marijuana smoker. Knowing that, you may expect me to be pro-legalization. Once again, you'd be wrong. I'm firmly against the [...]
     | Rate | Archive
    Posted: April 03, 2009, 9:36am EDT
    by Jocelyn Testes-Harder

  • World's most annoying neighbors!

    Number of comments: 9
    We've got this young couple living next door to our new house. At first they were really welcoming. But lately they've been bitching about the loud music and about how their newborn is trying to sleep. I don't get it. Why can't that little shit do his sleeping when I'm [...]
     | Rate | Archive
    Posted: March 31, 2009, 9:09am EDT
    by Jocelyn Testes-Harder

  • 25 things to do when your favorite website is down!

    Number of comments: 9
    1.Retry the URL 1000 times
    2.Get in touch with your weeping
    3.Play slap n' tickle with your significant other
    4.Flip your SUV on an ice-covered road
    5.Floss your ass with your roommate's favorite hoodie
    6.Wax the floors and have a one man stocking foot race
    7.Slap a couple flame decals [...]
     | Rate | Archive
    Posted: March 26, 2009, 9:22am EDT
    by Jocelyn Testes-Harder

  • For the love of Spring!

    Number of comments: 9
    It's already feeling like Spring here in Virginia, and it's a beautiful thing. The feeling is taking over as sunlight lifts me from my foggy winter gloom. I've been sticking to my car's leather interior more and more, and I have an excuse to hide my permanent facial squint with [...]
     | Rate | Archive
    Posted: March 19, 2009, 9:55am EDT
    by Jocelyn Testes-Harder

  • Blame the teachers!

    Number of comments: 59
    I'm just a typical parent. I work all day, and I send my children to public school. They call it a free education, but it's not. I'm always being asked to shell out money for lunches, field trips, you name it. It also takes a good amount of effort to [...]
     | Rate | Archive
    Posted: March 17, 2009, 10:29am EDT
    by Jocelyn Testes-Harder

  • You're too late, fellas!

    Number of comments: 10
    Phil met my demands, and we've finally been wed in holy matrimony! Most importantly, he bought me one of those big houses I asked for! It's in a small development built within the boundaries of an older neighborhood. I like that because the houses on our block are [...]
     | Rate | Archive
    Posted: March 13, 2009, 10:43am EDT
    by Jocelyn Testes-Harder

  • I won't tolerate an idle man!

    Number of comments: 20
    I don't know what it is about the sight of a man doing nothing that just makes my blood boil! I know Phil works hard, and I respect that. But that don't mean he's gotta sit on ass and watch football every Sunday when I've got other things in mind [...]
     | Rate | Archive
    Posted: February 17, 2009, 10:36am EST
    by Jocelyn Testes-Harder

  • America must return to greatness!

    Number of comments: 9


    It's time, folks. It's time to roll up our sleeves, slip on our stretchy "USA" sweat wristbands, and get back to work on this little project we call America! It's time to clean all that dog snot off our cars' rear passenger windows. Define telemarketing as a [...]
     | Rate | Archive
    Posted: February 13, 2009, 7:46am EST
    by Jocelyn Testes-Harder

  • Some guys can't take a compliment!

    Number of comments: 23
    Our office has been really backed up on new invoices lately, so they gave me the opportunity to hire a temp. After sending us a couple of losers, the agency finally sent me someone I thought I could work with. He's a nice young married man, 22 years old, and [...]
     | Rate | Archive
    Posted: February 06, 2009, 12:21pm EST
    by Jocelyn Testes-Harder

  • The 25 worst drinks to get drunk on!

    Number of comments: 9
    1.Creme de Buddy Hackett's leg pits
    2.Piss warm cans of Milwaukee's Best
    3.Goat's milk margarita
    4.Last-sip-of-everyone-else's-beer sangria
    5.Bloody marys at a vampire cult party
    6.Steven Hawkin's wheelchair cushion rum
    7.Used Bud Ice out a latrine
    8.Rotten Cheese & Old Wood European Lager
    9.Johnny Walker: guy-with-a-plate-in-his-head formula
    10.Chemical toilet schnapps
    11.Kahlúa [...]
     | Rate | Archive
    Posted: February 03, 2009, 10:12pm EST
    by Jocelyn Testes-Harder

  • My kids are a disappointment!

    Number of comments: 32
    It's never easy being a mom. First your own parents disappoint you through your entire childhood. Then you have some kids of your own, and they're an even bigger disappointment! I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I give 'em everything they need. Maybe my kids are just a [...]
     | Rate | Archive
    Posted: January 28, 2009, 4:12pm EST
    by Jocelyn Testes-Harder

  • Let's annoy conservatives!

    Number of comments: 25
    Conservatives, for the most part, are taking this presidency change well. They've shown restraint, patience, and even a touch of class. Now that America is united once more, it's time for us to piss all over these stupid bastards! So I've thought up a few clever ideas for establishing our [...]
     | Rate | Archive
    Posted: January 20, 2009, 12:11pm EST
    by Jocelyn Testes-Harder

  • What a girl wants!

    Number of comments: 55
    As I mentioned in my last post, Phil and I are gettin' hitched! He truly is the prince I've been waiting for! I figured that setting up a few ground rules was the only way to ensure that the fairytale continues. So I've laid out my demands, and Phil [...]
     | Rate | Archive
    Posted: January 15, 2009, 11:38am EST
    by Jocelyn Testes-Harder
← Modern Atelier Haduken.com →

Blog Info:
Jocelyn's Corner

» http://www.filthyrichmond.com/

Categories

Humor

BNN Traffic Index

Alexa: 238,941
-23,024

Compete: No data
0

Quantcast: 253,792
-116,290

BNN Traffic Index: -69,657

BNN Authority Index

Technorati: 0

Google: 0

BNN Authority Index: No data

Author(s)

Jocelyn Testes-Harder

» Subscribe to the Jocelyn's Corner feed