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Irritated Tulsan

  • Reasons Not to Put Out on Valentine’s Day

    You’ve had dinner.  Sent flowers.  Mailed cards.  Bought chocolates.  Now, it’s time for the nightcap. Something’s wrong though. Things haven’t clicked, you found out your that Craigslist date just turned 12, or you’ve been married too long.  Whatever the reason, you don’t want to feed the dog a bone. It’s usually obligatory to [...]
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    Posted: February 09, 2010, 5:46am EST
    by Irritated Tulsan

  • This Homeowever Really Likes Water…

    Holy crap! This house, the one hidden in the rustic Midtown Tulsa forest, used nearly 4.1 million gallons of water in one year. During a slow news days, Tulsa World investigated Tulsa’s top water users. Anthony Lauinger’s 2.5 acre property topped the list. They also gave his address, which is 1923 [...]
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    Posted: February 09, 2010, 5:45am EST
    by Irritated Tulsan

  • Who Won This Book, Hard Style…

    Number of comments: 2
    Thank you to everyone who entered.  If I was a multi-millionaire or a criminal with access to quick cash, I’d buy everyone a copy.  Unfortunately, I’m not.  If I had millions, I wouldn’t be here right now anyway.  I’d be sitting on my private tropical island with Amy Sedaris, Lady [...]
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    Posted: February 08, 2010, 7:18am EST
    by Irritated Tulsan

  • January’s Tulsan of the Month

    Number of comments: 2
    One of these nominees did not belong.  It’s the nominee  least likely to have meth face or be a crack addict.  You’re still right, it’s Fisheepoo.  I wanted him, uh her, well, it…to win.  How do you tell the sex of a fish? Did Fisheepoo pull enough votes to become the [...]
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    Posted: February 05, 2010, 7:11am EST
    by Irritated Tulsan

  • Read The Warning Label!

    Number of comments: 5
    During “Ice-Storm 2010,” at least that is what the over-dramatic weathermen here in OKC called it; while driving on the ice-covered roads I had the misfortune of colliding into an inanimate object with my vehicle. Don’t worry, no major bones broken, just a few really ugly bruises.  I have to wear [...]
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    Posted: February 04, 2010, 5:53am EST
    by bestandworstofokc

  • Mattatarian’s Food Offering of the Week (Cheese-Stuffed Polish Sausage Edition)

    Number of comments: 3
    For more than a year, I posted my QuikTrip offerings on Tuesday.  Then, I slacked off.  I thought I had sampled everything.  I planned to stop, but by popular demand, it’s back. Tasha from Tasha Does Tulsa posted, I LOVE Mattatarian’s Food Offering of the Week! Post more, post more. Well, Tasha, it’s [...]
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    Posted: February 03, 2010, 4:41am EST
    by Irritated Tulsan

  • Win This Book, Hard-Style…

    Number of comments: 9
    Rake Smith is a revenge-seeking serial killer driving from Texas to South Dakota on a crime spree, who just happens to look good 100 percent of the time.  In his book The Hard-Style Adventures of Rake Smith: A Masterpiece and a Trilogy (minus one), Smith gives an autobiographical account of [...]
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    Posted: February 02, 2010, 5:15am EST
    by Irritated Tulsan

  • Gay-Friendly Book Not Banned at Union

    The parents of a child at Union Elementary School wanted to ban a children’s book because it alluded to a same-sex couple. Buster, the cousin of Arthur, visited Vermont to learn how maple syrup is made. He discovered syrup isn’t made from… Jump over to The Lost Ogle to finish this post. [...]
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    Posted: February 02, 2010, 5:11am EST
    by Irritated Tulsan

  • Vote for January’s Tulsan of the Month

    Number of comments: 1
    One of these nominees do not belong.  You’re right, it’s the fish.  Fisheepoo was the closest-to-human winner you voted for Tulsan of the Week.  Can Fisheepoo win Tulsan of the Month?  I think so, but the choice is yours. Also, don’t forget to vote for Tulsan of the Week.  I included [...]
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    Posted: February 01, 2010, 5:37am EST
    by Irritated Tulsan

  • Mr. M Plays in the Snow

    Number of comments: 8
    Seven inches of snow, closed schools and cabin fever.  What’s a Letter Person to do?  Play, of course. Mr. M ventured outside Friday.  As usual, things didn’t go well.  They never do.  He’s been stuck in a tree, hunted Bigfoot and fell into a well. What mess did Mr. M get into [...]
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    Posted: January 30, 2010, 12:12pm EST
    by Irritated Tulsan

  • Winterpocalypse Driving Rules

    Number of comments: 1
    With thousands without power outages throughout the state, many of our intersections will become four-way stops.  Mix that with then high number of idiot drivers and you have Winterpocalypse. Meteorologists will warn you to stay in.  I want to remind you of ice storm driving rules, should you have to get [...]
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    Posted: January 29, 2010, 6:05am EST
    by Irritated Tulsan

  • 5 Words/Phrases That Should Be Used More Often

    Number of comments: 9
    I have been giving some thought to the words we use each day, and there are some words/phrases that I just miss hearing and saying to be honest. So I have created a list of 5 words/phases that I think should be used more often. • Turd-Knocker I honestly think my grandfather [...]
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    Posted: January 28, 2010, 5:32am EST
    by bestandworstofokc

  • 10 Recent Tweets Sent from Pat Robertson’s iPhone

    Number of comments: 2
    Pat Robertson said the Haitians made a pact with the devil to free themselves from their former French slave masters.  Yes, slavery that occurred 200 years ago.  Because of this pact, God struck Haiti with a 7.0 earthquake. He also said that Katrina was because of America’s abortion policies and predicted [...]
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    Posted: January 27, 2010, 5:20am EST
    by Irritated Tulsan

  • Slo Ride Homicide

    …Daniel Kitchens pulled his glock on Christopher Conrad after he and another thug, Chester Shadwick, assaulted Kitchens as he tried to enter Slo Ride Saloon. When EMSA arrived, they found Conrad shot in the torso, which I find sloppy. I’m very disgusted at the quality of citizen-shootings lately… Jump over to The [...]
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    Posted: January 26, 2010, 3:26am EST
    by Irritated Tulsan

  • The Un-Spoken Problem with Our Budget

    Number of comments: 4
    Tulsa may soon have 155 fewer police officers to bust our meth-labs-of-the-day and 147 fewer firefighters to pose for sexy calendars.  I’m sure if Mr. September is gone, Dewey Bartlett will strip down to his pinstriped garter belt and step into the world of shirtless modeling. How’s that for a mental [...]
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    Posted: January 25, 2010, 5:32am EST
    by Irritated Tulsan

  • Letter to the Editor #22 (Lights Out Edition)

    Number of comments: 1
    Good evening Irritated Tulsan, I am a TU student from out-of-state and as such, have an unfortunately low awareness for current Tulsa issues, but keep as up to date as possible by reading your blog. I have a question for you, if you have a moment or would care to publically [...]
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    Posted: January 22, 2010, 5:23am EST
    by Irritated Tulsan

  • Now I Have a Fear of the Men’s Restroom!

    Number of comments: 7
    There is this creepy guy I work with, he is sort of like Milton from the Office Space movie. Most people at work do their very best to avoid the guy, not only is he very strange but being around him just makes people very uncomfortable. The reason I even mention [...]
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    Posted: January 21, 2010, 5:34am EST
    by bestandworstofokc

  • How to Use Best Buy’s Best Methods to Fix the City Budget

    Number of comments: 3
    If there’s a company that knows how to swindle money out of its customers master an honest and workable business plan, it’s Best Buy.  Without their deceptive strategic model, they’d net a smaller profit and possibly a loss. Because of the bad economy, cities need to cut millions.  The biggest issue [...]
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    Posted: January 19, 2010, 5:52am EST
    by Irritated Tulsan

  • Insane (I’m Guessing) Man Shot at Radio Station

    A calm stable outstanding citizen of Wagoner, Oklahoma (yes, it’s sarcasm) visited Tulsa Wednesday with a gun in hand. If you’re familiar with Wagoner, he’s as stable as they come. I offer this letter I received, but never forwarded, as proof: Jump over to The Lost Ogle to finish this post [...][...]
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    Posted: January 19, 2010, 5:50am EST
    by Irritated Tulsan

  • All Roads Lead to Lil Eno

    On Facebook there’s been a call out for retro pics. Many people have changed their profile pic to a childhood photo. In honor of that request, I dug up retro Yaw Eno pics. From an early school portrait (pictured above) to a Sears family shoot, it’s a walk through Yaw [...]
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    Posted: January 18, 2010, 6:46am EST
    by Irritated Tulsan

  • My Artwork at 5-Years-Old

    Number of comments: 9
    Long before I became your beloved blogger, apparently I was an artist. I found these in an old trunk. By the signature on the back, I’m around 5-years-old because that was the last time I wrote legibly. Seriously, my handwriting is atrocious, but this artwork isn’t. Enjoy my art. . This piece [...]
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    Posted: January 15, 2010, 5:18am EST
    by Irritated Tulsan

  • My Night Out with the Irritated Tulsan

    Not too long ago my wife and I were in Tulsa visiting family. While there we managed to meet up with Jerry, the Irritated Tulsan. Since he is an ambassador of Tulsa, we talked him in to showing us around to some of the great places Tulsa has to offer. Our [...]
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    Posted: January 14, 2010, 5:36am EST
    by bestandworstofokc

  • Myriad Botanical Gardens

    Number of comments: 3
    After a year of begging, Victor, author of The Best and Worst of OKC persuaded me to visit OKC.  While I was there, we visited the Myriad Botanical Gardens and Crystal Bridge Conservatory.  It’s nice.  Since it was my day off, I didn’t take any pictures.  Not one.  However, Victor [...]
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    Posted: January 13, 2010, 5:53am EST
    by Irritated Tulsan

  • Getting Laid … Off

    Number of comments: 1
    Arrow Trucking laid off … is that correct?  Laid off?  It sounds dirty.  They laid their entire staff. The City of Tulsa plans to lay off hundreds of firefighters and police officers. There should be a better term than “laid off.” “Laid off” sounds exciting.  It certainly sounds more enjoyable than “self-service pump.” The [...]
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    Posted: January 12, 2010, 4:30am EST
    by Irritated Tulsan

  • Something’s Up at the Zoo

    Ok. I’m not even cold enough to make fun of this one. Two giraffes have died at the Tulsa Zoo within the past two months. Tulsa Zoo is being ripped on discussion boards,  but I’m going to defend them. I know, rare. Here it goes… Jump over to The Lost Ogle to [...]
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    Posted: January 12, 2010, 4:29am EST
    by Irritated Tulsan

  • 10 Warning Signs Your Favorite Meteorologist Has Gone Nuts

    Number of comments: 3
    November is their ratings period.  December is Christmas shopping.  January, they can finally relax.  Not this time. January is normally their down time, but with the blizzard, daily highs of 10 degrees and the never-ending ‘cute’ pictures of someone’s dog in the snow, they’ve been on Breaking Weather overload. Last weekend’s rare [...]
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    Posted: January 11, 2010, 6:35am EST
    by Irritated Tulsan

  • If They Mated: Who is Hottest?

    Number of comments: 4
    Not that you would be attracted to any of these offspring, but if you had to … who would you tap? I’m not saying that you want to.  I’m saying let’s pretend the fate of mankind rests upon your shoulders and you had to tap one?  Which one would it be? If [...]
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    Posted: January 08, 2010, 2:00pm EST
    by Irritated Tulsan

  • If They Mated: Paris Hilton & The Verizon Guy

    Number of comments: 4
    I’m starting to think your match ideas are funnier than mine.  Today’s final match is from a reader who begged to remain anonymous.  Isn’t that right Cloris Leachman?  Yes, I’m popular with superstars now. Speaking of superstars, today’s DNA soup mix features none.  Cell phone lover Paris Hilton and cell phone [...]
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    Posted: January 08, 2010, 6:05am EST
    by Irritated Tulsan

  • If They Mated: Amy Winehouse & 666BOI

    Number of comments: 7
    Baloney from That’s Baloney turned in 666BOI for the fourth installation of If They Mated You Pick Em Week.  Her love match for the fluffy dark one?  Amy Winehouse. One person is, well, I assume dead.  The other is near death.  Can the passionate heat among these two libido-driven hormone buckets [...]
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    Posted: January 07, 2010, 12:00pm EST
    by Irritated Tulsan

  • 5 Unknown Uses for NyQuil

    Number of comments: 5
    For the past several days I have been dealing with a very nasty cold. The congestion, sinus pressure, coughing and sore throat have been very difficult to deal with. Then again, according to my wife, I have been very difficult to deal with. I blame it on all of the [...]
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    Posted: January 07, 2010, 6:36am EST
    by bestandworstofokc

  • If They Mated: Sarah Palin & Jerry Springer

    Number of comments: 4
    Victor from The Best and Worst of OKC asked to see what Sarah Palin and Jerry Springer’s offspring would look like on this third day of If They Mated You Pick ‘Em Week. I too would like to see this match.  A piece of trash mating with a piece of trash [...]
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    Posted: January 06, 2010, 12:00pm EST
    by Irritated Tulsan

  • Flame Broiled Organs

    Number of comments: 5
    Finally, a sandwich not dressed in lights, makeup or flattering angles.  A sandwich true to its ingredients. Introducing Burger King’s Orginal (pronounced ‘oar-gih-nul’) Chicken Sandwich, made with freshly slaughtered chickens. No more deep-fried unhealthiness.  BK’s Orginal Chicken Sandwich is packed with liver, kidney, colon, beak and various forms of meat. What’s that juicy [...]
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    Posted: January 06, 2010, 6:00am EST
    by Irritated Tulsan

  • If They Mated: Hillary Clinton & Danny Devito

    Number of comments: 4
    It’s the second day of If The Mated You Pick Em week.  Jimmie asked to see what would happen if Hillary Clinton and Danny Devito mated.  I hadn’t considered the pair before, but what could possibly go wrong?  They’ll have beautiful children.  Let’s just run them through the software and… Oh [...]
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    Posted: January 05, 2010, 2:00pm EST
    by Irritated Tulsan

  • Tulsa’s Worst Places to Wake-Up Dead

    Number of comments: 6
    Last year, police arrested a man at the ghetto Walmart who used a credit card lifted from a dead man at an adult video porn store.  The deceased was a retired high school teacher. Witnesses said, “Ewwwww.” How traumatic was it for the family of the deceased?  What was the funeral like? “He [...]
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    Posted: January 05, 2010, 6:18am EST
    by Irritated Tulsan

  • Downtown YMCA Moves, Creates Really-Homeless People

    …The two-floors-plus-basement Y will not include: a pool, racquetball court, basketball court, parking lot or crazy homeless person warning me about the end of civilization. This move will also close the residency program, thus creating really-homeless people… Jump over to The Lost Ogle to read this fantastically written wonderful post. [...]
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    Posted: January 05, 2010, 6:15am EST
    by Irritated Tulsan

  • If They Mated: Kate Gosselin & Octomom

    Number of comments: 5
    It’s that time again. Time for a new week of If They Mated. I don’t  know who will mate tomorrow. I only have today’s. That’s where you come in. Send me your matches, I’ll run them through the space-age software and we’ll see the results. Many glitches have been [...][...]
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    Posted: January 04, 2010, 12:00pm EST
    by Irritated Tulsan

  • Time to Let Dick Go

    Number of comments: 9
    I know this won’t be easy for many of you.  We’ve grown up with him, we danced with him and we counted down the New Year’s Ball with him.  It’s time to let him go. No one will admit it, but it’s too hard to watch Dick Clark.  We need to [...]
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    Posted: January 04, 2010, 6:43am EST
    by Irritated Tulsan

  • Tulsan of the Year 2009

    Number of comments: 5
    First, Happy New Year. Second, I’ve tallied the votes for Tulsan of the Year. Third, voting does matter because … fourth, the winner won by one vote. That’s right, one single vote. So, if your candidate didn’t win and you’re thinking to yourself, “Darn it, I meant to vote,” then it is [...]
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    Posted: January 01, 2010, 7:49am EST
    by Irritated Tulsan

  • This is Snuggie Weather!

    Number of comments: 9
    As everyone knows, Oklahoma City was recently blessed with a record amount of snow; I believe the final total was 14 inches. Along with the snow came very high winds and frigid temperatures, perfect weather to just stay indoors and keep warm. One might even say it was the perfect [...]
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    Posted: December 31, 2009, 6:17am EST
    by bestandworstofokc

  • Worst Posts of 2009

    Number of comments: 3
    Yesterday I posted the 20 most popular posts of 2009.  Now, it’s time for the worst.  These are posts that few readers cared about.  I may have thought they were great, but I was in the minority.  Normally, I would say, “enjoy.”  Since you didn’t care for them the first [...]
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    Posted: December 30, 2009, 7:20am EST
    by Irritated Tulsan

  • Top 20 Posts of 2009

    Number of comments: 3
    I started this blog in 2008, but 2009 was my first full year.  I’ve said this before, but I didn’t think I’d get past 50 posts.  I’ve written nearly 700.  However, this is a week where I don’t want write anything new.  Instead, I’d rather do countdowns.   Based on the [...]
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    Posted: December 29, 2009, 6:27am EST
    by Irritated Tulsan

  • Awkward 2009 Moments

    Although 2009 didn’t have any local newsmen soiling themselves or women making sex tapes with dogs, the year did have its share of awkward moments. From Kathy Taylor’s multiple personalities to Alien bank robbers, there were many stories worth making fun of. For a recap of the humorous, ridiculous and delusional [...]
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    Posted: December 29, 2009, 6:22am EST
    by Irritated Tulsan

  • Mattatarian’s Food Offering of the Week (Year-End Wrap Up Edition)

    Number of comments: 5
    Mattatarian’s Food Offering of the Week started as a peace offering to a Lost Ogle reader.  A reader that wasn’t too kind about my Tulsa Tuesday column.  As a peace offering, I featured virtual treats from QuikTrip for him to enjoy.  Eighteen months later, I’m still sampling their food, but [...]
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    Posted: December 29, 2009, 11:01pm EST
    by Irritated Tulsan

  • Vote for Tulsan of The Year 2009

    Number of comments: 8
    We’ve reached the end of the first year of Tulsan of the Week.  Will I continue the weekly vote in 2010?  I haven’t decided yet, but for now, it’s time to vote for the honorable Tulsan of the Year. Each week (almost) you voted for the current deserving Tulsan.  Then, the [...]
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    Posted: December 28, 2009, 7:02am EST
    by Irritated Tulsan

  • Frozen Fish Trauma

    Number of comments: 9
    Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!  The blizzard froze my fish!  How traumatic for me! This morning, I thought to myself, “I wonder how frozen my pond is.”  I looked outside.  This is what I saw. Until the snow melts, I will never look in my backyard again. Update: It’s alive.  It hasn’t broken through its icy cell [...]
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    Posted: December 27, 2009, 12:56pm EST
    by Irritated Tulsan

  • 10 Tweets Sent from Santa’s Sled

    Number of comments: 2
    Merry Christmas everyone.  Hopefully, you’ve been good and Santa brought you nice gifts.  I don’t think he was really into gift-giving this year.  It’s not because I’m on the naughty list, it’s because of what he posted in his Twitter account.  He seemed a little angry, maybe drunk.  Check out [...]
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    Posted: December 25, 2009, 7:28am EST
    by Irritated Tulsan

  • If They Mated: Carrie Underwood & Mike Fisher

    Number of comments: 2
    Carrie Underwood finally found someone worth marrying, Canadian hockey player Mike Fisher. He better be faithful. Last time someone cheated on her she dug her key into the side of his pretty little souped-up 4 wheel drive. Then, she carved her name into his leather seat. They make a nice couple, [...]
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    Posted: December 24, 2009, 6:38am EST
    by Irritated Tulsan

  • Angry Vagina Attacks Durant Boy

    Number of comments: 8
    An Oklahoma boy, who decided it was time to become a man, was attacked by the beaver he reached out to stroke. The boy had gone outside to search for pussy, which oddly the family considers a pet.  I don’t know what country they’re from, but that word is offensive and [...]
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    Posted: December 23, 2009, 5:24am EST
    by Irritated Tulsan

  • If Your Spouse Catches on Fire and other Tree Decorating Tips

    If your spouse, child or in-laws should catch fire while you decorate the Christmas tree, you might grab the nearest fire extinguisher.  If you’re not a fan of any of these people, you might toss Eggnog on the flames.  Either solution would be wrong. There are easy and affordable do-it-yourself solutions [...]
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    Posted: December 22, 2009, 6:18am EST
    by Irritated Tulsan

  • Last Minute Shopping Advice…

    Normally my job, or rather volunteer work, at The Lost Ogle is to bring you something blog worthy from Tulsa. Instead of reporting on TPS layoffs, TPS administrator raises, our new mayor or the latest meth bust, I wanted to send an honest and heartfelt holiday message to the last [...]
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    Posted: December 22, 2009, 6:13am EST
    by Irritated Tulsan

  • Festival of Trees 2009: The Trees

    (I originally planned to post this Friday, but TPS Superintendent Keith Ballard really ticked me off, so I pushed this to today. I needed to rant.) It’s the 25th anniversary of Philbrook Museum’s Festival of Trees.  This yearly fundraiser showcases Christmas trees, Christmas pins and gingerbread houses created by local artists [...]
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    Posted: December 21, 2009, 6:31am EST
    by Irritated Tulsan

  • Dear Superintendent Keith Ballard

    Number of comments: 9
    Dear Mr. Ballard, I believe I speak for most Tulsans when I give you a big ‘Up Yours.’  Tulsa Public Schools stands at a $3.5 million deficit.  You proposed a hiring freeze, eliminating substitutes, furloughs and will cut 100 positions.  You will also give raises to administrators. You said the raises were [...]
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    Posted: December 18, 2009, 6:52am EST
    by Irritated Tulsan

  • Ten Signs the Santa at the Mall is Nuts

    10. Tells little boys about the comparative kill ratio of the AK-47 over the Daisy Air Rifle. 9. He has very suspicious stains on his Santa suit. 8. Keeps asking children if they know any tasty reindeer recipes. 7. The twinkle in his eye and the twitch of his nose are due to [...]
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    Posted: December 17, 2009, 5:51am EST
    by bestandworstofokc

  • Disgruntled Christmas Cards

    Number of comments: 9
    As we get closer to Christmas, it’s time to think about those we dread seeing.  In-laws?  Screaming children?  Creepy Uncles?  This year instead of playing nice in honor of the holiday season, why not give yourself a gift and be honest?  Print and mail one of these Disgruntled Christmas Cards [...]
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    Posted: December 16, 2009, 5:40am EST
    by Irritated Tulsan

  • 30 Wrong Christmas Presents to Give

    Number of comments: 9
    The lack of desire to wait 2 hours in a Walmart checkout lane because they only opened five of their 80 registers, can result in poor gift giving choices.  After several hours of shoving people out of your way for the last Zhu Zhu Pet Hamster, what’s left?  No more [...]
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    Posted: December 15, 2009, 6:25am EST
    by Irritated Tulsan

  • Mattatarian’s Food Offering of the Week (Buffalo Chicken Strip Edition)

    Number of comments: 3
    This week’s offering is QuikTrip’s new Buffalo Chicken Strips, unless you’re reading this months later and it’s no longer new.  These popped up in QT last week.  I can’t handle spicy foods, but I really wanted to try one, so I bit into it.  My mouth burned for 20 minutes.  [...]
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    Posted: December 15, 2009, 6:20am EST
    by Irritated Tulsan

  • KISS Never Visited My School…

    KISS presented Wilson Middle School with $100,000 in new musical instruments Wednesday while they taped an episode of ABC’s Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. How f****** awesome is that? I don’t care if it’s marketing or PR, but I would’ve ripped off my left testicle to see Gene Simmons walk the halls of [...]
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    Posted: December 15, 2009, 5:59am EST
    by Irritated Tulsan

  • Bad Words with Christmas Fonts

    Number of comments: 4
    A simple look at Bad Words with Christmas Fonts… [...]
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    Posted: December 14, 2009, 6:02am EST
    by Irritated Tulsan

  • Festival of Trees 2009: Gingerbread Houses

    Number of comments: 9
    It’s the 25th anniversary of Philbrook Museum’s Festival of Trees.  This yearly fundraiser showcases Christmas trees, Christmas pins and gingerbread houses created by local artists and organizations.  Everything is for sale.  The proceeds help support the museum.  So, instead of giving money to white-trash panhandlers trying to raise $8 for [...]
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    Posted: December 11, 2009, 5:51am EST
    by Irritated Tulsan

  • All I Want For Christmas…

    Number of comments: 4
    Christmas is fast approaching and I have already been asked the question “Victor, what do your want for Christmas?” To be perfectly honest I don’t think it matters what I want for Christmas. Until my son was born I really didn’t care much for this holiday. Now I have been [...]
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    Posted: December 10, 2009, 5:51am EST
    by bestandworstofokc

  • A Hooker and Some Gas

    Number of comments: 9
    It’s that time of year where every white-trash skank hits the streets to purge pocket change out of those feeling the Christmas spirit. Most stories begin with, “My car ran out of gas…” If you listen long enough, you might hear about the medicine they need for their sick children. I had [...]
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    Posted: December 09, 2009, 6:15am EST
    by Irritated Tulsan

  • Moron Speaks Out on the Dangers of Being an Idiot

    The message “John” wants to send is that it’s never a good idea to follow thugs to their car, hop in the back seat and let them drive away, leaving your girlfriend and any sign of intelligence behind. Jump over to The Lost Ogle to finish this post. [...]
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    Posted: December 08, 2009, 12:00pm EST
    by Irritated Tulsan

  • Why I Don’t Give a S*** About the Tiger Woods Story and Neither Should You

    Number of comments: 9
    The world as we know it has come to an end.  Tiger Woods cheated on his wife.  A 2012-level mass hysteria has hit the streets. The Tiger Woods story is the only allowable topic in my office.  It’s as shocking as if he drowned a puppy or ate a baby.  I’d [...]
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    Posted: December 08, 2009, 6:06am EST
    by Irritated Tulsan

  • Letter to the Editor #21 (Dear Tiger Woods Edition)

    Number of comments: 1
    (A reader named Donald asked if I would post his letter to Tiger Woods.  Always willing to publish a free post, I said, “Yes.”  The following is his letter) Tiger Woods has allegedly had an affair with Las Vegas cocktail waitress Jaimee Grubbs (and possibly the entire Dallas Cowboys cheerleading squad).    [...]
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    Posted: December 07, 2009, 5:58pm EST
    by Irritated Tulsan

  • Kathy Taylor’s Un-Greatest Moments

    Number of comments: 3
    Tulsa has reached the end of Kathy Taylor’s reign.  She accomplished many great things for our city, such as … um …. and, uh … um … well … her daughter hasn’t had a DUI in a while. That’s quite an accomplishment. As time passes, we’ll know if her tenure benefitted [...]
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    Posted: December 07, 2009, 6:03am EST
    by Irritated Tulsan

  • November’s Tulsan of the Month

    I knew that Ted’s mom would win, which explains why she lost.  The candidate I vote for always loses.  Hillary Clinton, Mark Perkins, Paul Tay, anyone?    It became a close fight between my favorite restaurant and a douche.  On December 27, this month’s winner will fight for Tulsan of the [...]
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    Posted: December 04, 2009, 6:47am EST
    by Irritated Tulsan

  • Don’t Get Smacked In the Cereal Aisle

    Number of comments: 3
    My wife and I have been together for almost nine years now, and over the years I have developed a bit of a habit. If I am walking through our house and pass by my wife I will give her a little smack on the butt. Sometimes she will even [...]
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    Posted: December 03, 2009, 5:55am EST
    by bestandworstofokc

  • The Ever-So-Suspicious Kathy Taylor

    Number of comments: 1
    Something suspicious is going on with our soon-to-be former mayor, Kathy Taylor.  I haven’t put my finger on it, but either she’s moved into crazy-menopause mode or finally admitting she’s an alien. I know, that’s ridiculous.  Her juices dried decades ago. Taylor is in full PR mode.  Not just in random news [...]
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    Posted: December 02, 2009, 6:36am EST
    by Irritated Tulsan

  • Seven Sex Mistakes Men Make

    Number of comments: 3
    Today, I may save your sex life.  Your girlfriend or wife claims you please her, but you can’t be sure, until now.  Forget the Kama Sutra, thousands of self-help books or 80s Prince records.  I’ve wrapped everything neatly into a list of seven sex mistakes, which let you know if [...]
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    Posted: December 01, 2009, 6:26am EST
    by Irritated Tulsan

  • Tulsa Mayor’s Library (Nude Sculpture Event?)

    … Located on the 15th floor of the City Hall, tour groups and those who make appointments can view the huge ego collection, rewritten history and angelic photos of Tulsa’s former mayors. There will also be individual video interviews of past mayors, unless they’re dead. In that case, Wilford Brimley [...]
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    Posted: December 01, 2009, 6:16am EST
    by Irritated Tulsan

  • Vote for November’s Tulsan of the Month

    Only four weeks left until you choose the Tulsan of the Year, but before that, November’s Tulsan of the Month must move forward. You may notice there’s only three nominees.  There’s usually four.  Yeah, I slacked off a couple of weeks back and only have three honorees this month.  I’m back [...]
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    Posted: November 30, 2009, 6:15am EST
    by Irritated Tulsan

  • 10 Rules for Black Friday Shopping

    Number of comments: 3
    It seems that anymore the only reason Americans celebrate Thanksgiving is to stuff themselves with a week’s worth of calories at one meal just so that that they can prepare for the all important Black Friday sales. If you are one of the millions of people that will be standing [...]
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    Posted: November 26, 2009, 5:51am EST
    by bestandworstofokc

  • Letter to the Editor #20 (Paranoia Edition)

    Number of comments: 4
    (Written in response to How to Spot Walmart “Security.”) Irritated Tulsan, only thing i dont get is that you post crap like this when more money is stolen from retailers then banks. making all the honest people in the world pay may more for a gallon of milk then a gallon of [...]
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    Posted: November 25, 2009, 6:59am EST
    by Irritated Tulsan

  • Tulsa’s Best Restaurants that are No Longer Here

    Number of comments: 9
    Many restaurants close due to progress.  They’re forced to move or the location drives customers away.  Some might go out of business or get sold. Although Tulsa has a wide variety of great restaurants, there are many that need to come back.  Godfather’s Pizza, Eastside Café and Pennington’s are a few. Some [...]
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    Posted: November 24, 2009, 6:28am EST
    by Irritated Tulsan

  • Mattatarian’s Food Offering of the Week (Apple Turnover Edition)

    Number of comments: 2
    (Originally posted October 21, 2oo8.) A light flakey puffed pastry crust, covered in sugar crystals, with a sweet cinnamon apple center.  QuikTrip’s Apple Turnover is baked fresh every morning. For a morning sugar rush, add a little maple syrup.  For an end of the day treat, add vanilla ice cream.  QT Quality. Inside [...]
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    Posted: November 24, 2009, 6:21am EST
    by Irritated Tulsan

  • And the KISS Tickets Go To…

    Number of comments: 1
    Two weeks from tonight, one of you see the KISS concert for free, or be a couple of hundred dollars richer. If I was really nice, I’d give everyone a ticket that entered. Since I don’t have Patrick’s or Biker Fox’s millions, I can’t do that. If you’re not the winner, [...]
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    Posted: November 24, 2009, 6:20am EST
    by Irritated Tulsan

  • Gay Children Finally Accepted in Baseball

    Good news future Ms. Thangs!  Edison High School will host the nation’s first Ms. Boys baseball tryouts.  A progressive move toward equality.  A gay-friendly sport, second only to girls golf. Finally, a place where it’s ok for boys to throw like a girl and peek at competition while in the shower.  [...]
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    Posted: November 23, 2009, 7:06am EST
    by Irritated Tulsan

  • 20 Things I’d Rather do Than see That Damn Twilight Movie

    Number of comments: 9
    Ooh, Robert Pattinson.  Ooh, Taylor Lautner.  Ooh, Kristen Stewart.  Ooh, the others no one cares about.  The second movie in the Twilight saga, New Moon, opens today. I saw the first one, but only because I discovered Redbox.  I figured, “it’s only a dollar, what could I lose?”  Two hours of [...]
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    Posted: November 20, 2009, 6:33am EST
    by Irritated Tulsan

  • I Think He Needs a Cattitude Adjustment

    Number of comments: 1
    (Much to my shock and amazement, my cat Socrates does more than just sleep the day away. Yesterday I received the following letter from him via e-mail. I thought I would share it with you.) My dearest Victor, I know that you fancy yourself as such a great and prideful servant to [...]
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    Posted: November 19, 2009, 6:14am EST
    by bestandworstofokc

  • Honest Downtown Tulsa Signs – Deluxe Edition

    Number of comments: 2
    If musicians can re-release CDs and call them Deluxe Editions, then why can’t bloggers re-release posts?  For this exciting re-release I combined three posts into one, which also includes the future Olympic signs. If you’ve been in Downtown Tulsa, you’ve probably seen these  signs. They’re helpful, but they could more honest. Future [...]
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    Posted: November 18, 2009, 6:24am EST
    by Irritated Tulsan

  • Mr. M Falls into A Well

    Number of comments: 6
    Poor Mr. M.  Seems always out of luck. He visited Downtown and got caught in a tree. Searched for Bigfoot, but found nothing.  This time, a simple walk turned into an life threatening moment when he fell into a well. Fortunately, he didn’t become a media sensation like those stupid poor children [...]
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    Posted: November 17, 2009, 6:43am EST
    by Irritated Tulsan

  • Meet Our New Mayor

    Tulsa elected a new mayor last Tuesday. Republican Oilman Dewey Bartlett, he has to be called an ‘Oilman’ to prevent rich people from rioting in the streets, beat the Democratic Caucasian Tom Adelson and Independent *Hottie Mark Perkins. Why should Bartlett be the only one with the title? (*According to my office [...]
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    Posted: November 17, 2009, 5:25am EST
    by Irritated Tulsan

  • The Napkin Disposal

    Number of comments: 9
    The lack of urinals should’ve been my first clue, but no, nothing clicked. It had been a few years since I barely graduated high school.  It was time to make something of myself.  Time to go to college. I visited several colleges throughout the state.  During my dozen tours, I learned that [...]
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    Posted: November 16, 2009, 6:17am EST
    by Irritated Tulsan

  • Dear Jackass at the ATM

    Number of comments: 5
    Whenever I use the ATM, I end up behind the idiot who apparently has never seen one before.  While it takes me a mere 30 seconds to withdraw my cash, I’m forced to wait 20 minutes for the Hooked-on-Phonics flunky to read every single direction. I do it to myself.  In [...]
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    Posted: November 13, 2009, 6:55am EST
    by Irritated Tulsan

  • 10 Things You Should Never Say to a Woman

    Number of comments: 9
    A few days ago I was in the garage assembling my new shelving unit and my wife came out and began talking to me. She was asking me some sort of question, and to be honest, I was determined to finish what I was working on before lunch time. I didn’t [...]
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    Posted: November 12, 2009, 6:33am EST
    by bestandworstofokc

  • 10 Warning Signs Tom Adelson Hasn’t Made Peace with Losing the Election

    Number of comments: 2
    Before all the votes were counted for the 2009 mayoral election, former candidate Tom Adelson conceded to new mayor Dewey Bartlett.  Now that it’s finally over, we can move on and plan ways to blame Bartlett for the city’s woes once he takes office. Although, there may be some bitterness on [...]
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    Posted: November 11, 2009, 5:58am EST
    by Irritated Tulsan

  • 10 Disturbing Products or Services That Walmart Could Carry

    Number of comments: 6
    Walmart has moved into the business of death.  Not only do they want to bring us everyday low prices while we’re alive, they plan to bring us savings from beyond.  The company’s Web site has started selling caskets.  If they decide to carry them in stores, hopefully they’ll be adjacent [...]
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    Posted: November 10, 2009, 5:55am EST
    by Irritated Tulsan

  • Mattatarian’s Food Offering of the Week (Blueberry Cake Donut Holes Edition)

    Mix blueberries in the donut batter, cut out the holes, toss out the circular bones, and you’re left with this week’s food offering: Blueberry Cake Donut Holes.  Unlike some donuts where you only taste the blue when you bite into the berry, this QT treat has blueberry flavor throughout.  Never [...]
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    Posted: November 10, 2009, 5:54am EST
    by Irritated Tulsan

  • Hip Hop Cops

    Broken Arrow police have found a new way to teach our youth about the dangers of drugs: hip hop music. What started as a speech about safety, turned into a gangsta-rap version of Hanson. Jump over to The Lost Ogle to finish this post. [...]
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    Posted: November 10, 2009, 5:52am EST
    by Irritated Tulsan

  • Reconstruction of the IDL

    Number of comments: 9
    Miles of the westbound lanes of Highway 244 that surround downtown are gone.  As part of the inner dispersal loop reconstruction, chunks of asphalt and concrete have been removed.  What’s left looks like a long gravel road, which is still smoother than what was torn out. I climbed a couple of [...]
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    Posted: November 09, 2009, 6:04am EST
    by Irritated Tulsan

  • October’s Tulsan of the Month

    Number of comments: 3
    I’d like to say that I won Tulsan of the Month, but I wasn’t even a close second.   I didn’t win my own award.  This month’s winner stomped the competition, but were the voters eligible?  The winner has a pattern of using non-eligible individuals. At least I don’t have to [...]
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    Posted: November 06, 2009, 6:25am EST
    by Irritated Tulsan

  • Great, Now I Think McDonald’s Tried to Kill My Child

    Number of comments: 9
    A few years ago I got sick; it was the absolute sickest I have ever been. After spending three days in Baptist hospital, countless vials of blood, a non-stop delusional high fever and a brutal bout of constant diarrhea, the doctors came to the conclusion that I had food poisoning, specifically [...]
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    Posted: November 05, 2009, 6:20am EST
    by bestandworstofokc

  • 30 Things About the Mayoral Candidates You Didn’t Know … Mainly Because They’re Not True

    As we inch close to next week’s mayoral election, the mudslinging should become more intense.  Republican nominee Dewey Bartlett Jr. claims that democratic nominee Tom Adelson, is light on child molesters.  Adelson claims Bartlett is an a******. Not to be left out, independent nominee, Mark Perkins is standing in the corner.  [...]
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    Posted: November 03, 2009, 6:01am EST
    by Irritated Tulsan

  • Mattatarian’s Food Offering of the Week (Oven-Roasted Turkey Sandwich Edition)

    Number of comments: 1
    QuikTrip has a few new sandwiches, perfect for a fast and healthy lunch, yes *healthy.  The Oven-Roasted Turkey Sandwich with Cheddar on 100% Whole Wheat Bread has three T essentials:  turkey, tomatoes and taste.  It also has the cheese, lettuce and mayo that’s necessary for a decent sandwich.  I thought [...]
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    Posted: November 03, 2009, 5:54am EST
    by Irritated Tulsan

  • Six People Protest Outside Mayor’s House. Yeah, That’ll Show Her…

    Because of a shortfall in sales tax revenue, it looks like your city might have to layoff a few workers too. The City of Tulsa cut 37. Twenty-one of them were police. Good thing that meth problem’s under control. Jump over to The Lost Ogle to finish this post. [...][...]
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    Posted: November 03, 2009, 5:53am EST
    by Irritated Tulsan

  • Tulsa’s Sleaziest Shopping Centers – The Outtakes

    Number of comments: 8
    When taking photos for a post, I usually take at least three shots, but only use one.  There are several pictures from Tulsa’s Sleaziest Shopping Centers that I didn’t use.  There are also a few shopping centers that didn’t make the list.  Here are the outtakes from that shoot.  Enjoy. [...]
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    Posted: November 02, 2009, 6:23am EST
    by Irritated Tulsan

  • Vote for October’s Tulsan of the Month

    October has ended.  Now it’s time to get gorge on the leftover candy we purposely bought too much of and vote for Tulsan of the Month.  It’s a choice among the TU Mascot, Occasionally Funny Blogger, Troubled Coach or the WNBA Team. A month full of sports winners … and then [...]
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    Posted: November 01, 2009, 12:51pm EST
    by Irritated Tulsan

  • Last Minute Costume Ideas 2009

    Number of comments: 5
    It’s Halloween and like many others, you still don’t have a costume. If you’re like me, you had no intention of dressing up. Then, at the last second you changed your mind and ran to the store, but only found a 2-for-1 bin full of Kate Gosselin wigs. If you’re [...]
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    Posted: October 31, 2009, 7:08am EDT
    by Irritated Tulsan

  • Letter to the Editor #19 (Abandoned Cemetery Edition)

    Number of comments: 1
    (A reader who has a personal connection with the abandoned cemetery I posted Monday sent me this comment.  It’s too interesting not to post.  As a teaser, I’ll have a special Saturday post tomorrow called, “Last Minute Costume Ideas 2009.” Click here for the 2008 list.  Until tomorrow, enjoy a [...]
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    Posted: October 30, 2009, 6:24am EDT
    by Irritated Tulsan

  • Girl Meets Vampire, Girl Gets Bitten!

    Number of comments: 9
    Halloween is probably my favorite holiday. It could be because I grew up in a family that bonded together over a good horror movie. Maybe it is because Halloween was also a big holiday in my house growing up. I thought today I would share a little something about myself that [...]
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    Posted: October 29, 2009, 7:00am EDT
    by bestandworstofokc
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